To leave my house to my children and not my husband

So you’re going to boot out your husband despite the fact they’re covered? If money is so comfortable you’re able to prioritise inheritance over basic living for your life partner, I would (together) buy a second property for your husband should the worse happen, it’s all very well saying you’d change your will down the line but something could happen in the meantime (even after your death before you know) to inhibit his income and his income might not keep up with property prices.

Its been years and years since i wrote my will (well, a solicitor wrote it for me).

I also soley own my house and I'm leaving it to the dc. However dh has a right to live in it till they are 25, or 10 years after i die (i dont recall the terms exactly). My thinking was that i didn't want them to turn 18 and suddenly be sitting on a huge sum of cash which they may be tempted to party away in hedonistic 18 year old style. Also, i think there were some implications with inheritance tax by doing it this way.

It was all sorted years and years ago when i was full of post patrum hormones and sleep deprivation so I'd advise getting a proper lawyer to write a thorough will and cover all potential eventualities - my will covers endless scenarios from a) i die, b) me and dh die, c) we all get wiped out in a car crash, d) one of my dc has died but has left a grandchild, etc. So its hopefully pretty future proof.

I’m assuming here that your Dc are not adults? If that’s the case, where would they live if you died tomorrow? Would your DH not be allowed to have them live with him in the house you now live in? This would be the least disruptive to your DC.

Bit of a drip feed here but if I've understood it right, you have children who aren't your husband's, and if you died before your children were grown up, you would want the house or the money from the sale of the house, to go to their upkeep, rather than you husband who has his own income.

This seems fair. I don't think a lot of commenters have picked up that you children are still children in the age sense. Definitely consult a solicitor, there are ways to do this.

I'm divorced and would never marry again for the same reason. My house will go to my DC. My ex remarried and I doubt my DC will see anything of his house if his wife outlives him.

Wow.

Is your will before or after marriage? Getting married invalidates any previous will.

Look marriage is a contract and the top of a good chain contract that by doing so invalidates a whole lot of other stuff the minute you sign it

as your husband who lives in the marital property he does have certain rights - here the fact it is only your name on it, he hasn’t lost anything due to children in terms of career progression and he earns 6 figures is all good about not being anywhere near 50/50. But yes he could have a claim

honest question why marry him if you wanted this to all be separate?

Indeed. Someone smart enough to be a higher earner married to another high earner who they've already discussed it with and who agrees with the plan

but somehow they need to come on MN and ask

right

My aunt has done this, she was a widow who remarried when she had grown up children.

The house was hers and her will allows for him to remain in it for a period of up to 3 years as long as he is unmarried. He can’t live there with another woman. I think there is a clause about upkeep and bills etc. All arranged with lawyers.

She is protective of her finances and keeping them for her children, and this was all discussed with her husband who is aware and agrees. He has his own independent wealth that I’d imagine he has protected for his children too.

So I would imagine it’s possible for you to do this but you must openly discuss it with your DH, it shouldn’t be a shock to him and it would be useful I suspect for you to discuss the underlying reasons too. You also need to consider the practicalities; who pays the bills, who does the upkeep, when is it sold etc.

Exactly. People don't seem to realise the legal implications of getting married. A lot of people seem more interested in the dress, the parties, the cake, the hen do etc than the fact that it's a legal process which affects their status, rights and assets.

He might earn very well now, but what happens if he becomes ill or disabled and has to stop working and earning? He might not be able to 'take care of himself' forrever.

If he is paying half the mortgage, that does change things. I would be thinking more about in the event of divorce than death tbh.

With your two high incomes it’s surprising you don’t have a financial advisor or someone helping you with estate planning. Everyone I know with your income and assets does. It would pay off many times over for you.

You don’t believe your husband would do that?!

The home is considered a marital asset now as you are both living in it and contributing to it. You can make a will but it's not at all certain that it will be followed. As others have said, you need legal help with this. Once you married you basically gave away autonomy over your finances and you gambled with your childrens inheritance.

No it doesn't.

You cannot possibly know for certain if his currently "brilliant income" would enable him to live independently after your death. He could lose his job and be unable to get another one. He could become permanently disabled through illness or accident. Any number of scenarios could happen that could rapidly change his perspective on whether or not he is willing to walk away from a house and home that was a marital asset that he has a claim to.