If you won 10k

It be joint here. However you not married so you can go either joint or individual and there's no right or wrong.

Depends where the funds came from to buy the ticket... If joint funds bought the ticket, the winnings are joint. If personal funds bought the ticket, the winnings belong to the buyer.

Ignoring his win, how did you plan to finance the once in a lifetime trip? Considering you booked leave and told your child you were going and you didn't know your partner was going to win 10k presumably you had a plan to pay for this trip. Surely when you agreed to do it you must have suggested how you were going to pay for it? So I can see this is a different issue completely as it was irrelevant to the win.

I do think the fact that he wants to go on a lads holiday says it all though and that along with not wanting to get married suggests he isn't that into you and wanting a relationship.

Sorry OP, but this man doesn’t want to marry you. He’s not even attempting to show that he cares about you with him prioritising taking his friends on holiday instead of his lovely family.

I’d be quietly building my finances to leave this situation, as he will only get worse and each of these slights will erode your self-esteem just that little bit more.

I think it would depend how it was won.and if there are related gambling debts

A huge sign to the demise of our relationship was ‘my’used on both of our sides. ‘Ours’ should be default

Is he paying for his friends? That’s really shitty that he doesn’t prioritise his own family. Tell him to get lost and move in with his friends.

I would but Dh would say it was mine.
If dh won he would share it with me and ds1 and 2.
How do I know for sure?
Because a few years ago he got a bonus of 30k. He said thats 10 k each, 10 for me and 10 each for the boys. When I asked him what about him, dh said he has everything he needs.
My mum gifts me, ds's , my siblings 5k every few years and dh tells me to go and enjoy it.

Personally I think he should treat himself more.

It woukd depends how the rest of your money is managed. When I was married with DC, it would definitely have been family money.

Now I have a long term DP, who I don't live with, it would be his/mine, but I expect we'd still discuss how best to enjoy it together.

In our house it would be joint money. I would use some of it for starting up savings for the children and maybe a family holiday.

You have much bigger problems than the 10k.

He really doesn't care about you very much.

To answer your original question, it would be joint money, but my DH would probably insist I use some of it for something for myself.

If it arise from something self funded that the other didn’t want to fund from joint money (lotto, bonds etc) then it’s one persons not joint winnings. Most decent people, would treat the other (holiday, luxury item etc) but it doesn’t have to mean 50/50. We have our own premium bond accounts, I accept we have equal chances to win but they aren’t a pooled pot they are funded separately. That said we both have similar financial status and I may feel different as a SAHM. I feel the same way about inheritance, it belongs to the person it was gifted to.

I think he is being really selfish. I would reconsider if I wanted to marry such a selfish person and consider what he thinks of me. He didnt even want to spend it on the kids. That is unforgivable.

If i won £10,000 i would have say, £1000 fun money then spend the rest probably on DD going to uni so joint spend or if something needed replacing in the house like boiler, roof...

It’s the individuals but I’d hope for some sort of treat like maybe a weekend away

I think this would tell me everything I needed to know. If my DP decided that a 10k win meant he could holiday with mates as opposed to with me and family, not want to secure the wedding or otherwise do something to cement our union, I'd let him and plan my exit side left. You dont factor in his priorities. What you need to decide is if thats ok with you.

Honestly, the additional information about how he's having a holiday with the boys and now can't do a pre mentioned family holiday that you've already told your child about- unforgivable.

OP he's telling you loud and clear what he thinks of your relationship and your position in his life......listen to him!

He sounds an utter child. Maybe time to send him back to his parents. He’s selfish and pushing boundaries to see how far he can push you.

If it's 'free' money e.g. inheritance or a work bonus, then I'd treat it as joint.

If it's from gambling e.g. lotto or premium bonds, then the gambler keeps £2k of the winnings and the other £8k is treated as joint. This is on the basis that the gambler is paying for the bets past and future and anything left of the £2k would be for a treat.

Obviously if both partners are gambling e.g. £5/week coming out of a joint account on the lotto and they won £10k together, then it's treated as joint.

This is unforgivable
treating you so badly but then letting down your child, despicable and selfish behaviour.
I’m not sure I could forgive this or remain with a man this selfish

We have a rule in this house (not married) that if its lotto we split, if its any on bonds we keep to ourselves so I presume any other winnings would be up to the winner to do with what they want. But to be honest, anything that would be won even on bonds would go to improving something for the both of us like the house, or into the kitty..... probably.

Neither of us have ever won anything to test this theory. I am far more generous than my other half so who knows.

It would definitely be joint money in our house. We’d probably allocate an amount each which we can spend on what ever either of us wants and then decide together what to do with the rest of it. For us most of it would probably go towards a house deposit/associated fees.

Thank you! I couldn’t believe it for days 😁. I treated myself to a vintage Prada handbag and the rest has gone into savings (being sensible).

In our house it would be joint winnings. DH actually won £1000 this month on “his” premium bonds, but he would only ever consider it joint winnings.

I actually did win 10k last month! Never won anything like that before. I’m married but we have separate finances, no children. DH earns about 6 times what I do, so does pay for most of the household stuff, though we are 50/50 on the mortgage payments. I wanted to give him half, but he wanted me to feel the benefit of it, so I gave him 3k. If the situation was reversed I know he would have given me half.

In your situation, with a child and the holiday coming up, it sounds like he’s being really tight and you are right to feel hurt.