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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pillow, pillows, PILLOWS!

137 replies

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 05/03/2026 19:31

Am I being unreasonable in that I can never find the perfect pillow!

Even when I sleep somewhere, and look at the exact pillow, and buy the same thing, it never seems to be the same, so I’m asking for help, can anyone hit me with your perfect pillow suggestions?

… and yes, I understand they are individual! But I’m looking for something that’s plump but soft, and keeps it shape.

Also, does anybody else really struggle to get the perfect pillow?

OP posts:
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11
user593 · 05/03/2026 20:07

Devon Duvets wool pillows. You can remove the wool filling to get the perfect shape. Ours hold their shape very well. They have BOGOF from time to time.

CombatBarbie · 05/03/2026 20:04

Bamboo pillows i think fit your scope. I swopped all ours after kids kept stealing mine. Initially bought to deal with trauma sweats (similar to menopause night sweats)

They wash great too.

Jamfirstnotcream · 05/03/2026 20:04

BatsInHibernation · 05/03/2026 19:57

It's madness isn't it. Women are also surprised when I tell them it's hormonal. We are taught almost nothing about our own bodies and what to expect.

Show quote history

I think its just minimised as normal aches and pains
Lets face it if it was men there would be a massive hoo-ha

Shinyandnew1 · 05/03/2026 20:03

The Dunlopillo is the only pillow worth having. I had one as a teenager that I took to university with me from my parents and it lasted so well, I haven’t that long replaced it! I’ve bought one for DH and the kids recently and my parents still use them. I think they are sold as Relyon now. They are so comfortable.

Honestly , I wouldn’t waste money on any others.

Bluehead · 05/03/2026 19:59

goz · 05/03/2026 19:42

The dunlopillo is the perfect pillow.

Agree. I’ve just bought a cheaper version and it is not quite as good. So get the proper ones. Worth the cost, honestly.

JaneIves · 05/03/2026 19:59

Cervical pillow you say….. Well that’s in my Amazon basket, thanks!

Pleasealexa · 05/03/2026 19:58

somanychristmaslights · 05/03/2026 19:56

We bought the premier inn pillows. DH has the firm and I have the soft. https://www.premierinnathome.com/premier-inn-luxury-pillows.html

I wonder if these might work for me, what is soft Vs firm? I think I want soft but with support

BatsInHibernation · 05/03/2026 19:57

Jamfirstnotcream · 05/03/2026 19:45

Menopausal shoulder syndrome

I dont know a single woman my age without neck and shoulder pain .

Show quote history

It's madness isn't it. Women are also surprised when I tell them it's hormonal. We are taught almost nothing about our own bodies and what to expect.

NailsHairNipsHeels · 05/03/2026 19:56

I struggle with chronic neck pain and also sleep like I’ve been decapitated according to DP
the comfiest pillows I’ve found are the premier inn firm pillows
I also have feather pillows from Amazon for the nights that I need a bit more support they let you sink in but sort of mould into the curves of my neck
I just don’t get on with memory foam pillows I think I move too much through the night

Ophir · 05/03/2026 19:55

These. These are amazing. The answer to my quest

Pillow, pillows, PILLOWS!
LucyLoo1972 · 05/03/2026 19:55

Jamfirstnotcream · 05/03/2026 19:45

Menopausal shoulder syndrome

I dont know a single woman my age without neck and shoulder pain .

Show quote history

never knew this was part of it all

Winederlust · 05/03/2026 19:55

My spare room is full of discarded pillows in the hunt for one which relieves my shoulder and neck pain (another perimenopausal side sleeper).
Didn't rate the cervical one I tried - I find memory foam too firm.
My current attempt is a wool filled pillow. It has adjustable filling and wool is naturally temperature regulating. So far so good (although only 2 nights in). Am now considering a wool duvet in an attempt to tackle the night sweats!

OrdinarySloth · 05/03/2026 19:53

I can never get the right pillow! I want something really, really firm but also exactly the right height so my neck doesn’t hurt. Every so often I find one that’s perfect but within a year it’s awful again

muddyford · 05/03/2026 19:52

My under pillow is firm microfibre, the top one is a White Company feather one. Gives me support and comfort.

BatsInHibernation · 05/03/2026 19:52

Smallwins · 05/03/2026 19:44

I didn't realise crunchy neck was a peri symptom, that will be another thing I add to my list when I go to drs to talk hrt

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Less estrogen equals less collagen and less lubrication in the joints. Your gp though, unless interested in the menopause, might dismiss your crunchy neck as 'other'. Go armed with the symptoms they are expecting for menopause.
Also - if you are over 45 be really clear 'I'm experiencing debilitating perimenopause symptoms, I want to try HRT. If that's not what I need, then I won't feel better and I'll give it back'.
Be firm, especially if other things have been ruled out already.

Tulipvase · 05/03/2026 19:52

I too feel your pain. Closest I’ve found is wool pillow. Just the one. It’s getting a bit old though now.

RufusLumleyImStandingNsoul · 05/03/2026 19:52

One thing I do know ,its a bloody expensive quest.
Watching with interest.

Andtheworldwentwhite · 05/03/2026 19:49

I’m currently drowning in pillows I have tried. One makes my back hurt , another makes my neck hurt. I’m going on the hunt again at the weekend. Probably just to add yet another expensive pillow to my mound of pillows.

FreddysFingers · 05/03/2026 19:46

I bought some shredded memory foam filled pillows which are soft yet keep their shape, might be worth a go?

https://amzn.eu/d/09wbeqZE

Jamfirstnotcream · 05/03/2026 19:45

Smallwins · 05/03/2026 19:44

I didn't realise crunchy neck was a peri symptom, that will be another thing I add to my list when I go to drs to talk hrt

Show quote history

Menopausal shoulder syndrome

I dont know a single woman my age without neck and shoulder pain .

Grandmashorty · 05/03/2026 19:45

Like @goz only ever had Dunlopillo pillows

grumpyandiknowit · 05/03/2026 19:44

I bought a Mitre pillow after seeing them recommended on here and it is indeed great. Mine is not a feather one though so I can't confirm if they are as good but it is a serious brand with different weights.

Some of them have different firmness though in the same model (look at the options menu - soft/firm) so you need to work out what is your personal preference which can also depend on your typical sleeping position.

You can call them to discuss what you want and I found them very helpful.

https://www.mitrelinen.co.uk/bedroom/pillows//a33-2

Smallwins · 05/03/2026 19:44

BatsInHibernation · 05/03/2026 19:41

Oh I have such a crunchy perimenopausal neck and shoulder pain! I shall scuttle off down this cervical pillow rabbit hole immediately.

Show quote history

I didn't realise crunchy neck was a peri symptom, that will be another thing I add to my list when I go to drs to talk hrt