To let dd self initiate potty training?

I didnt train my oldest as my mum did as I was working nights and she had her but she wasnt completely dry at night till about 6.

My youngest is 4. She trained for daytime in 1 day. Sent her to nursery in pants and she went to the toilet every time her wee pals did. But she was still in pull ups at night. A few weeks ago she said to me she wanted to treat the pull ups like pants at night I said fine. Then I ran out and since then we've had 1 wet night.

Shes 5 in may and I'm surprised shes fully dry at night as they dont expect it before 7.

Potty training isn’t that difficult, 6 children, 2 trained by 2, 2 by 2yrs 4mths and 2 by 2yrs 8mths. Two of those have autism and one with kidney problems but I just picked a week to train, stayed at home as much as possible and did it. My boys took a full 7 days, girls were 1 day to 4 days, one of the girls has autism and kidney problems. I used loads of chocolate and cheering.

We did this dint see a reason to stress about it they worked it out by copying us

We used to do nappy free time in the evenings before bed. Potty available in their bedroom, after a bath. We would make sure they sat on the potty, if they didn't wee or poo we made no fuss. If they achieved a wee or poo, lots of excitement or praise.
We did this for a while. At some point we had a holiday in Centr parcs, we were outside a lot of the week and carried the potty everywhere. Mastered potty training by the end of the week.

I tried with my DD at a similar age and it failed miserably. I then waited until the summer holidays - was a bit later than I’d planned as she was 3 by then - also a teacher so couldn’t just take a few days off. She cracked it within a few days (for wee anyway, took another 2.5 years for poo but that’s another story).

At the age she is at, I’d just put it off until the summer if Easter and May half term aren’t doable with revision classes etc.

I wouldn't. She's of the age where it will get more difficult the longer you leave it. I would set aside a weekend and consider reading oh crap potty training before you try.

We bought my son Spiderman undies that he liked which we told him he could wear when he was using the potty. We then cut holes in pairs of old tights in the nappy area and left my son without any underwear. That way he had a massive shock when he saw the wee actually coming out and was able to connect the sensation with weeing. He learned within 48 hours after that. It's okay to be at peace with piss all over the floor as hopefully it will only be for a few days.

If you mean me, as I don't see anyone else that said anything about that, I knew that at the time and I know it now.

Just to point out to a few that night dryness can't be trained as it is hormonal. Many children aren't dry at night until five or six.

My daughter is about the same age as yours and I'm a teacher too. I trained her in the six week holidays. It took about a week to feel like we were getting somewhere. She also refused to wee in the potty and then immediately wet herself. It's part of it and you need to persevere.

I don't think there's any point forcing the issue if she's just not getting it - but I also think letting her lead is ridiculous.

When it looks like she might be getting ready; feeling more uncomfortable in a nappy, showing an interest etc. then try again. IME when they're ready they're ready, and because they can now associate the feeling of needing to go with actually taking an action, they tend not to have too many accidents. All three of mine were trained within a couple of days, about two weeks after they turned three (although two of them wet at night for a long time, and one was unfortunately a poo withholder).

I agree it's not worth the aggro to push it, but no, don't leave it all to her!

You need to teach her? Keep her home from nursery for a week, she doesn't HAVE to be at nursery. It's part of parenting.
Try the oh crap potty training book.

How old is your little one?

Gosh! That's a bit of a generalisation. I understand the established rationale is modern nappies being so absorbant as well as relatively cheap, and life being much more pressured now (both parents needing to be in paid employment). I've never read that babies and very young children were smacked if they had accidents; that would be incredibly cruel.

The trend for 'child initiatived' potty training is the reason children are starting school in nappies. I recently asked a friend's mum when her children were potty trained by, and all four it was around 12 months during the day (in the 1960s). With modern nappies children don't get the feedback of being wet when they wee, and the longer you leave it the more reinforced this lack of awareness becomes, making it increasingly harder for the child to learn to use the potty. There is an increase in bladder and bowel problems if children aren't potty trained by 30 months (ERIC). As you're a teacher, focus on potty training your daughter during the Easter holidays. If not done so already visit the ERIC website for advice on how to go about it. Good luck, the sooner you persevere, the sooner your daughter will be potty trained.

Potty training is and was my least favourite milestone. My daughter was quite keen at 2y4m but my son was over 3! I did follow the Oh crap guide because I didn’t know how to do it! You can take the awful bits, the first thing to remember is never to ask her if she needs a wee! It becomes a battle of wills! At first you’re just catching a pee, and then gradually hoping to see signs of them connecting the dots. Dresses with no pants underneath was the key for my daughter, she didn’t wear pants for weeks! If you have 3 days at home now I would really give it a go and see how you feel things are going on Monday.

You’re just not doing it right. You need to stay at home for a few days at least.

Not rtwt. Both my kids potty trained before they started nursery, daughter aged 2.5 and son was 3. I remember trying with my son and he kept wetting himself repeatedly. I waited a month or so and the next time I tried he got it immediately with no accidents. I had the same experience with my daughter on reflection - was finding lots of accidents so I waited and she picked it up fast when she was ready. A child can change lots in even a couple of months. I preferred this approach than trying to keep at it with repeated accidents. Having said that, if he hadn't picked it up before school nursery id have done that.

Hate to say it op but they do get stubborn at that age. Why do you think some people advocate doing it earlier 🙄 its way easier around age 2, they might bave slightly more accidents but they refuse/are stubborn way less!

It’s easier to reason with a four year old.

You don't reason with a 4 year old. It's pointless. You are the adult, they are the child you are in charge. You instruct them and tell them what to do.

If reluctant, go carrot or go stick.
Carrot - choc button for a wee etc. Sit on potty while watching tv. Massive praise for any wee or poo on loo, small praise for trying/not refusing to sit.
Stick = natural consequence - "oh if you want to go to the playground we have to try for a wee on the loo before we go."

There's actually a lot of good news buried in your posts on this thread, OP.

Good news! You're a teacher (like me) = long and frequent holidays in which to potty train your child.
Good news! You've done it before (with her elder brother) so actually know what you're doing this time.

There's no harm in taking a short break from it if it really isn't happening (though from your most recent posts it sounds like your daughter is moving in the right direction!). However, at some point in (ideally the near) future (Easter holidays?) you'll have to grit your teeth and try again.
As mentioned above, I'm also a teacher, so we attempted to train our first son in the April/May holidays when he was 2y6m. I had read the 'Oh Crap' book and felt it was a good moment as he had been showing signs of readiness.
It was a DISASTER. He had a bladder of steel so would hold it in for ages but would then pee everywhere in totally inappropriate places the second you turned your back. I left him with my husband for 2 minutes and when I came back he had peed on the windowsill 😵
He also refused to poo at all.
After a week of this, it was stressing me out to the point of giving me bad dreams, so we stopped and decided to give it another go in the summer holidays.
That time: total success within a few days. Dry during the day (all pees/poos on the potty or toilet, though I think there was one time when he peed in the garden!), and even during the afternoon nap. Just nappies at night.
We had used reusable nappies from birth, which I think helped enormously, as kids can feel that they are wet.
A week after training him, I took him on holiday to visit his cousins. We carried the travel potty everywhere; he even peed once in it in the middle of the high street. No accidents during the holiday at all.
This was in 2021.
A few years later (2025) I was getting ready to train the youngest one and thought the summer holidays would be a good time again, but was a little anxious because of remembering how bad the initial attempt had been with the eldest (so TOTALLY understand where you are coming from there). He was also younger in the summer holidays than his elder brother had been (2y6m vs 2y9m). Indeed the first 2-3 days were tricky because a] he wouldn't always tell us when he wanted to go so we had to really watch him, and b] pants felt too much like nappies and he seemed to think it was OK to pee in them.
Then I remembered what they'd said in the Oh Crap book about going commando in the initial stages. As soon as we removed the pants he seemed to get it. I think though for safety he did go commando for about a month before we introduced pants and he went back to daycare in September like that. We then had no issues when he started to wear pants. He's now just turned 3 and is extremely well trained (dry during the day and during naps - no accidents ever - only needs a nappy for night-time).
So I really urge you to try again soon (before your daughter turns 3) - remember that you have done this before successfully.

I’m not leaving it to nursery, but she does go twice a week and I can’t really call in sick because I’m potty training her, can I?

You need to do it in the holidays.

You can't be made to provide revision classes in holidays? Or get her dad to take off some time for it. You need a clear week off work. A horrific number of children don't "self initiate", if anything lots get quite stubborn/prone to refuse by age 3. Reality is potty training for most kids requires some effort/sacrifice on parents part but its nof forever

At nursery they don't always want to leave their toys or to miss out. But Tuesday is a long way off in terms of the progress she's making and given she peed so often today, she'll be deemed much better even if it's four changes!

Edited to say I bought knickers with a Terry toweling lining. They don't hold it long and they know they are wet but long enough that it's just a quick change and no puddle. Handy when you start going out too.