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AIBU?

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Original poster

How to cope with getting ugly

107 replies

doggirl4 · 05/03/2026 21:17

Im nearly 40, over the past few years I’ve really noticed my looks going. I’ve never been a stunner but I was fairly attractive when younger. Now I can see myself fading and it’s things I can’t do a lot about (without cosmetic surgery) like my face really sagging and deep wrinkles. My skin tone always looks grey, my hair has always been shit but is now even thinner and flatter. I have no sense of style and hate seeing photos of myself. I’m about 11 stone so a bit overweight but not massively so for my height.

I know this is ageing but I feel really sad about it. I don’t want to sound shallow I just want to feel happy and confident in my own skin. Has anyone else felt like this?

OP posts:
Flamingojune · 05/03/2026 21:42

When you are 80 you will look back on your 40 year old self and think you are beautiful

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 05/03/2026 21:35

I swear by weights sessions at the gymn or online

Catza · 05/03/2026 21:34

Not really. Yes. I will never be 20 again and yes, sometimes I look at my face and think "huh, I will never be 20 again" but I would never call myself ugly! I have a big and beautiful life and my face reflects that - age spots are from lovely summer days spent paddle boarding and hiking, wrinkles around my eyes are from laughing with my friends. Life is for living, not for analysing how you look in the mirror.

likelysuspect · 05/03/2026 21:30

Dont worry, as you get even older and you get menopause dry eye, your eyesight goes so you wont be able to even see all that!

NavyNorris · 05/03/2026 21:28

I'm the same age as you and feel exactly the same, I could have written this exact post.

I wish I had some advice but I don't really... Every time I get dressed up I think "oh you can't polish a turd" 🤣

I have lost some weight recently so I just focus on trying to dress well, have good posture, eat well and take care of my skin and hair as much as I can (I'd love something done to my face as my cheeks are looking a bit droopy after weight loss but can't afford surgery now).

I guess just focus on being happy and working on the things you CAN control- diet, clothing etc.

I know aging is a privilege and we shouldn't care about wrinkles and our changing appearance but it is a bit shit isn't it?!

Alittlebitofthebauble · 05/03/2026 21:24

Hi op, it should help with your skin too, but liver is great for your mood and contains so many essential nutrients. I know what you mean though, I've been through some bereavements and am also mid-thirties now and have noticed myself visibly aging over the past few years, especially around the mouth and a new line seemed to appear around my eyes almost overnight!

I don't have much more advice, aside from looking into improving your intake of fatty fish, eggs, meat and things like that. Plus ensuring you have good quality sleep at night. Easier said then done I know!

SunnyRedSnail · 05/03/2026 21:23

Beauty is from inside.

Be happy within your own skin and others will find you attractive.

Stop worrying about what you look like. Sagging skin and wrinkles are normal. Start doing more stuff that makes you smile.