To leave my house to my children and not my husband

The kids will be under 18. I doubt they’ll personally be doing much turfing!

But he has said that he doesn’t mind and he’s happy for it to go to the children. She’s not doing this behind his back!

I don't really think it's ok. Although, I am going to leave my house to my children and not to any future partner, but I think it is different if you bought the house together, whether or not you supplied the deposit. I don't think who supplied the deposit is necessarily a factor, especially if you didn't ring fence it at the time.
If it was other way round, how would you feel?

"Obviously"?

That is not what your posts have said prior to this. This is the first mention you have made of allowing your DH to stay in the house after your death.

Without a will saying otherwise, then your DH can be turned out of the house by your children very quickly indeed.

My uncle was in a similar situation to you but they were divorcing. He died before they divorced and due to them being married still and things being bitter she took the house and never gave anything to the kids. Known them for nearly 20 years and had a six figure job so didn’t need the money. Please see a lawyer. It seems some people are saying because you are married it’s 50/50 and others are saying a will trumps it. Get legal advice!

If he has his own money then seems he is happy to walk away

so as long as wishes are written in a will and dh door doesn’t contest it - then op kids will be ok

"...not to the deposit"

That bit doesn't matter.

As everybody else has already said, go and speak to a solicitor who has experience in this field. From what you have described of your situation it sounds as though your DH does indeed have a beneficial interest in the property.

What’s bonkers is that no one is reading the OP’s posts. She has said that he is happy for the house to go to her children.

And he will have a right to a percentage of the equity in the house because he's been paying the mortgage with OP for years.

She cannot expect him to walk away with nothing other than his '6 figure income'.

This thread is bonkers.

She has already said a couple of times that she’s spoken to her husband and he’s happy for the property to go to her children.

Are you including mortgage payments, council tax, insurance, house maintenance in the “contribution to bills”. If so he has made quite a considerable monetary investment in the property and its current value. If you removed your deposit from the current value I think there is a strong argument for him to have a claim on 50% of the value.

Does he have children from a previous relationship? That might make a difference to how he views the ownership of the property. You do need to talk both to a solicitor and to your husband about what happens to the property.

So if the worst happened. The house gets sold and kids go and live with ex the dad who will have the money from
house , in trust , to pay for things kids need

is that right @Moiraroseee

meanwhile your dh can live in the house till gets sold , plus he will be looking for his own house

@Moiraroseee I had left the thread as couldn’t see what you wanted.

now I see what is happening. My Q is, if you say you could cover the mortgage payments yourself, why on earth are you allowing to pay towards the mortgage ( it’s is paid from joint account) abd not merely draw up a rental agreement and charge him rent ( from joint account) which you put in a separate account and it is therefore your money and your property remains yours without his money being attached to it?

I appreciate you said you are not an estate planner but I fail to understand this of a higher earner married to another high earner and the owner of property wanting it to be their and their alone both on property deed and in reality.

i guess that’s why you are now on MN needing to untangle yourself.

you never mentioned of he owns a property elsewhere. At the very least, ensure he has his own house by buying another property ( just know being a landlord is not easy, unless you can afford to leave it empty),

it is why women wanting to safeguard their properties are given specific advice ( did you seek it) before they bring a man in their house, no matter how high earning both parties are as you are neatly proving here. That practical advice applies to all women dead set on their asset remaining theirs.

so where was this advice or this search for advice before you moved him into your home?

The only situation that gives more certainty is a contract. Wills, property deeds all can be challenged by anyone with an interest- as you said, he can very well outlive you for 30 years and his circumstances might change ( fallen on hard time).

your kids also sound very young. What are their ages? Does he have kids?

Financial advisers are not necessarily the first source for these situations, a fully qualified Estate planning practitioner who deals with these issues, or a solicitor who specialises in Estate Planning, as many do not. Likewise, if I encounter financial issues with my clients, they are always referred to an IFA.

Do seek legal advice, but I don't think it is that complicated. If you are the only named owner of the house then you can leave it to whomever you want, including your kids. Your DH could challenge the will but is unlikely to be successful if you paid the entire deposit and the mortgage was in your name.

As others have said, should you divorce then he would have a claim over your assets and could end up with half the house.

So if it ever looks like a divorce is on the cards, I would be very careful standing by the side of any cliffs or railway tracks with any of your kids. 😂

I wondered this, 'legal advice' from randoms who will tell you what they think is correct but is probably totally wrong.🤔

If I had the slightest idea dh was going to this I would think about divorcing him.
Thankfully we aren't in this situation, but I think he should be given a time limit to stay after your death at least if not a life long concern.

If you go to a reputable
solicitor they will do the estate planning with you - your will can be written to last a lifetime of eventualities - I’d do this - it’s what I did - my husband has died and I don’t need to update my Will because it was written with longevity in mind

But the whole point is that the OP wants the house money to go to her children so they can be financially looked after while in their father’s care after her death. If her husband stays in it until he dies, the money is still locked into the house.

If he has helped pay mortgage he has a claim proportionate to that

So where is he going to live when you die?

Most people would leave the house to their kids but let their husband live in it until they die.

You can write a will to do this easily.

Well if dh knows this then shouldn’t be an issue but need to have written in will and a side note saying why house going to kids esp if he has paid to the mortgage

Financial advisers are not necessarily the first source for these situations, a fully qualified estate planning practictioner who deals with these issues, or a solicitor who specialises in estste planning, as many do not. Likewise, if I encounter financial issues with my clients, they are always referred to an IFA.

So he didn't pay for the deposit but has been paying half of bills (or part?) since living there so that means unless it's demarcated in some written document that he's also paying towards mortgage payments indirectly. He has a claim on the property because you're married but even more so because he's contributed financially. It would have made more sense for him to have his own property and rent it out or not get married but you say he's happy with all this so just get solicitor's advice and the appropriate will/trust set up. Bear in mind that all this can change in the future.

Have but read the whole thread, but wanted to say as others well worth talking to a lawyer to ensure you’re set up as you wish to be without relying on your husband’s kindness / obligation to your kids after your death. My friend’s step-dad, who had raised her and her sister from a young age, feel to pieces after the death of their mum and got very quickly into a new relationship. The girls had no claim to their childhood house and the new partner quickly moved them out, one into very hard financial circumstances. Everyone stunned and a very sad situation. So do get it iron-clad in your own will what you want to happen for your kids.