She gets away with doing whatever she wants

So totally not making soup then ?

what us mn readers think soup is - stock/water and veg

you now say actually she’s mixing spices together

yet you said you didn’t have the ingredients for soup

if it’s a few spices together then you have Totally re wrote your post 🙄

How did you come to that conclusion?

Its messy play and extremely valuable, but thats not what the OP set out and it sounds as if she didnt share the experience with her, sort of just a sitting back passive type of interaction with her. Not only that, but the fact she chops and chnages her mind wont be good for her child.

Not being a bitch about anything, just stating the very obvious. Not my fault you can't keep track of the threads you're on!

Nice .

Would have thought it be better if you joined in so she could actually learn something, you can keep an eye on goings on and do some bonding. Is how I learnt to cook early. 8 is way too young to be let loose solo in the kitchen. Oil fires anyone?

Ok, spice mixing not soup.

wtaf?

that’s dumb. Wasteful and unnecessary

the issue isn’t soup/spices, the issue is that @Timbucktutu said no and then let the dd do it anyway.

no needs to mean no. For all kids, and it’s just as important for ND kids too. Otherwise they don’t learn how to exist in the world.

By doing whatever she wants when you have said No.

this isn’t rocket science.

You have to teach kids there’s a time and place, and she can only cook when she cleans it all up properly.

You literally aren’t doing any kind of parenting here.

100% agree with this.

Ffs! @Timbucktutu, you are losing battles ALREADY? You’ve backed off the whole parenting thing and she’s not even in double figures?

I should shake you! Both of you! Shes 8. No means NO. She makes a mess, she clears it up.

with Suspected ND it’s even MORE important that you teach you daughter where the boundaries are. NOW! Before the hormones kick in.

you both need to radically change your approach to this; starting today.

Sounds like when mine used to make
“soup” when they were little. Difference being that they were in the garden with a bucket of water and leaves and soil, not the contents of the spice rack !

OP - "My 3 year old wants to make bread - AIBU not letting him as he can't possible knead the dough properly and work out the oven dials"

Posters - "WHAT? Why are you letting a 3 year old near an oven and how can he possibly know what goes into bread??!"

OP - "You eejits, dont you realise I meant in his play kitchen with a bit of flour and water I have given him?"

Posters - "FGS, we aren't mind readers, why didn't you say that in your first post?"

OP - "waaaaaaaaagh 😭I am such a terrible mum "

Soup - 2nd line
Re-read it....see the bit about cinnamon
On too many threads at the moment.....so very sorry .......so shoot me.... No need to be a b*tch about it!

Youre not a rubbish Mum, just not a very clear poster on Mumsnet. Which is hardly a huge problem in the great scheme.

People are just suggesting advice based on what you said, but you can’t blame them for being confused.

You can see opinions are split but a lot of people are giving quite useful advice.

All the posts about being supervised were based on the fact that the OP said her daughter was ‘making soup’. Unsurprisingly, a lot of us took that to mean that the child was ‘making soup’, not just mixing herbs together in a bowl.

👍

And it’s not good for children to be constantly supervised. It’s good for them to play imaginative games on their own.

I actually don’t think there’s anything wrong with letting your child make an imaginary soup, if the communication about the whole thing had been dealt with better. It’s a fun, imaginative game, if you’re sparing with the ingredients. I remember doing it at the same age. I used whatever I could find, including my mum’s fag ash…. But I used tiny amounts of things because I knew it was wasteful and that’s what I’d been told to do.

When you have a stubborn child, it’s extremely hard work. I know, because I have one. It just means you have to be extra clear and calm about what you’re allowing and what you’re not, and follow through consistently. Even then, there will be conflict, but if you can acknowledge where you went wrong yourself (eg being inconsistent) it will be better for your relationship.

Don't try and guilt trip posters who have pointed out perfectly reasonable critique of your parenting, wife-ing and what you posted initially.

Well now you are being ridiculous as your post didn't go the way you wanted.
Yeah letting your kid mess up the kitchen and waste food/ingredients just because you didn't enforce no means no isn't a great mum in my view, but you can change that by setting boundaries and not just lazing around by the fire you mentioned in your first post. Your daughter is 8 and needs supervision and boundaries, not you slacking off and then calling it letting her be creative.

But is ok, at least there’s the platitudes of “great mum”…

@EvangelineTheNightStar seems that @EvieBB is another one that hasn't grasped the thread, or read it fully, or even been in the same room as it! 🙄

What soup @EvieBB ?

Absolutely not! Ignore the nasty comments. You're doing great. There are some really upright people on here...that make ridiculous sweeping statements and have zero idea who you are and what you're actually like as a parent. The fact that you're as allowing your 8yo to make soup and be creative shows what a fab parent you are.

You must teach your daughter that no means no.

And if you don't, then you are a sh*t parent.

It doesn’t matter if she’s ND - my son is and it’s not an excuse for not enforcing and teaching boundaries. You should have told her no and enforced that decision.