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AIBU?

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Original poster

To let dd self initiate potty training?

237 replies

astrangeb · 06/03/2026 16:48

Any other way seems laden with disaster.

Gave it a try yesterday and today; yesterday wasn’t too bad, today she just had seven accidents (at nursery)

I am thinking leave it until she initiates it.

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 06/03/2026 16:59

To be blunt OP a lot of kids really don't care about sitting in their own waste. To be honest even as a fully trained adult I find it a pain when I've got to stop what I'm doing and take myself to the toilet. They won't always self initiate, you have to be the parent here and take responsibility.

Ella31 · 06/03/2026 16:57

Not sure why you are posting if you are disagreeing with other posters who are telling you, you need to be proactive. Kids naturally resist this so you gently persist. There will be more bad days than good at the start but you keep going because like everything with toddlers, its repetition and habit.

You need to take time off, it's crap but it's the only way.

marcyhermit · 06/03/2026 16:56

astrangeb · 06/03/2026 16:53

@marcyhermit I’m not leaving it to nursery, but she does go twice a week and I can’t really call in sick because I’m potty training her, can I?

She kept asking me to change her nappy yesterday and so I encouraged the potty. At first she refused but she then went on it. Yesterday wasn’t too bad but today was a disaster. I can’t not send her and nursery were fine about it (I rang up yesterday and asked what I should do.)

Why would you call in sick?
You take some time off to potty train, at least do 4 full days of training at home before you send her to nursery in pants.
Of course it was a disaster to send a child who hasn't been potty trained to nursery without a nappy. I'm not sure what you expected your child to do?

youalright · 06/03/2026 16:55

No this is why kids are going to school in nappies because parents think they should wait until the child initiates it. You need to book a week of work preferably in the summer.

MyBrightPeer · 06/03/2026 16:55

You need a few days to run at it head on - we did it over Christmas when both parents were off for a solid block and we were able to crack it. She’s not going to initiate it herself but she might reach a point when she responds better. How old?

hellofrommyothername · 06/03/2026 16:55

I’ve never potty trained a child (mine is very young) but I am planning to take a week off work when it’s time to. I can’t imagine it’s easy to change your toileting habits overnight.

Pretty much the only time mine is ever without a nappy is in the bath he probably thinks it’s part of him!

momtoboys · 06/03/2026 16:54

How old is she?

Elizabeta · 06/03/2026 16:53

Have you seen the stats about the shockingly high number of kids to start reception in nappies?

Presuming you don’t want that, you do actually need to do some parenting…

Original poster
astrangeb · 06/03/2026 16:53

Tigercrane · 06/03/2026 16:52

She isn't going to show initiative.There are some things you need to show her.It will be easier if you do it in the summer or when it's warmer..
There are books on how to do it.

I think she will. She won’t get to four and be wanting nappies.

OP posts:
Original poster
astrangeb · 06/03/2026 16:53

@marcyhermit I’m not leaving it to nursery, but she does go twice a week and I can’t really call in sick because I’m potty training her, can I?

She kept asking me to change her nappy yesterday and so I encouraged the potty. At first she refused but she then went on it. Yesterday wasn’t too bad but today was a disaster. I can’t not send her and nursery were fine about it (I rang up yesterday and asked what I should do.)

OP posts:
Tigercrane · 06/03/2026 16:52

She isn't going to show initiative.There are some things you need to show her.It will be easier if you do it in the summer or when it's warmer..
There are books on how to do it.

marcyhermit · 06/03/2026 16:50

You aren't giving it a try if you sent her to nursery?
You need to actually take some time to potty train your own child rather than leaving it to her!