To want to change my name

@Friendlygingercat I got a statutory declaration form from a law stationers. Simply stated that I was changing my name and would henceforth be known as XX and got my GP to witness it. I think I paid £5 for him to do so

It’s actually free now if you follow the link further up, no need to get anyone professional to sign, just two friends or neighbours or whoever. I know it’s too late for you, but I’m keen on spreading the news that it’s free and easy now.

Should add that I only changed my surname. I just chose a name I liked from my grandmothers side of the family. It has a French sound and spelling that is quite distinctive. No employer ever asked me what I did before my degree so it was a good time to reinvent myself.

I never really liked my surname, So I changed it in the 1980s when I went to uni as a mature student. Unis did nto check identities so they just accepted who you said you were. My degree was in my new name as were my masters and doctorate.

I got a statutory declaration form from a law stationers. Simply stated that I was changing my name and would henceforth be known as XX and got my GP to witness it. I think I paid £5 for him to do so. I wrote to my bank, tax, etc to announce that I had changed my name. I also got a passport in the new name simply by sending my statutory declaration up. Doing it this way is called changing your name BY USAGE and is completely legal so long as you are not doing it for a frauulent purpose.I dont know if its so simple nowadays.

I did this (also with the conditions you have mentioned) and love my new name. I took my husbands surname after many years of marriage but changed my first name by altering it slightly. Takes a long time for people to get used to but I moved to a new area after I’d done it which helped the bedding in process.

I love my new name and even though it was tonnes of hassle, it was worth it.

I don't think the name change will achieve what you want. However if you really want to change something and people already call you the nickname then do a deed poll for first name only and keep the certificate somewhere safe. You don't need to change any paperwork until you're ready, but it might help to know the certificate is there if you really want to see the new name on your bank card or driving license :)
You could also start introducing yourself as the nickname to new people and ask your close friends and family to just use that and drop proper name.

I would really leave the surname alone for now.

I’d absolutely begin using your chosen name as frequently as you can, among old friends, when making new friends, in the workplace etc: if you’re planning to formally change it then you’ll be asking people to use it, so you may as well begin now; and ultimately it will give you the opportunity to work out how you feel about living with any negative connotations such as people assuming you’re trans or non-binary, and how you respond to those assumptions as they arise.

Personally I wouldn’t change both of my names but I don’t think you’re unreasonable to do it. It’s your name you can do whatever you want. If people are bothered by it then that’s their problem to deal with.

I would do it.
People change their name for many reasons. Nobody bats an eye if a woman changes her name to a man’s surname. If people are nosey just say it’s a family name.

So you just want to upset everybody - to what end exactly? If the name you want to use is a nickname anyway, then just use it - it’s a lot less bother than changing your name on your bank account, passport, driving licence, house deeds etc etc.

I changed mine when I was in my 30s. Not my surname as I did change to DHs when we married but my first name. Like you OP it was a nickname type so people already knew of it/me as it so it was quite an easy transition to make. I hated my first name but I do have complex PTSD stemming from childhood abuse so the connection with that was strong. I have never looked back. I never told my parents, NC for obvious reasons and I actually didn’t tell my elderly relatives either as it was easier all round to accept them using old name.

I think I'd be too overwhelmed at the thought of amount of paperwork I'd have to do to change everything to the new name to do this tbh. I guess it would depend how much I hated my name. Can you have a nickname?

I think you need to ask yourself exactly why you might not be able to wait.
What purpose exactly, does the name change serve? Are there other less adminstratively inconvenient ways [e.g. seriously increased use of existing nickname maybe] to achieve that aim?
Can't help feeling you may end up disappointed if you act too soon.

I changed my first name and surname. About 20 years ago. My "old" names pop up over and over on various systems, with old acquaintances, on spam phone calls. I do change it when I spot it, but it seems impossible to sort it completely. How would you feel about that?

After such a long time it's down to 2/3 times a year but I still find it annoying.

I changed my first and surname in my early thirties as I had hated both all my life and it was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. I’m so sad I didn’t do it sooner

I know someone who did this. She thought her name was “common” and misidentified her as a boomer when she’s Gen X. Let’s say it was Sharon. She got to mid forties and changed her name to something far more modern and Millennial. Let’s say Beatrice. She thinks it makes her sound classier.

Her DH refuses to acknowledge her as anything but Sharon, but she’s happy 🤷‍♀️

Do your children have your husband's surname? If so, I can't see the problem with changing yours to that. Itay not be the name that you'd choose, but it means something.

I think there's a risk of essentially "wherever you go, there you are".

You'll still be the same person, same experiences, just different name.

I like pp's suggestion of setting it aside for a year and then if you still want to, doing it then.

If you go ahead with this, REMEMBER IT IS FREE.

https://freedeedpoll.org.uk

Can you try out the new name for a while?
How old are your children? Can you talk to them about wanting to change your name?
Your husband loves you, so I'm sure he will support you whatever you decide.
I wish you all the best!

CPTSD for many years inspired me to change my surname to one that I respected historically and felt empowered by. It cut both of my abusive parents out completely and I’ve never looked back. My name is my own, for my own reasons plus homage to a historical figure I see as an idol. I hated my middle name so removed that too. Over ten years now. My DD has her “chosen name” in school as my surname and can’t wait to change it officially the minute she turns 16. I care what my name is, and I care that my daughter can’t wait to change hers to mine (absent father of several years, currently in prison). She’s 14 and we’ve had no contact with him for over 6 years. The day she turns 16 I’ll have her deed poll application ready. It really is something to feel safety and value with your own name that you’ve chosen for yourself after a background of abuse. Neither of us will ever regret it.

Its like a tattoo - you love the idea and you want it now. But you have to think about whether you'll feel the same in 10 years.
Make an agreement with yourself that you'll do it this month next year. Set a reminder in your phone with that chosen name.
Then, write a list of all the tasks that would be required, all the documents you would need to update, organisations you will notify. I'm sure you could find some comprehensive lists on trans forums. Save the list and add a link to the list to your calendar reminder.
Then, tell yourself to enjoy this last year of being firstname surname, and no more thinking about new name until you get that reminder.
If in year you still like the name enough to do all the tasks, do it. But if you still want to change your name, but no longer like the name you chose, then imagine how annoyed you'd have been to do all that work and still be unhappy.