To think supernanny doesn’t need a come back

" she has no professionally relevant qualifications"

Doesn't she have a nannying qualification?
Even if she doesn't experience also qualifies people and she has plenty of experience looking after children.

Hasnt done any kids i know who had time out any harm. So i will continue to do what i feel is right

OMG as a childless person who has to live in society with these spoilt children, there is more need than ever!

(I do think you have a point about filming children without their informed consent though. Maybe they should use actors or something).

I'm not blaming anyone, just stating a fact.

What "punishments" are guaranteed to be short and immediate, with no lasting upset anyway? I certainly can't think of any.

DD is now 26 and she used to love watching Super Nanny. She has turned out great and I didn’t have to do any hard parenting, she has self-educated 😂

For anyone interested in the reasons why time out is not recommended:
https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-20033248.html

Yes blame the distressed child for not complying immediately.

Absolutely. Love isn't about just doing whatever doesn't upset your child.

Agree! Also, people’s interpretation of love is different. Imho “proper” love involves holding boundaries, even though it can be momentarily uncomfortable for both parties.

If a child can’t withstand being separated from their parent for a few age appropriate minutes without understanding that they are loved despite the separation, then there are existing problems in the relationship.

I think more parents need to take a leaf out of Supernanny’s book and actually parent their children properly inc. consequences for poor behaviour.

Far too many pathetic (gentle??) parents about who think their children will drag themselves up or other people can parent their children for them.

I think some of her methods were good and she did get results, my objection was thinking broadcasting kids in crisis was entertainment for the masses.
To say that the naughty step and time out is bordering on abuse is absolutely ridiculous.

I don't think withdrawing attention (love) is the way to implement it.

We arent talking about chaining kids up in the cellar for weeks! Having them sit on a step or in the corner for an age appropriate amount of time is hardly "withdrawing love". And what I remember from the show is the parents who were unduly restrictive and harsh and who were being shown how to discipline children in an age appropriate way.

It's only not a short punishment if the child continues to play up.

I don't think there's any punishment that's guaranteed to be short every time - is there?

Of course in days gone by other adults would have stepped in and in fact in many places in France in that situation today, many people would still do so!

But in the absence of a “village” and extended family nowadays then it’s down to me and my dh. And if we are lucky, we can work with the school to form a team and do the same. We don’t expect anyone else to step in and do that for us.

I don’t think we can entirely blame societal changes or rely on anyone else. I agree that there have always been ineffectual parents but the solution is working with them to take responsibility and educate them, not blaming wider societal changes, however negative.

I have some sympathy with the view that no one is allowed to say anything negative about any poor behaviour in public nowadays for fear of being thought of as cruel, or for fear of retaliation, but I think the worm is turning a little now that things have become so bad, and I say that as someone who loves children, even dc who aren’t my own. and wants to see children out and about in public, not segregated off in a different train or plane compartment, or restaurant, somewhere.

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But you agree it can be long drawn out. So it isn't necessarily a short punishment.

I don't actually like time out very much, and particularly the way it's used on the show, I think the whole emotional rejection as punishment is very manipulative, and especially when it's dragged out until the child agrees to apologise/stay in the place they are put. However, I do think it's a misunderstanding of attachment theory to say that this harms/breaks attachment. You can't make or break attachment by a single action. It's patterns over time. This kind of thing is essentially a rupture (as in the "rupture and repair" model) and as long as it's outweighed in frequency by the more positive interactions which are warm, accepting and loving then it's unlikely to have any long lasting effect on attachment. Despite what some current parenting gurus claim, there is no actual necessity to have a repair be specific to a rupture incident so the fact that the approach maintains that the parent is right to discipline in this way and should not apologise for it does not negate the fact that the effects of a rupture in this way can be repaired (made up for) by repeated warm and positive interactions.

As I said earlier in my long/rambly post the show did not do a good job of explaining this balance, probably because the time out sections were the conflict/drama portion which provides the entertainment value in the format, likely the most financially rewarding aspect. I do think that Jo understands this balance even if she doesn't feel the need to refer to the underlying psychology of it. Whether she is aware of the difference in what she feels she is getting across to the parents vs what comes out on the TV programme, I don't know.

I don’t think this is always the case when it’s used intelligently.

If a child is being deliberately bumptious and hitting someone else say to grab a toy off them, then a message of “it’s a privilege to be around others whether they are family or friends or strangers, and if any one of us misbehaves, then we need to go away from where we are causing a bother and sit down alone and think a little and when we are calm again, we can be welcomed back” is entirely appropriate I think and I don’t see what is wrong with that at all. Especially when at home in familiar safe surroundings. And especially when parents model this too eg stepping outside to calm down for a few minutes.

Obviously if a child is playing up because they are scared or being unfairly provoked or are genuinely overwhelmed by a busy strange environment then you would not leave them alone but you might remove them and hold them until they calmed down and they could then talk to you.

Most sensible people know the difference between these two scenarios.

And most people can make it age appropriate too so a small child would sit on the bottom of the stairs for a few minutes within sight and sound of others, whereas a much older child would be sent to their room.

I honestly can see nothing emotionally damaging about that at all in a consistent loving environment where a child knows they are loved. Obviously, it could be damaging if there’s inconsistent, negligent or over indulgent parenting but that’s because of the emotionally damaging environment they are already in, not the technique itself.

But that's because the child has made that choice. Not because the punishment itself is designed to be long drawn out.

I have a little lad at the school l work in who has obviously never heard the word no from his parents and l can predict how he will turn out as an adult - entitled and arrogant and thinking the world revolves around him and his needs. Children meed boundaries and some of Supernanmy's ideas and strategies l think are needed.

If the child resisted it can drag on can't it? I seem to remember it as a minute for every year if their life and the time reset every time they get up, could easily drag on to what would seem a long time to a young child.

I think gentle parenting is often confused with permissive parenting. I was shocked the first time I saw permissive parenting in action. Child of about eight climbing out of a bedroom window and scrambling up to the roof. His mother was happy and I was on the verge of a panic attack.

What do you think the "naughty step" was if not a short punishment?

But short punishment is exactly what things like the naughty step are…