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Original poster

To leave my house to my children and not my husband

333 replies

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:24

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

OP posts:
GoldbergVariations · 06/03/2026 08:46

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:41

This is so weird to me. I adore my husband! I just know that if I died he would not need the money as he has a brilliant income. My kids would need it. I’m also a high earner (I earn slightly more than him!) so no one is struggling but if I died then my children’s lives would change substantially.

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I suggest you take out a decent life insurance policy.

sittingonabeach · 06/03/2026 08:46

Who will he leave everything to?

rwalker · 06/03/2026 08:44

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 08:37

I have first hand experience of this happening which is what I’m looking to avoid!

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A life time interest would sort that and that ends if he married again
the guy paid towards the mortgage the house isn’t 100% yours to give away as you please

DeftWasp · 06/03/2026 08:42

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 08:37

I have first hand experience of this happening which is what I’m looking to avoid!

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You would be far better going tenants in common on the deeds, leaving your 50% in a IDPI to him, in trust for the children.

You could on top of that have mutual wills, in which he leaves his 50% to the children also - a mutual will cannot be varied after the first parties death, so he could not then will that part to a future spouse, as mutual wills do not void on re-marriage.

Newyearawaits · 06/03/2026 08:41

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:30

He’s contributed 50% of all bills.

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Including the mortgage?

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 06/03/2026 08:40

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:53

Yes indeed. As I said I’d update the will as we got older.

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What if you don’t have capacity to?

fuuuuckthis · 06/03/2026 08:40

OP I think you are getting an unfair pasting for asking on MN, plenty of other people do this while waiting to see a lawyer, doctor, whatever and it's fine...I suspect it's because you have revealed you're well off!

Anyway, from reading your posts I would say death should be less of a concern to you than divorce. And I know you'll not be thinking you'll get divorced, but no one ever does!

Swiftie1878 · 06/03/2026 08:39

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 08:29

I assure you, he is thrilled with his position in life.

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Wow (again). You actually sound like quite a nasty person now - the more you post, the worse it sounds.
Good luck to you all.

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 06/03/2026 08:39

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:41

This is so weird to me. I adore my husband! I just know that if I died he would not need the money as he has a brilliant income. My kids would need it. I’m also a high earner (I earn slightly more than him!) so no one is struggling but if I died then my children’s lives would change substantially.

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He has a good income NOW. What about when he’s 80? Will he be in a stable enough place at that time to have enough savings to buy outright (and where will he live while actually buying his new house), or will he have the stability to be able to get a rental (which is a nightmare at the best of times now).

lottiegarbanzo · 06/03/2026 08:38

And you can set things up so he has a right to live there and continued parental responsibility. You can set whatever age you like for the dc to inherit e.g. 25 rather than 18 or 21. Whatever works all round. He could buy them out, they would inherit at a point when they’re likely to have moved out and want to live elsewhere while he downsizes - lots of possibilities.

HoskinsChoice · 06/03/2026 08:38

Person bright enough to earn six figures but not bright enough to think a lawyer might be a better idea than mumsnet. This is definitely a legitimate thread... 🙄🤣🎣

DeftWasp · 06/03/2026 08:38

2026Y · 06/03/2026 08:22

There is a mechanism for him to challenge the will but whether he is successful will based on whether he has been 'provided for' (and whether he needs to be provided for IYSWIM). If he was dependant on you and you didn't make adequate provision for him in your will, that would be grounds to challenge it. I would see a solicitor - it sound like in your situation it will be non-contentious but it is more complex that a standard situation so best take advise about how to structure it all.

Its not only that, as it is the marital home, and he lives in it and presumable pays some of the running costs, for improvements, mortgage etc, he can claim a beneficial if not legal interest - that can in of itself be monitised by a court, especially after the hypothetical death of the OP the starting point would be 50%

Naunet · 06/03/2026 08:37

Why are you here OP? It's seems you and your wet mug of a husband already agree on what to do, so whats the point of this thread? Just attention seeking?

Imdunfer · 06/03/2026 08:37

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 08:29

I assure you, he is thrilled with his position in life.

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I don't really care as I don't know him, but your own attitude is not showing you to be a very nice person.

I can't imagine feeling that a man who was with me from the purchase of the house and had paid 50% of the mortgage since is some kind of lodger in his own home.

It would be one thing to agree between you that his share goes to the children, that's not uncommon. It's another altogether to deny that he owns his share.

Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 08:37

lottiegarbanzo · 06/03/2026 08:34

Make a will, discuss with lawyer.

But yes, you can and should. If you die young he could re-marry, then when he dies she inherits everything. Your children nothing. This happens.

I have first hand experience of this happening which is what I’m looking to avoid!

OP posts:
Oriunda · 06/03/2026 08:36

HairyToity · 06/03/2026 07:36

My uncle did this, he gave his wife a life interest in his house but on her death it reverts to his children. She can also sell the house and buy another one, but will still be owned by his children.

We have this too, but our DS is ours, not just DH's, and the house was paid for by him. My life interest ends if I remarry which is fair enough.

OP's situation is slightly different; her husband pays half of the mortgage and running costs.

OP, you are being unfair to him. At the very least, you need tell him your plans so that he can stop paying half of the mortgage, and start saving his a possible new home.

Or, you leave him a life interest, or a proportion (50% of proceeds ex deposit). Either way, you need a decent solicitor.

DeftWasp · 06/03/2026 08:35

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:36

My husband is aware of my wishes and is in support of me! He’s well able to take care of himself…

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The obvious route would be to make an IPDI (immediate post death interest) for your husband for his lifetime and then make the children the remaindermen to inherit absolutely on his death.

However, because you are married 50% of the house is legally his anyway, so he would have excellent grounds to challenge such a will if he wanted to.

You really need to see a solicitor.

lottiegarbanzo · 06/03/2026 08:34

Make a will, discuss with lawyer.

But yes, you can and should. If you die young he could re-marry, then when he dies she inherits everything. Your children nothing. This happens.

Mulledjuice · 06/03/2026 08:32

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:30

He’s contributed 50% of all bills.

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Including mortgage?

You'd be leaving him homeless?

Planner2026 · 06/03/2026 08:31

You need to see a solicitor and get this ironed out. I would also suggest you have a frank conversation with your husband and your children.

Theunamedcat · 06/03/2026 08:30

You could give him the right to live there until he dies unless he cohabits or remarrys

Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 08:29

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I assure you, he is thrilled with his position in life.

OP posts:
Trusttheawesomeness · 06/03/2026 08:29

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:34

No I didn’t say that, he has contributed to bills, not to the deposit

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He’s paying half the mortgage. Half that house is his, and he’ll win if the contests the will.

Does he know you’ve done this?

Imdunfer · 06/03/2026 08:27

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Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 08:27

Cottagecheeseisnotcheese · 06/03/2026 08:26

I'm no lawyer but I do remember reading somewhere that if a will leaves someone considerably worse off than a divorce would it will probably be contestable. Also you need to set a time frame for house sale. You surely don't want him to have to move out before the funeral, I would at least give a year or so, Is your DC father likely to step up as full time parent or would DH be their guardian. Who would control the proceeds of house sale etc while your kids are still minors

The DC’s father would happily take care of them but he is not as financially well off as me, hence me wanting to ensure provisions are made.

OP posts:
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