How to cope with getting ugly

OP, style is something you can do something about! Do you look at the style and beauty boards? Read magazines? Are you stuck in a rut?

The style and beauty folk here are largely great. Start a thread about your size and shape and what you normally wear, give a budget, and people will dive in with ideas. You can then pick and choose. See you over there ;-) Fashion can be fun, whatever age or size!

I get this, people always say lower than they think so she likely thought late forties, last people look within five years of their age.

freezing wrinkles doesn’t make you looo younger, it is supposed to make you looo good for your age. What is more youthful is a healthy weight and toned figure , no tum or wobbly bum, no bingo wings or double chins. Looking toned and fit always makes people think you look younger, as does healthy bright skin, due to a good diet, minimal make up, the masking foundation is ageing, and healthy shiny hair in good condition and colour.

for me, people always look surprised when I say my age, and I want to look good for my age, not like I’m trying to be younger by having a frozen face with fillers.

It's difficult, OP. I have a very busy and happy life, but I can't help feel sad sometimes at the way I've aged.

I still like to make an effort with my clothes and stay fit and slim. My face is a lot cause but I do what I can with make-up and skincare. I'd never get surgery or filler/botox, because although I don't love my face these days, I love myself and I'm much more than a saggy face. I may not look like I did up until my mid 30s, but I like myself much more than I did then and I think I'm a better person than I was then.

This is strange! If you're 52 and someone thought you were 40, then that's fabulous.

I'm 56. I had a neck lift, face lift and upper and lower bleph when I was 52. It's one of the best things I've ever done. I feel like me again. But it's still obvious (I think) that I'm middle aged. I mean, no one ever guesses my age, but I just assume that I look 50's ish, but without the eye bags and turkey neck! And for me, that's a good result.

Laughs even more at 72!

Op I feel exactly the same. I think it's just a bit of a shock when you get to this kind of age and suddenly see your face changing more visibly. I sometimes look at my friends of a similar age and think how old they look and then realise I'm exactly the same! I'm just trying to accept that I Will never look 25 again and make the best of what I have 😂

Stop drinking- even if you're not a big drinker. Everything especially your skin will thank you for it- now and later.

yes, that's exactly what's she saying. HTH 😂

You're basically saying all 'old' people are ugly?

I’d also not use words like ugly about yourself, it means extremely unattractive or unpleasant to look at. It betrays a real self of self hatred and self disgust, and that repulsion is unlikely to be felt by people looking at you. More just you looking at you.

I don’t see ageing as something which makes us ugly. Even if your lifestyle has led to more extreme ageing than would be expected at your age.

so I would be kinder to yourself. I see people on here often refer to themselves as ugly and then attack others when they question it, it always make me feel s little sad for them.

I’m 45 and planning a facelift at 50 as I can’t have injectables. I can’t wait. It’s taken the pressure off me now and I feel I can just exist and be happy and even though I don’t look great I know at 50 I’ve got something planned to rejuvenate myself facially. All I need to do now is keep up with fitness and stay slim and be happy

runs to aldi

Top tip!!!

Sorry to hijack but when you say 'the Korean stuff' any brands you'd recommend?

I am always happy to splurge on my appearance. Only have one life, one body, one face. Make the best of it I say!

Do the botox I reckon. Splash out. And get some good make up.

Absolutely this

How much time do you spend outdoors? I notice among the people I know and meet at work that it's the people who get outside every day who look the healthiest. Their skin tends to look better, rosy cheeked and glowing. The dog and horse owners always look amazing at all ages and no matter how many wrinkles.

I am 54 and my skin looks so much healthier since I've changed jobs and now walk to work every day. 40 is very young to feel the way you do.

Someone who looks healthy always look good, no matter their age. Have the Botox if it's going to make you feel better but I would say try to work on it from the inside out and it will show on your face.

A healthy perspective on ageing probably also makes a difference. Having lost close relatives and friends in their 50's and early 60's, I just feel blessed to be here. I make sure I get plenty of sleep and hydration and take my vitamins and minerals. For most of the last year, I have felt 80 years old due to a chronic condition but that has lifted now and I feel 30 again.

Good luck, OP.

This is all about diet. An example is too much sugar and not enough protein destroys collagen, which results in sagging skin and causes thinning hair that can be brittle or even loss.

id clean up your diet, reduce alcohol, it can be full of sugar. Even if not it significantly damages skin and hair as it depletes nutrients, causes dehyrdration and inflammation,

so reduce alcohol, try to cut it out to give your body a reset, eat a clean and healthy diet, lots of protein and vegetables, fruit, salads, yoghurt etc, and drink 2-3 litres of water a day,

it is not an over night fix, but it will improve your skin and hair, over time, no matter what products you use, it really is the truth that it starts from the inside and the only way to have healthy skin and hair is to eat a healthy diet and remove toxins,

Agreed. I find that the exercise lifts my mood apart from anything else.

laughs at age 65

I wouldn’t be bothered at all. That’s not ugly. That’s just not 21. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have a facial disfigurement do to cancer. A scar on my face, a chunk of my head missing, a tumour visibly growing in my neck, plus visible surgical scars, probably about 20cm long. I looked absolutely fucked. Plus I might die. If it wasn’t for the might die bit, I wouldn’t give a shit about the rest of it! There are much worse things than having older skin and looking a bit more tired. It won’t stop you going on holiday, or pursuing a new career in your 40s, or enjoying your hobby or seeing your kids grow up. You have to put it in perspective really.

At the moment I look like shit. I'm battling with fatigue and depression. I'm low in iron but not low enough for anaemia prescription iron.
I'm not getting enough restful sleep.
My skin is dull, I have bags under my eyes, my hair is flat and I just generally don't shine at the moment.
9 months ago before pregnancy did a number on my body I was glowing I smiled, I had energy, I felt confident. Things were good. My body is doing its best but at this moment in time I'm more of a battered old run around doing it best to stay on the road than a shiny vintage ferrari

I would look inwardly and maybe get some routine bloods to see if there is something a miss

OP, start seriously looking at your shape and the clothes that suit it.
Use the internet to figure out what works.
Talk to friends, ask for frank advice.
Once you land on a style that works for you and your life, you can use it as a uniform guide and look for inexpensive clothes that can be mixed and matched.

I swear by Aldi's skincare for the past 20 years.
The serums and moisturisers are in expensive and can be slapped on.
The Caviar rage, particularly the nightcream is brilliant.
As are thir serums, the cheapest one is my go to.
I also used their hair thickening sprays which I felt really helped.

I don't believe you have to spend big money on skincare, look at the dupes that so many supermarkets do.

The incky znd ordinary ranges are great too.
Definitely watch your alcohol intake as lovely as it is, it dulls the skin.

Invest seriously in yourself and you will feel better.
You ARE worth it.
Everything you do during this decade will also see benefits in the next.

Totally agree with this.

I think your mindset is your issue here, not your looks.