My DB has been separated from his STBXW for around five years. They’re in the process of divorcing, which has been a slow process as their finances are quite complicated and neither of them has been in a rush. It’s been an amicable process and they communicate well about their DD. My DN is in year 12, lives with her mum but spends lots of time with my DB and has a great relationship with both of them.
DB called me this evening to say that he’s just received a letter from the CMS regarding a claim which has been lodged by his STBXW. They’ve never been through the CMS before and she hadn’t mentioned she was putting a claim in. Of course she’s entitled to, but he’s baffled as to why, so I said I’d see if MN could help us understand.
He’s always paid significantly more than his obligation (over 3x more), regularly without fail each month, plus paying school fees (with a commitment for university too) and bigger ticket items e.g. he paid 100% for a new kitchen when required a couple of years ago, pays for car maintenance etc. His STBXW and DN live in their house whilst he is in a rented place – again, he’s not complaining as he’s waiting to sort out the divorce before he buys, but I genuinely think he is being generous (as he should be!) to look after his DD.
So… he asked for a sense check on why she might be going via the CMS, given that it would result in a significantly smaller payment than he makes now, and just as his DD is close to reaching 18/leaving school. But I’m baffled too!
I’ve only lived in the UK on and off for quite a long time, so I don’t know her very well personally but this seems out of character. There doesn’t seem to have been any falling out or specific incident that he can think of. And there doesn’t seem to be any advantage for anyone. He is really keen to make things right (and will of course respond to the CMS quickly and won't reduce payments anyway, unless she wants him to!?) so any insight wise MNers can give would be amazing.