To let dd self initiate potty training?

Personally I think your approach is right. She is only 2. I would definitely leave it for a while given her resistance.
Meanwhile read her books about big girls using the toilet/potty there are loads of good ones around . Let her choose some nice big girls pants to wear when she is out of nappies and if she plays with dolls do some playing where the doll/play figure goes to the toilet.

As much as possible take the pressure off because getting into a battle of wills with a 2 year old over potty training is never going to end well!

I think you're being very unfair on the nursery, OP.
7 accidents in one day?
Yes, they're fine for now, but further down the line it may be an issue.
Imagine if every child in the nursery was having as many accidents daily as your child.
You say you can't take time off to potty train because you're a teacher.
That's fine, but choose a long school holiday to potty train - ideally summer.
Not during school term time, where you have no time to support your child with this and just expect the nursery to deal with it.

You should have done it last Summer. Anytime from 18 to 30 months is best, usually around 2yrs old. I chose the time for my children depending on the season as it’s usually easiest to do it in warmer weather.

I can’t believe you’re a teacher! Presumably you don’t teach the younger children? We have a number of nappy-wearers in Reception. They’ve been allowed to ‘initiate it’ - and, guess what, they haven’t! Their parent(s) have let them down IMO. Teaching a young child to use a potty/toilet is part of parenting.

If you leave it too late then many children either dig their heels in or develop a complex about it. In your position with your DD being 2 and 8 months I’d do it over the Easter Hols. It needs consistency, time after time after time.

Get a potty for upstairs, a potty for downstairs, an insert child toilet seat and some nice pants, and put your DD on the potty/toilet very frequently. Make it clear what the expectations are and give copious praise if she does it. Don’t react to accidents if they’re genuinely accidents, and always put her on the potty after an accident to link the potty with bladder/bowel opening. Let her look at books or even watch TV if needed, or read to her. Two of my DC preferred the insert toilet seat and would happily sit there with books or something to entertain them. The other DC liked the potty and liked it to be close.

Once children have a number of successes, they usually progress fast but the process can take a couple of weeks or more. It’s not something you do in a day as you’re teaching a behaviour and it needs reinforcing.

Wait until the summer. Surely you will have a few days off then? Then take the nappies off and leave them off. Mine were dry within the week day and night. There will be the odd accident and of course when they say they need to go they need to go that second!

Absolutely U.

In my experience nursery will help as long as you warn them and have a reasonable strategy.

It’s very normal for the first few days to be a disaster. It’s reasonably normal to give up after a week and then try again in a month or two provided that the child isn’t about to start school. Absolutely not normal to leave it to the child. I 💯 know kids who would still be in nappies at 7/8 if their parents hadn’t supported them by which time it would be much harder to crack.

They’re not though. I have worked in a number of schools and there are non SEN kids from middle class families starting school not toilet trained.

@astrangeb ignore the nasty comments. You know your child best. I let my LO lead on his potty training. We had a potty available, and I told him all about potties etc. I knew it would be a battle of wills. So I let him decide. He was 3.5 when he asked to wear pants one day, and was dry all day and at night, immediately.

I was slightly worried that it was later than his friends, but they all had lots and lots of accidents. We’ve never had any accidents, and potty training has never been stressful for either of us.

You don’t need “a battle of wills” - she’s 2. You can reset this OP but you’re going to have to actively teach her.

I trained one of mine at 18 months and one at 21 months - timing was based on the weather. I read “Oh Crap” and followed it.

It is hard work for you as you’re going to have to watch her like a hawk while she’s learning. Your instinct to “wait until she’s ready” or self-initiates or that you “don’t want a battle” is just taking the easy way out/doing what’s easiest for you. It’s not in her best interests.

Ah OP I'd wait until the summer or until the weather is better, then she can just run around with no nappy, they're all different, DD2 cracked it in a weekend because her other friends were trained and she wanted to be like them, hadn't had much luck until then. DD1 we tried and were unsuccessful then waited a few months and tried again and all was fine, think she just wasnt ready the first time.

😂

I'd leave it til summer, when she's 3/almost 3. Take a week off work and focus. One smartie for wee and 2 for a poo. Job done!

My 2.5 girl did not want to haha. She's my third and I still managed it. I did it in Feb half term. She never wants to do anything not on her own agenda 🤣

There’s absolutely no point doing this. It’s a long haul, not a week or so like people claim. Both mine took months. It’s better if you just accept this and relax. Maybe take a fridsy off and start at home over a long weekend, but then just get on with your normal life. Nursery will be two steps forward one steps back (if they have a bunch of accidents on j one day they just put a nappy on)

If she can identify when she needs to go and hold it in, she’s ready to be potty-trained.

Summer is a much easier time to train though in my experience, not least because you can spend a lot of time outside and put the potty outside as well.

less cleaning of floors.

training at any time is going to involve a lot of accidents and it’s better on the lawn than on the carpet.

Agreed, mine "wouldn't" get dressed for school this morning,.... But she went to school dressed...

@astrangeb I disagree with "there's no point forcing it if she won't". It just takes a bit of perseverance.

The child led approach is about noticing the kid "is ready" to be trained and then... Training them. Not hoping that they'll magically be trained overnight through parental laziness.

https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/

Just do it over a long weekend or half term .
Yes you do have to actually get on and do it. Best age is from 18 months- 30 months.
It is surprisingly easyier to train when younger as you are finding out with a 2.8 year old. The older they get the more difficult it gets.
I trained all mine at 2 years . Took a week off work and literally just cracked it. Nothing like the pressure of not wanting to have waised annual leave to make something happen 😂

You're wrong.

You're just being lazy and can't be bothered with training, so hoping that she magically trains herself over night.

Step up and do this small bit of work for your sake and your child's.

Well, you're wrong.

Why do you think primary schools specifically mention being toilet trained these days?

No. I am not including SEN children.