To feel smothered and annoyed by love interest

You seem to be calling multiple versions of the advice to part ways as being 'silly/ too complicated'. But she's really full on and you aren't enjoying it. As you say she doesn't take notice of your boundaries.

Part ways amicably and say you're happy to remain friends. There's nothing wrong with seeing when something isn't going to work.

Just seen your update.... 10 calls a day is insane.... I wouldn't even give her the boundaries chat, I'd just say it's too much and you aren't compatible and don't want a relationship. I'd bet a weeks wages she won't accept this, will want to meet and talk about it, suggest staying friends, want to meet again for closure, will call and cry and say she'll change, make you feel gulity for all she's done for you so far... and it will end up escalating until you have to block her!

Then just see her once or twice a week then! Why are you agreeing to spend 4 solid days with her if you don't want this?
She doesn't get to decide how you spend all your time when the kids are away. I suspect you're not being clear with her at all. Although, I also think she's not going to hear you easily, and is going to become more and more controlling and manipulative.
As others have said, you're probably not compatible at all.

I can confirm. Had to block someone who simultaneously claimed to have ended up homeless AND having a "massive stroke" while blaming me for rejecting them because I found someone better. End it while you still can, OP.

You can't stand the way she tries to manage the relationship though, and you don't want the same things out of being together, so sadly however lovely she is there doesn't seem to be any chance it can work out.

Agree with the poster above who said she sounds kind she has a PD. There’ll be no doing things by halves with this woman, you’ll have to
end it.

The cons waaaaay over ride the pro's tbh. Those kinds of behaviours only get worse in relationships not better

You can't 'cool off' or 'take a step back' with somebody like that. She'll absolutely lose the plot - threats of self harm, bombarding you with messages, accusations of cheating, sudden serious illness/injuries/homelessness - she'll throw everything she can at you to scare you into staying.

And then she'll most likely get angry.

End it, 'it's not working out', block and breathe.

Dear Freda,
You are a lovely woman but as you know, I am not interested in having a relationship at the moment. I hope you find someone who is able to give you the relationship you deserve. I need to be single.
Much love, Gloria.

Is her name Nadia? She sounds scary and obsessive. Dump.

The forced meeting of parents would be the deal breaker for me. She sounds very controlling

Just sack her off

I actually think the psycho jumping on the car was her.
She sounds batshit.

I'd have been off at the first flag 🚩

And all this ⏫️ 100%.

You like (some aspects of) her but you clearly also want her to be someone she is not, and I think you probably know, from past experience, that people don't change so if her attachment style is grating on you now in these early stages, you will soon be at each other's throats. You are clearly not compatible - as everyone here has pointed out - but you seem to be resisting the conclusion - also obvious on the basis of your post - that you need to cut your losses.

This 💯 ....she isn't listening and every time you back down you are reinforcing her belief that persistence pays dividends. I bet if you are honest part of the reason you haven't had a chat / ended it is because you are dreading her reaction and the drama that will accompany it.

Either give her a firm boundary, one day a week, a phone call twice a week and peace and quier the rest of the time and see if she can stick to it or just end it now!

YANBU to be annoyed

YABU to think the two of you are compatible

You’re obviously not well matched and looking for different things. Just nicely but firmly tell her that it’s not working for you and wish her well. If she starts carrying on then.block her on everything. Job done in 20 minutes.

She sounds like a stalker in the making. There are so many red flags, most of which boil down to one thing - her regarding you as a thin, not a person. A possession that she is eager to secure and never let out of her sight/control.

By the way a lot of the things on the pro list are stealth cons with people like this. Qualities like “good listener” “remembers details” “helpful and generous” can also be traits straight from the manipulators handbook. You think she is genuinely interested but her brain is scanning for information to learn what makes you tick. At the same time she is keen to make herself indispensable. I’m not saying that’s the case because only you can sense check that.

My advice in ending it by text would be to remain firm and unambiguous or you will end up back and forth. Stress that the dynamic is not what you are looking for and there is no point continuing to see each other. Don’t say “you need more space or time or whatever” because it leaves a tiny bit of hope that you will change your mind. This is an “it’s not me it’s you” problem.

She's acting like you're in a quite intense relationship, too intense for me. I don't really see how it could work out

If you're having to have difficult and awkward conversations about The State of The Relationship (That You Don't Even Want To Be In) after one month of dating, it really would be better just to knock it on the head now.

One month! I've got stuff in the bottom of the fridge that's older than that and in better condition.

She's not going to suddenly chill out - this is who she is. I couldn't deal with the clinginess either, you need to end things because you're not compatible.

I flet overwhelmed just reading that. I'd end it whilst it's early days. This isn't the person to be with when your working on holding your own boundaries.