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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for your ideas to take petty revenges on an uninvited guest?

410 replies

guestsareinvited · 06/03/2026 13:18

Because of boring and longwinded reasons, I can't currently prevent this person from coming to stay with me whenever they like. But I don't have to treat them like a guest, because guests are invited. I have plans in place to renounce this obviously terrible arrangement as soon as possible, but in the meantime I am relieving my frustrations by plotting small, petty revenge's that aren't unreasonable.

(They have a lovey home of their own, and don't really want to stay here. They are choosing to be here specifically because they know I don't want them and to make the point that they still can. It's silly and childish and I didn't choose it. They did, and are also deliberately prolonging the situation. There's nothing to do but laugh about it, and this is intended to be in jest. Although I can't promise I won't put one or two into practice if there are good suggestions.....)

OP posts:
ChocolateCinderToffee · 06/03/2026 20:43

has she got any phobias you don't share? Snakes? Spiders? You might want to get a new pet.

I would also be getting up ungodly early and chanting 'OM OM' and telling her I was aligning my chakras or something.

Thehop · 06/03/2026 20:41

A few drops of optrex in their tea. They'll shit through the eye of a needle for hours

CantBreathe90 · 06/03/2026 20:38

Aaaah, don't do any of these things to your own mother! However annoying she is, she presumably did birth and raise you. Maybe she secretly wants to spend some time with you, even if she says otherwise.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 06/03/2026 20:34

Just move asap

Owl55 · 06/03/2026 20:31

Leave a selection of house for sale leaflets from estate agents somewhere she’ll come across them accidentally , maybe she’ll panic thinking she will lose the rent payment from you!

EatSleepDreamRepeat · 06/03/2026 20:25

You need a cuckoo clock.

Also don't buy it off her, she will still see it as hers and she won't change. You need your own place either rented or bought.

Fgfgfg · 06/03/2026 20:23

Gall10 · 06/03/2026 20:18

Yes…it’s either another mumsnet wind up (like 99% of posts) or we definitely need to know the circumstances around this fiasco.

She told us 2 hours ago.

Gall10 · 06/03/2026 20:18

NoahDia · 06/03/2026 13:24

Who owns or rents the house?

If it's you then they are your guest.

And this thread is ridiculous.

Yes…it’s either another mumsnet wind up (like 99% of posts) or we definitely need to know the circumstances around this fiasco.

Purplebunnie · 06/03/2026 20:05

You already know this but your mother is very manipulative. At the moment you are doing her a favour by keeping her property in good order and she uses you for free holidays and to enable whatever game she is playing. I like all the ideas of getting valuations and leaving details of other properties around but might this push your mother to mess you about even more? Might she start giving you deadlines when you have to vacate and then say no you can stay?

Get a valuation for you own interest if you want but I wouldn't tell her. Slowly slowly catchy monkey

I don't think anything you do try and keep her away will work. She is one sneaky person

Edited as I'd missed a word out

PrettyPickle · 06/03/2026 20:01

Pull the quilt back on their bed and generously sprinkle drawing pins. Then take the light bulb out of all light fittings in their bedroom or put spent bulbs in.

I did this to my brother when I was a kid in revenge for something similar he did to me and the little *** didn't even have the decency to scream!

SilverPink · 06/03/2026 19:59

Buy some class As and hide them in her suitcase for her next trip back to Europe….

thestudio · 06/03/2026 19:58

NoahDia · 06/03/2026 19:17

You 'fired' no more than a little dribble from your water pistol.

But great that it made you excited to do so.

Ah, you’re a man.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/03/2026 19:57

I was guessing family /mum and seems I’m right

why not just rent a different house

OneNewEagle · 06/03/2026 19:52

You tell her the figure you are willing to pay. If she declines, as she will, you find another home and buy it and move out. She is then stuck trying to sale an empty house with no rent coming in.

EvieBB · 06/03/2026 19:49

EvieBB · 06/03/2026 19:49

I actually week out thin pillows....can't sleep on thick ones 🤣

I actually SEEK out thin pillows....

EvieBB · 06/03/2026 19:49

Bigearringsbigsmile · 06/03/2026 13:22

Give them the shittest thin pillow possible.

Turn the heating up either uncomfortably hot or down too cold.
Run out of tea and coffee. Hide all the spoons.
Set the Google mini to have an alarm go off every thirty minutes day and night.
Change the WiFi password.

I actually week out thin pillows....can't sleep on thick ones 🤣

MrsAnon6 · 06/03/2026 19:47

She sounds very controlling and like she’s enjoying having the upper hand. I’d leave as soon as possible as she’s not going to get better.

PloddingAlong21 · 06/03/2026 19:30

Rent somewhere else and take your life back? Tell her you can’t have her appearing and disrupting your life every two weeks.

TheMorgenmuffel · 06/03/2026 19:23

You should tell her very bluntly that you are sick of this being dangled over your head so no matter what, you won't be buying it and you are looking for a home to move into that she can't claim any right to be in.

SuziQuinto · 06/03/2026 19:21

Summerhut2025 · 06/03/2026 19:19

I wouldn’t be buying her home and I would buy another one pronto and move out asap.

Same here. Or rent somewhere temporarily.

Summerhut2025 · 06/03/2026 19:19

guestsareinvited · 06/03/2026 18:15

It's very tedious.

It's my mother. She owns the house, I rent it. I pay the bills.

She offered me the house so I could sell mine in September because we had a great cash offer, but I didn't know where DD would be post 16. She lives in Europe and was already planning to rent it out properly (or so she said). After I committed to selling mine, and had part moved, she then announced she would be keeping a room and proceeded to come and stay repeatedly for long periods without asking or even informing me. If she had been open about it being effectively a house share, I would have never have agreed. She used to come here for four days every six weeks which would have been tolerable. Now she is here every two weeks, and for weeks at a time. She is evasive over when she is coming or (even worse) going. She makes no contribution to household bills or chores. She repeatedly tells me it's my home, while treating it as her home. It feels very draining the way she keeps dangling the possibility of selling and almost gloating in her ownership power.

She says that she wants to sell the house, so I have offered to buy it, in cash, for full market value. She agrees, provided I match hypothetical offers then....doesn't gather any offers, won't give any valuation figures and the price she muses on varies wildly. Two weeks ago she said she would be delighted to get £250k for it. I need to liquidise more assets for that, so I checked my figures and agreed yesterday. Suddenly, a friend of a friend has told her it should be a minimum of £400k, snd we're back to matching hypothetical offers that she doesn't have. She clearly doesn't want to sell or rent, probably at all, certainly not to me. That's all completely fine, it's her house, she wasn't obliged to offer it me. I didn't ask or in any way expect her to. She only has to say so and stop all this dicking about.

I know she can't legally come and go as she pleases, but obviously I also can't just change the locks. I'm not prepared to pursue a legal route against my own mother anyway, it's not worth it. I'm looking at other houses now. As soon as my daughter finishes her GCSE's, we will be out and she can go back to Europe and do whatever she likes with it. Probably nothing.

There is nothing to do but laugh at her in the meantime. I bear her no real malice, but I am beyond tired of being kept dangling. I won't ACTUALLY put dead mice in her bed. But plotting to makes me feel better about having to put up with sharing a house with her being quite unreasonable in a situation she deliberately arranged to suit herself, apparently isn't comfortable with and won't change.

I wouldn’t be buying her home and I would buy another one pronto and move out asap.

NoahDia · 06/03/2026 19:17

thestudio · 06/03/2026 19:14

Since I read your post? Why, does it usually take you a while to aim and fire?

You 'fired' no more than a little dribble from your water pistol.

But great that it made you excited to do so.

thestudio · 06/03/2026 19:14

NoahDia · 06/03/2026 15:52

Oooh a little quip 🤭

How long have you been practising that and dying to use it?

Since I read your post? Why, does it usually take you a while to aim and fire?

Eufyon · 06/03/2026 19:13

SuziQuinto · 06/03/2026 19:09

This would be the obvious answer?

It is blindingly obvious

so I suspect the “rent” is peanuts

SuziQuinto · 06/03/2026 19:10

Eufyon · 06/03/2026 18:32

You rent it? So just… rent somewhere else? Unless she’s charging you peppercorn rent and that’s allowing you to save loads towards next purchase

This ⬆️