To let dd self initiate potty training?

I know you said you had a hard time with your son but don't let this dictate.

My son was also a nightmare but we got there eventually. My daughter was entirely different and very easy.

Give it a proper go over several days and then decide. If it's endless tears and upset without progress then push it back but it sounds like she managed pretty well and failure at nursery after one day is totally normal.

You half heartedly sat her on the potty a couple of times and then sent her to nursery in pants? Completely set her up to fail OP.

You need to commit fully, and be prepared to stay home for a few days. Mine both got it by say three but that was after two days pantless hovering around the potty watching for signs. It's a pain but it works.

There are a bunch of bank holidays coming up over the summer just get on with it...nearly four year old should not be in nappies unless there's some additional needs going on.

You've just got to get on with it and take the lead. Both of mine were a nightmare to potty train, both taking roughly 6 months. Yes, it would be lovely to be dry in 3 days as other mums that I know have achieved...... but sometimes it just takes longer. You can't just give up on the first bad day. As others have said, start on the Easter weekend, we introduced a reward jar towards the end which worked a treat, also don't even bother with potty training pants, I truly believe they prolonged the whole painful affair, she needs to experience discomfort in wet knickers. After the Easter holidays, send her to nursery, she'll see her friends using the potty and this will make her want to take part too and this is all part of being a nursery worker (as much I hated to add to their work, it's all part and parcel of the job). You would be doing her a major disservice to just wait for her to initiate.

I think rather than waiting for the child's readiness it's more important to wait for a time when you're in the right headspace for it because it is hard.

My second one was frustrating because they were very resistant to the potty but knew to wait until I wasn't looking before weeing on the floor. I didn't always manage it but I had to try and act breezy and not too bothered but it was really hard.

To be perfectly honest I hated potty training. I think the first step is accepting that it is going to be hard and it is going to be messy. I'm not sure it can be done in a week but you can definitely make a solid start in that time and then ask the nursery to support you after that.

Leave her in knickers at home so she can learn to use the potty. Nappies at nursery until she recognises the cues. My dd was 2 when she was potty trained. Your dd is clearly not ready if she had 7 accidents at nursery.

Another tip I have for potty training was that my son must have had twenty accidents and five little wees on the first day.

It actually got harder for him briefly when he started holding it a bit, because he didn't want to wee on the floor but also overestimated his ability to keep playing.

Accidents aren't a problem in potty training. They're learning.

My DD was an absolute pain to potty train! Started properly when she was 3, no SN or anything but we wanted her to be ready. She didnt like the potty so we went straight to the toilet and it worked really well we just kept her nappy free and on floor we could clean and offered her the toilet every hour or so! The poos were so much harder I copied someone on here and had a back of cheap tat gifts in and basically bribed her to poo on the toilet for a present it didnt take long but man was she angry when the presents stopped 🤣

Re nursery i would take her nappy off just before she went in and give them lots of spare knickers, we also used potty pads a washable material in the car and in her buggy for a little while.

Dont let anyone make you feel bad for taking your time it's hard!

Op I'd try before she gets to three. 3 year olds are much more wilful and less suggestable than 2 year olds. I trained mine at the age your daugher is now and at that age I could put him on the potty and suggest he did a wee before we left the house. At 3 he would just refuse and scream at me.

Mine had a day of witholding wees in the first week of training too, I think it was because I was stressed. He was completely fine the next day. Also its normal for them to find it harder at nursery, don't let that deter you. There are more distractions, grown ups not watching their body language, no potty in the corner for hygene reasons.

It really sounds like she's ready to me. Its the weekend now, I think you should keep going. You can make significant progress from where you're at in 2 days. I believe in you both!

DGD (now 8) never would sit on a potty. DD and SIL got her a little seat to go on the toilet and she learned to use that.

Not ‘anxiety’, just normal behaviour. You are the anxious one here. Hopefully she will continue trying this weekend (if you encourage her), it sounds likes she’s doing a good job

But there are things you can do about it. My second child held her wee at first rather than going in the potty, so I just gave her lots of nice drinks. There comes a point when it has to come out, and the moment that happens you plonk them on the potty, if there’s a single drop in there you celebrate massively about what an amazing job they’ve done, and repeat from there.

I don’t believe in putting them on the potty and making them sit there for ages or randomly as that doesn’t help them connect needing to go with going to the potty.

You can’t potty train at nursery. Some parents do take leave so they can potty train. It’s a great deal of pressure though to do it on a time limit.

you need to use nappies or pull ups at nursery. It’s just not an environment for potty training.it will take longer going back and forth, but you will get it done.

Just stay home as much as possible until training is complete.

all children are differnt my eldest took her happy off and said they were for babies and never had one accident after that. She was 19 months. My other children were later. I made sure I had a week and just practiced all the time. Only took a few days and they were fine. Try not to stress she is still young

It depends how old she is. My daughter potty trained herself aged 2. We were going to a bbq and she said she didn't want to wear her nappies, she wanted pants. We took a potty along. She had a few accidents that day and then picked it up. My youngest took a bit longer and was in night nappies until reception..

It was the wrong advice because she was stressed by being in pants and not knowing what to do.
Train her at home first, then send her out in pants. You can't rush the actual training bit.

Had to put my two cents in as this has just happened with my DC. They’re 3.4yrs and I was feeling a failure for not having them toilet trained and feeling like I was being lazy. However, they were not showing any signs and a speech delay (no SEN) that’s slowly catching up. They asked for a pack of pants at the supermarket whilst we were getting other clothes as they like the character on them. I got them but was internally suspecting I was wasting money as had them choose their own pants previously but they just decided for whatever reason that the time was now and has worn pants since. Going against the grain but we went out and about, a couple of accidents caught quickly here and there but it’s been just under two weeks and no accidents at all since the start of week two. The first week had quite a few accidents at nursery and again thought may be they weren’t quite ready but they’ve been absolutely fine - suspect they’ll probs be accidents on occasion in the future. But don’t feel like we did anything by the book but it’s been a lot less stressful than anticipated and with hindsight I’m glad I didn’t push it sooner

Ps we had about 10 accidents our first day and even more on day 2. I recommend the Oh Crap book.

If she only goes to nursery twice a week then don't start potty training the day before, utilise the other days. Many parents take annual leave to potty train to avood nursery until they are ready. I understand as we just finished potty training mine a few weeks ago at age 3y4mo which felt really late but she just was not ready earlier. But we didn't send her into nursery until she was ready.

I would leave it either a month or 2 and try again.
My youngest was clueless aged 2y and 7 months. 2 months later she got it straight away. And shortly after was out of nappies at night time as well.