Page 3 | Should we be paying for both brides?

ohbaby70 · 2026-03-06T14:10:39+00:00

Friend getting married next year. Both women. They want a joint hen do abroad. They have asked us not to cover their costs because there are two of them. Maid of Honour wants us to pay anyway. Everyone else agrees. AIBU to think it’s a bit much? It’s an extra £100. If it matters, there are 20 of us going and it’s for three nights in Greece.

CakeMeHomeIveSeenEnough · 06/03/2026 21:03

I'd solve the problem by not going myself, especially as your friend has made it clear she understands that not everyone will want or be able to afford to spend that much. If you were already on the fence, this would decide it for me.

Solost92 · 06/03/2026 20:45

Cheaper than paying for two separate hen dos.

MeganM3 · 06/03/2026 20:34

No way. It’s one thing chipping in an extra tenner at a meal and quite another to pay for their 3 day trip. £100 is a lot for some (most) people. And £1000 is too much to spend on a hen.

mathanxiety · 06/03/2026 20:30

@ohbaby70

If they've both turned down the offer, don't push it. Put the money toward a nicer wedding gift if you have it to spare.

mathanxiety · 06/03/2026 20:29

TheFilliesWillRiseAgain · 06/03/2026 14:33

Normally I would say no but if it's LGBT then yes you should pay to show support for the community at this time

Nah, you honour them by treating them exactly the same as a heterosexual couple.

Thesnailonthewhale · 06/03/2026 20:25

I did afternoon tea with 5 others and laid for iit all. Wouldn't dream of having people pay for themselves and definitely not me!

Thesnailonthewhale · 06/03/2026 20:23

ohbaby70 · 06/03/2026 14:15

£1000.

Show quote history

£1000?

Woodfiresareamazing · 06/03/2026 20:19

ohbaby70 · 06/03/2026 19:10

Haven’t caught up with the whole thread yet, but brides have been very clear that they understand if the cost means people can’t go, and they’ll celebrate with those people at home. I do think it’s a lot of money and I’m not yet completely sold on going.

It irritates me every time I’m asked to pay for the bride and also don't understand how it became a thing, but I’m in the minority and will now look grasping if I say no. I also agree that a joint hen/joint stag/joint hen and stag is really just a holiday, but if that’s what they want to do then that’s up to them. As I say, they’ve been very clear there’s no pressure.

There is absolutely no way I would be spending £1000 on 3 days in Greece. That's a ridiculous amount of money for a very short holiday. How much of that time will be spent travelling?

Why is it so expensive?!

I also agree re subbing the bride - I dont know when that became a thing, it's a trend that should be reversed imo.

HopSplidge988 · 06/03/2026 20:12

OP, how about fake a pregnancy, or anxiety and regretfully have to pull out?

I wonder if the total cost is grating on you more?

Babyijustdontgetit · 06/03/2026 20:11

TheFilliesWillRiseAgain · 06/03/2026 14:33

Normally I would say no but if it's LGBT then yes you should pay to show support for the community at this time

Jesus

Beautifulhaiku · 06/03/2026 20:03

Re. Not paying being homophobic - are you joking?

Silvertulips · 06/03/2026 20:00

I think this is an American tradition - I would not go to a hen weekend/week!!

Once there it’s all spa this, activity that - no thanks

Itsjustmeagainhello · 06/03/2026 19:57

I really detest this whole mindset of a hen do needing to a weekend or week in a foreign country. What's wrong with a good old fashioned Hen NIGHT. Why should guests be expected to fork out £00s of their own money to attend a hen week/end, let alone pay for the bride.
I absolutely agree with paying for the bride for a hen NIGHT but it's getting ridiculous.

Clearinguptheclutter · 06/03/2026 19:42

I’m pretty sure I paid for most of my own hen do!!!

TheDenimPoet · 06/03/2026 19:40

I'm just about fed up of people getting married and expecting people to pay an absolute fortune for the pleasure of spending the day watching them get married.

It's so unnecessary!

titchy · 06/03/2026 19:36

It’s not really a hen do if they’re both there is it? Surely they should be doing something with their respective friends/family? I realise that’s missing the point

Could you pay some of there costs? Say all their meals out plus drinks.

iolaus · 06/03/2026 19:32

I can't get over £1000 for a 3 night stay EACH

I'm not paying that for a full week all inclusive

Dinosweetpea · 06/03/2026 19:29

BlueMum16 · 06/03/2026 18:39

I've done many combinations of hen parties, meals, spa days, UK weekend, weekend in Ibiza to a few nights in Vegas.

Every single bride has paid their own way.

When did it become a thing that they get a free ride?

This. Never paid for a bride.
No-one paid for me when I was a bride.
Totally ridiculous ask.

HDHSHK237 · 06/03/2026 19:28

£22,000 for a 3 night hen night?? Utter madness

Back out now @ohbaby70 the costs will only rise

Keroppi · 06/03/2026 19:23

1k for 3 nights in Greece split with 20-22 other people going all paying 1k? Insanity.

pouletvous · 06/03/2026 19:21

If the bride(s) want a pre-wedding holiday with their mates, that’s their choice. It makes no sense to ask others to pay for them. It’s actually a bloody cheek

pouletvous · 06/03/2026 19:19

Nah. Fuck that

just pay for yourself

Original poster

ohbaby70 · 06/03/2026 19:10

Haven’t caught up with the whole thread yet, but brides have been very clear that they understand if the cost means people can’t go, and they’ll celebrate with those people at home. I do think it’s a lot of money and I’m not yet completely sold on going.

It irritates me every time I’m asked to pay for the bride and also don't understand how it became a thing, but I’m in the minority and will now look grasping if I say no. I also agree that a joint hen/joint stag/joint hen and stag is really just a holiday, but if that’s what they want to do then that’s up to them. As I say, they’ve been very clear there’s no pressure.

OP posts:

Summerhut2025 · 06/03/2026 19:09

Why on earth would you be paying for either of them anyway who the heck does that? They’ve asked you all to attend their hen party which is going to cost you money why on earth should you all pay for them when it’s their choice to get married and have a hen party! The world has literally gone bananas.

Meteorite87 · 06/03/2026 19:05

DaisiesButtercups · 06/03/2026 14:45

I wouldn’t be paying £500-1000 to attend someone’s Hen Do. Really cheeky they want you to pay for the brides too.

Agreed.

Is the wedding a "destination" wedding too?