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AIBU?

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Kids excluded from free trip

235 replies

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 16:16

Some of the kids at my dc’s school were selected to be allowed to go on an outward bound/activity trip where they had a great time staying in huts, having campfires, petting animals and doing some exciting and amusing team activities and sport.

The activity was free, and it wasn’t advertised to all parents in the year - only those who had been picked.

I only found out about it when I saw the school newsletter saying what a truly fabulous time the kids had had, and about 3 pages of photos showing them all havi nt fun. The school newsletter then banged on about how amazing it was that the school was to be able to provide this trip totally free to the kids who went, because the outward bound centre provided facilities for free so the school only had to pay for food and the coach to transport all the kids. Coaches are NOT cheap!

last month the school came begging for contributions to buy classroom equipment and I gave the school £50 not realising they were spaffing money on trips my dc wasn’t invited to!

Aibu to feel this is sharp practice by the school and unfair?

OP posts:
KTheGrey · 05/03/2026 17:33

Where I teach schools have to fund all extra
curriculars and not allowed to ask for contributions so all trips are cheap nearly free.

Eastmeetswest1 · 05/03/2026 17:31

Our school sends youngsters to Outward Bound for 5 days but the school have no say in the number of students as I know it is our Council (education dept ?) that hire Outward Bound for the duration and allocate x no. of youngsters from several schools in the Council catchment to fill the whole centre. The youngsters get to meet the other schools while there and interact.. Our school pay nothing towards it as youngsters asked to pay their transport there themselves. A wonderful opportunity.

As an aside, and what a previous poster said, I used to work at a remote hostel. Older youngsters from a large city would come for a week to stay - many had never been out the city, seen the beach / water / hill walked etc. The change in these young people over a week (language included) was amazing. They will never forget the experience.

NoEggs · 05/03/2026 17:30

I’m slightly concerned that your donating to school building fund is seen as a semi direct investment in your child. It’s actually a charitable donation to the school building fund and if yours is anything like the majority they are all in great need. Government money for buildings in particular is risible.

Hereforthecommentz · 05/03/2026 17:30

I work in a school, I concur with previous posters, it was most likely paid for by PP funding for PP kids. I wouldn't begrudge kids having fun. They can't take everyone and school budgets are up shits creek. I'd like to add after seeing your other posts, the school are unlikely to advertise it was selecting PP kids. No one wants kids stigmatised the same with SEN.

WhatsConfusingYouIsTheNatureOfMyGame · 05/03/2026 17:30

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:28

Yes I do agree that coursework trips are provided for free and that’s not handed oht evenly.

This trip didn’t seem very necessary or educational - just fun.

I am probably being unreasonable and happy to be told that.

Do they still do coursework trips? I thought coursework had mostly gone. Was thinking of that as an example of something that took the piss a bit! But yeah, not so much if they did need to be there.

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:28

WhatsConfusingYouIsTheNatureOfMyGame · 05/03/2026 17:25

I would see if you can edit your OP, because there's going to be dozens more posts about how this is probably pupil premium.

From your update, I'd say it still depends on whether it was something to do with relative disadvantage or not. If it was, there may well have been other sources of funding. Probably not so if it were a rewards trip, or taking the GCSE geography class away to spend a few hours studying erosion and the rest of it doing fun activities in the Welsh hills.

Yes I do agree that coursework trips are provided for free and that’s not handed oht evenly.

This trip didn’t seem very necessary or educational - just fun.

I am probably being unreasonable and happy to be told that.

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 05/03/2026 17:27

SoSoLong · 05/03/2026 17:26

Schools get SEN funding to spend on SEN kids, so that's fair. Now if the selection criteria was something stupid like 100% attendance and paid from the core school budget, that's different.

I was going to say, the only thing I can think of that I'd be against is it as an award for 100% attendance.

SoSoLong · 05/03/2026 17:26

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:21

Ok let’s take that example. Why should rich SEN kids get a free coach trip?

Schools get SEN funding to spend on SEN kids, so that's fair. Now if the selection criteria was something stupid like 100% attendance and paid from the core school budget, that's different.

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:26

@JustAnotherWhinger according to the newsletter nothing mentioned about pupil premium. And stated all the school had to pay for was the coach so we were able to make this free.

I guess though they may have sub-sub-selected so that only the pupil premium kids in the sub group were invited. That thought makes me feel a bit better!

I wouldn’t usually have minded at all it just struck a nerve since it was hot on the heels of another begging letter for money, the “can we kindly remind you we have only reached 15% of our fundraising target and please , if you weren’t able to donate last month please.”

OP posts:
WhatsConfusingYouIsTheNatureOfMyGame · 05/03/2026 17:25

I would see if you can edit your OP, because there's going to be dozens more posts about how this is probably pupil premium.

From your update, I'd say it still depends on whether it was something to do with relative disadvantage or not. If it was, there may well have been other sources of funding. Probably not so if it were a rewards trip, or taking the GCSE geography class away to spend a few hours studying erosion and the rest of it doing fun activities in the Welsh hills.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 05/03/2026 17:25

The school my children went to would take a small group of children to the local theme park for the day. The criteria varied from year to year. Some years it was children with additional needs, some years it was a reward for exceptional effort, and I wouldn't be surprised if some years it was names pulled out of a hat. I had five children in the school for four years each and only one went on the trip. It was never expected and never complained about when some went and others didn't.

JustSawJohnny · 05/03/2026 17:25

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:21

Ok let’s take that example. Why should rich SEN kids get a free coach trip?

Why shouldn't they?

And how do you know it was funded by the school?

NoEggs · 05/03/2026 17:25

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:21

Ok let’s take that example. Why should rich SEN kids get a free coach trip?

Because it is funded by EHCP’s or a specific SEN pot of cash?

ProudCat · 05/03/2026 17:25

Free trips in many schools are based on a couple of criteria:

  1. vulnerable children who don't normally get the nice stuff, could be young carers, could be kids who have specific SEN which means they're often marginalised.
  2. kids with 100% attendance
  3. kids with highest positive points

Is it either of these things? If so, no, I don't have a problem with vulnerable kids or kids who actually show up every day and do their best getting a reward.

YourWildAmberSloth · 05/03/2026 17:24

So you know what the selection criteria was, and your children didn't qualify. Without knowing what it was its hard to say if you are being unreasonable or not.

JustSawJohnny · 05/03/2026 17:24

WhatYouWearing · 05/03/2026 17:22

That’s a strong assumption. No school my children ever went to knew just how hard up I was as a single parent.

Edited

They very much make it their business now.

Part of the stats they are judged on is the progression of children who qualify for pupil premium.

Kirbert2 · 05/03/2026 17:24

WhatYouWearing · 05/03/2026 17:22

That’s a strong assumption. No school my children ever went to knew just how hard up I was as a single parent.

Edited

But I'm assuming you didn't donate £50 to the school? Hard up people can't afford to do that.

User79853257976 · 05/03/2026 17:23

They probably used pupil premium funding.

JustSawJohnny · 05/03/2026 17:23

Your kid cannot be excluded from something they didn't qualify for in the first place.

My son goes to an all male grammar school. recently there was an opportunity for a couple of kids to attend a weekend of Maths at Cambridge Uni, all expenses paid. It looked fantastic and lots of the kids wanted to go, including DS.

Of the two who were chosen, one is from a single parent family and lives in a high rise in a local city. The other fled the war in Ukraine.

Disappointing for some? A bit, BUT I can absolutely see the school's reasoning.

I think most people are happy for kids who are used to getting very little or who have been through something awful to get the odd opportunity thrown their way.

WhatYouWearing · 05/03/2026 17:22

Brewtiful · 05/03/2026 16:48

Your child wasn't excluded they simply didn't meet the criteria for this trip. The fact you think it's complaint worthy shows how privileged you and your child are.

That’s a strong assumption. No school my children ever went to knew just how hard up I was as a single parent.

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:21

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/03/2026 17:14

I think you need to gather more information- it could be pupil premium funding that paid for it for those children in receipt of it. Or could be for children with SEN.

Won’t just be some random children excluding yours.

Then you can decide what you think.

You can see why they wouldn’t have published in the newsletter if it’s for children in receipt of pp or SEN funding.

Ok let’s take that example. Why should rich SEN kids get a free coach trip?

OP posts:
AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:20

@Isekaied you’re right - we have stuff like that too, but parents do usually pay costs (unless pupil premium then free, obviously fine).

There are events that not everyone can go on, such as sports teams, and it evens out (so obviously girls don’t go on a boys football trip, but they could apply to go on a girls football trip).

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 05/03/2026 17:19

AbiGabi · 05/03/2026 17:15

Perhaps I should have mentioned in the OP - the criteria for going on the trip was nothing to do with financial hardship or pupil premium. The newsletter did disclose the selection criteria but I don’t want to mention here as it could be outing.

Yes the cost of the actual activities had some funding from a generous third party behind it but it was not mentioned and I’m fine that the school therefore restricted that. But usually the school asks parents to contribute to costs of the trip - the coach - and if you are on pupil premium or have a hardship case then you don’t have to pay, the school pays for you.

The school paid for the coach and then simultaneously has been asking us for money to spend on the s

I make donations to the school happy for the funds to be used sensibly.

But this group of kids could be from any walk of life - rich or poor - so why weren’t the rich ones asked to pay for the cost of the coach?

We do have an above average income but to the person who said we get a free education - no we don’t. My dh and I pay a large amount in taxes and on top of that I always contribute when the school comes begging. Of course I don’t have to pay extra, but clearly the school is lacking basic equipment and can’t afford to replace so I am happy to help as I know otherwise teachers often end up forking out themselves.

If the kids weren’t all pupil premium or funded kids then it’s highly likely at least some parents were asked to contribute to the bus.

also depending on what the funding was it may have come with travel. DS’s school recently had a trip some kids went on. The residential part was funded by the centre and the bus was funded by another company as part of it

julieh1968 · 05/03/2026 17:17

YANBU - yes the children who benefitted may not otherwise have had this opportunity, but why not offer to all at a charge and then allow those in need to attend free?

CaseClosedWineOpened · 05/03/2026 17:17

People commenting about transparency - school policies around SEND and PP spending strategy, as well as various other statutory policies, are all published on each school’s website. It may well be that the published policies already reference how the school selects certain children for certain trips, it’s just that no one (except the school’s governors - I am one!) reads those policies.