To find managing my DC’s mental health overwhelming?

I can totally relate to this -
and mines late teens - I get like a trauma response when I get texts from them !! My stomach drops and I think here we go ….
but completely want to be there for them at the same time! It’s really hard !

This may be controversial, but if this is happening a lot, maybe your response is encouraging it. There's obviously some things that can't be brushed off, if a child feels suicidal you sit and speak as long as needed. If they're feeling a bit anxious a quick "that's tough, why don't you go and try a walk/drawing (whatever self care they're into) and see if that helps". As long as they have some attention and time to chat with you during the week sending them off to use their own tools sometimes is fine. I'd say it's more than fine actually, it's an essential life skill.

Gosh I know exactly how you feel. Both my teen DC have quite severe mental health problems, including OCD and an eating disorder. DH does his best but they rely on me for all support. He has his own mental health struggles too. One of the DC even sleeps in with me. I feel like I couldn't go away for a weekend because DH wouldn't be able to manage.

It's exhausting and far harder than when they were little.

Yes sorry. Longstanding mental health issues for one and a range of emotional wellbeing for the others. I’m exhausted. I really hear you on the ‘won’t speak to dh’ and how you are the one solving things and googling things. Remember you are not a therapist, you are mum. It’s really easy to beat yourself up about this stuff.

It's v hard, sympathies here

I feel the same, mine is 7, we are having some progress with postponing worries for worry time, which we schedule 15 mins each day! Anything we haven’t gotten to the bottom of we go back to the following day! If he continues to worry i just try to reassure that we will write it down and talk it over at worry time. It seems to help some what! We then try and do something fun together afterwards, a favourite game or something as he’s still young, and then he’s not thinking of his worries at bed time.
Ive no idea if it’s right it’s just something I’ve been taught through cbt for my own anxiety! It’s definitely draining though I’ll agree with that!

We use the adage "if you hate everyone you're hungry, if you think everyone hates you you're tired" relatively successfully at bedtimes when it suddenly feels as though the world is ending...

Yes, I have a very anxious and sensitive 12 yr old. Struggling with year 7 and finding his place.
And once I've settled him, I then have a ball of anxiety of my own and can't sleep.
I have a 10 yr old who has always been very relaxed but has recently been struggling with concentration and his behaviour is suffering a bit in school so hoping I can nip that in the bud pronto.
But I keep saying how much easier it was when they were babies. Its hard, but my mum always tells me how lucky they are to have me in their corner and I am doing all I can.
My dh is a great dad, but rubbish at dealing with the MH stuff so it's all on me. Standing in solidarity with you OP!

How old are they? You are not alone. Mine are 13 and 10 and it feels relentless at the moment. I feel emotionally beaten up after just bearing the weight of their frustration and sorrow.
It helps that they often tell me that they feel better after letting it all out. I also tell myself that if they release their worries and anger to me it means they won't turn it inwards on themselves. I also go out to an exercise class two nights a week which right now feels like necessary protection. Do you get a protected night or two?
But mostly solidarity. When people say it gets harder as they get older I think this is what it means.

Been there myself. When both my sons were having problems I set up "office hours".... Made us all a hot drink, nice biscuits then had a good chat. But once it got to a certain time i would say I'm done. Dealing with everyone problems takes it out of me mentally, I need time to process everything.

100% with you op, every word. Mine are 18-30 and I’ve considered making this post myself.