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Original poster

To leave my house to my children and not my husband

333 replies

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:24

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

OP posts:
Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 09:11

fuuuuckthis · 06/03/2026 08:40

OP I think you are getting an unfair pasting for asking on MN, plenty of other people do this while waiting to see a lawyer, doctor, whatever and it's fine...I suspect it's because you have revealed you're well off!

Anyway, from reading your posts I would say death should be less of a concern to you than divorce. And I know you'll not be thinking you'll get divorced, but no one ever does!

Absolutely - my bad!! But don’t worry, some of the utterly unhinged responses and assumptions have made me laugh.

OP posts:
90sTrifle · 06/03/2026 09:11

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 09:05

He’s not annoyed at all - he knows the kids
come first for me. He has savings, investments and is provided for via a life insurance policy. He is not worried about him.

My concern as other posters have stated - if I don’t ensure this is done properly, is what could happen in the case of a remarriage. Imagine if he remarried and is then incapacitated in some way and forced to change the will away from my DC. It happens!

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You can leave the house to your DC and for the house to be sold within a certain timeframe.

Probate etc… takes about a year anyway, which gives your DH 12 months to get his ducks in a row and find somewhere else to live.

Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 09:09

GoldbergVariations · 06/03/2026 08:46

I suggest you take out a decent life insurance policy.

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This is sorted

OP posts:
Snowyowl99 · 06/03/2026 09:07

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:24

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

DOes he have any children OP? If you feel ge has contributed why don't for example leave 75 % to your children, 25% to his children or charity of his choice . But he has right to live in house and then it's sold as per above.

Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 09:07

Swiftie1878 · 06/03/2026 08:39

Wow (again). You actually sound like quite a nasty person now - the more you post, the worse it sounds.
Good luck to you all.

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How! Saying my husband is happy and not poor in his own right and that my priority is to ensure my kids will be provided for if I die during their childhood?! Honestly this place is wild.

OP posts:
Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 09:05

90sTrifle · 06/03/2026 09:01

So minus the deposit he’s paid for 50% of the house. He should be annoyed that you want to give his half to your kids without any thought to him.

Do you actually love him?

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He’s not annoyed at all - he knows the kids
come first for me. He has savings, investments and is provided for via a life insurance policy. He is not worried about him.

My concern as other posters have stated - if I don’t ensure this is done properly, is what could happen in the case of a remarriage. Imagine if he remarried and is then incapacitated in some way and forced to change the will away from my DC. It happens!

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 06/03/2026 09:04

Snowyowl99 · 06/03/2026 09:03

Would be hard to contest...any money ge paid would be looked upon as rent

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Incorrect. They’re married.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/03/2026 09:04

HairyToity · 06/03/2026 07:36

My uncle did this, he gave his wife a life interest in his house but on her death it reverts to his children. She can also sell the house and buy another one, but will still be owned by his children.

A GM did this, too. She left the house to my (only child) DF, but with the proviso that her 2nd husband (an old friend she’d married in her 80s) could live there for as long as he wanted to.

Snowyowl99 · 06/03/2026 09:03

goz · 06/03/2026 07:33

Edit due to your recent comment.

Honestly it’s very likely could contest you leaving 100% of the property to your children if the home was bought during the marriage and he has paid half of all the home related bills during that time.

You’ll need to consult a lawyer to draw up your will imo.

Edited

Would be hard to contest...any money ge paid would be looked upon as rent

Quokka2 · 06/03/2026 09:03

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 06/03/2026 07:26

Best you consult a lawyer, rather than Mumsnet. What do you want to happen if you die first? For him to be booted out? You could give him a life interest so that he can live there until death.

Life interest is the way to go, then your children can do what they want with the property

Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 09:01

Snowyowl99 · 06/03/2026 09:01

Leave the house to your children with a right to your husband to live in it til death .

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No, I want the house to go towards ensuring their upbringing is provided for.

OP posts:
90sTrifle · 06/03/2026 09:01

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:34

No I didn’t say that, he has contributed to bills, not to the deposit

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So minus the deposit he’s paid for 50% of the house. He should be annoyed that you want to give his half to your kids without any thought to him.

Do you actually love him?

Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 09:01

tara66 · 06/03/2026 09:00

OP do you know the well known case of actor Nigel Havers?
Long ago but his wife died and left her house to her 2 sons.
He went to court and got the house claiming she had not provided for him.
He later married a very rich women. The sons got nothing.

Exactly!

OP posts:
Snowyowl99 · 06/03/2026 09:01

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:24

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

Leave the house to your children with a right to your husband to live in it til death .

Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 09:00

venus7 · 06/03/2026 08:52

Things can change; people have accidents and illness.
Other than that, it's his home. It would be very stressful to move house immediately following a spouses death. Did he know your plans when you married? It doesn't seem like an equal marriage; more he helps with household income.

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I don’t need help with household income

OP posts:
tara66 · 06/03/2026 09:00

OP do you know the well known case of actor Nigel Havers?
Long ago but his wife died and left her house to her 2 sons.
He went to court and got the house claiming she had not provided for him.
He later married a very rich women. The sons got nothing.

Tiedbutchorestodo · 06/03/2026 09:00

I’m in a second marriage with a child from
a previous and understand the need to ensure some of your wealth goes to your child. I was told by a solicitor that any will effectively has to pass a “divorce test” so you need to leave him the equivalent to what he’d get in a divorce - ie 50% of assets made during the marriage.

The deposit you put in before marriage would not be necessarily an asset of the marriage but equity gained in the marriage would be.

Original poster
Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 08:59

DeftWasp · 06/03/2026 08:55

That could be sorted now by a mutual will, if he leaves his share to the children in a mutual will, as they have agreed, then that is how it will be after the hypothetical death of the OP

Mutual wills cannot be changed after the death of the first party, and are not cancelled by re-marriage.

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This is useful information, thanks you. I will raise it with the lawyer next week.

OP posts:
WouldRatherBeOnaBeach · 06/03/2026 08:58

Marwoodsbigbreak · 06/03/2026 07:27

I’m not an expert but I think if you divorce, he is entitled to a share of marital assets, including the house. That’s a huge risk you took when marrying him.

You can will the house to DC, but will that make DH homeless? Or does he have his own assets?

Not if you have the words ‘clean break’ in the divorce agreement.

HappyFace2025 · 06/03/2026 08:56

Womaninhouse17 · 06/03/2026 08:02

I'm divorced and would never marry again for the same reason. My house will go to my DC. My ex remarried and I doubt my DC will see anything of his house if his wife outlives him.

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Same here. Fortunately DP and I are in complete agreement. In any case, he has his own home separately from me which is filled to his own DC,
OP in your situation I agree with pp. See a solicitor.

DeftWasp · 06/03/2026 08:55

sittingonabeach · 06/03/2026 08:46

Who will he leave everything to?

That could be sorted now by a mutual will, if he leaves his share to the children in a mutual will, as they have agreed, then that is how it will be after the hypothetical death of the OP

Mutual wills cannot be changed after the death of the first party, and are not cancelled by re-marriage.

NetZeroZealot · 06/03/2026 08:53

If the will has been written correctly it is perfectly fine to do this.

Typically you might choose to leave your DH a life interest in the house so that he could continue to live there but it would go to your kids when he dies. Or he could live there for xx years or until your kids reach a certain age. But you don’t have to do this.

Get a lawyer.

DeftWasp · 06/03/2026 08:53

The current situation is he legally owns half the house, not being on the title is irrelevant, he is paying towards the mortgage and other costs, living there and married to the OP - as far as the OP states there are no deeds of trust ring fencing anything, so he has an interest of 50%.

He would do well appending a note to the title, which he can do.

venus7 · 06/03/2026 08:52

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:33

My husband earns six figures and is self sufficient. This isn’t about his ability to provide for himself of which he’s more than capable.

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Things can change; people have accidents and illness.
Other than that, it's his home. It would be very stressful to move house immediately following a spouses death. Did he know your plans when you married? It doesn't seem like an equal marriage; more he helps with household income.

Ifeellikeateenageragain · 06/03/2026 08:49

Moiraroseee · 06/03/2026 07:34

No I didn’t say that, he has contributed to bills, not to the deposit

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But he's paying towards the mortgage payments?