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AIBU?

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Original poster

Rude Neighbour

62 replies

SpottyDottyBanana · 05/03/2026 12:21

Next door neighbour had their second child in December.

When I saw my neighbour I congratulated her and said let me know when I can pop round we’ve got a present for you.

didn’t hear anything so next time I seen her I mentioned it again.

We did hear anything so I mentioned this to our neighbours on the other said, they said the same happened to them so they just past the present over.

It is now March and still nothing, neighbour thinks we should pass the present over like they did, I think parents are being rude.

AIBU to return the gift and get my money back?

OP posts:
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GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 06/03/2026 10:48

I don't understand what you want. You saw her - surely the normal thing to have done is say 'can you hang on there a sec, I've got a present for you' and nip and get it and hand it over.

If you're expecting to be invited into a relative stranger's house, and presumably made a cup of tea or whatever, thats a bit of an imposition.

If you want a chat over tea and biscuits, invite her to you!

FordExplorer · 06/03/2026 10:12

youalright · 05/03/2026 13:00

Until you can be arsed to come back and tell us if you are some random neighbour or actual friends who socialise together its impossible to say

Bloody hell are you always this rude to other people? What on earth has OP done to you?

dentalflosser · 06/03/2026 09:34

You sound very entitled OP. It’s lovely that you were thoughtful and bought a gift for the baby as that is a very kind gesture.
However, getting pissy that you’ve not been able to pop round to give it is not right.
The last thing I wanted to do with my newborn is to have an immaculately clean house and be available for random visitors.
I wanted to have a nap, express breast milk, have a shower, have uninterrupted cuddle time with my baby and chill out.
Leave the gift on the doorstep with a card but don’t automatically expect that you will be invited in.

BudgetBuster · 06/03/2026 09:20

KarriTreeSullivan · 06/03/2026 06:01

😄 no, but just across the water in rural Wales! We have a lot of friends in Ireland and there are definitely some similarities, it's usually the back/side door too, never, ever the front door 😄

Show quote history

Ireland here... and yes I often have close friends arrive in the door 😂

KarriTreeSullivan · 06/03/2026 06:01

90sTrifle · 05/03/2026 19:14

Did you live in Ireland by any chance?

Show quote history

😄 no, but just across the water in rural Wales! We have a lot of friends in Ireland and there are definitely some similarities, it's usually the back/side door too, never, ever the front door 😄

Angelic999 · 05/03/2026 19:20

I'd feel super rude saying "can I have my present now?" Just go round fgs

90sTrifle · 05/03/2026 19:14

KarriTreeSullivan · 05/03/2026 14:09

What a weird situation. When I had my babies, people I knew very well and people I knew vaguely would just drop in, knock on the door, and come and say hi, all sorts of randoms and their kids popped by (where I live people you know very well literally just walk in the house sometimes without waiting for the door to be answered!).

I imagine she's exhausted, her house might be a tip and the thought of inviting someone over and therefore having to tidy up properly prepare tea and snacks is just something she can't manage. If she's already a friend, you could knock on the door, acknowledge this and offer to pop in and make her a cup of tea, cuddle the baby while she has a nap. But it's quite weird to expect her to give you an official invite for you to present her with a present!

Edited

Did you live in Ireland by any chance?

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 05/03/2026 17:55

Ick to expecting entry to the house.

Just drop the gift at the door and leave them in peace.

Fingalscave · 05/03/2026 17:47

I think the spirit of a new baby gift is to welcome the baby and let the family know you're happy for them. It shouldn't be thought of as a way of gaining access to the house at what can be a very tiring and difficult time for the new parents.

TulipCat · 05/03/2026 17:23

She's probably exhausted, and not particularly fussed about either a visit from a neighbour or a baby gift. It's weird to build up the delivery like this - just knock on the door and drop it off, or leave it in the porch. You don't need an appointment, it's just another thing for a tired parent to have to think about.

YourWildAmberSloth · 05/03/2026 17:18

Do they have your number, or are you expecting them to knock on the door and say you can bring your present over now? Its a bit awkward.

Friendlygingercat · 05/03/2026 17:15

Regardless of whether they have children or not some peole just want to be private and keep themselves to themselves. Its not rud eor spiteful. Just a preference. I would hand over the present briefly with a card and then leave the neighbour for a bit. Dont push things.

wherearethesnacks · 05/03/2026 16:34

You are being odd and intrusive expecting to be invited in to hand over the gift. Do it on the doorstep and don't be bothering them.

Restlessdreams1994 · 05/03/2026 16:08

Why didn’t you just give her the present there and then?

Insisting that she contacts you in order to arrange a time for you to bring your gift round is weird and intrusive. It implies the gift is conditional on an invitation.

Spirallingdownwards · 05/03/2026 16:05

Yes you are indeed a rude neighbour

BMW6 · 05/03/2026 16:05

Why are you being so nosey and intrusive? Weird as fuck.

fatphalange · 05/03/2026 16:02

You’ve been expecting your neighbour to contact you and tell you ‘I’m ready to receive your present now’? You’re being weird! She is probably thinking, ‘how odd of them to tell me they’ve bought my baby a present and then not give us it?’
Anyone else would have just handed over the present during the initial interaction, or popped over, knocked and said ‘congrats here’s a present from us’. Ffs

houseofisms · 05/03/2026 15:55

When mine were babies, my house was a tip, I was a state and spent most of my time with a boob hanging out and puke stains down my clothes. I flippin HATED people coming to my house apart from close friends and family. The thought of someone coming in would have meant a full house tidy which is the last thing you want with a baby!

traceybeakersbeaker · 05/03/2026 15:26

Can you call around and give us our pressie please? Cop yourself on and leave it on the doorstep. You can't invite yourself to someone's house. You are the rude one.

NoFiller · 05/03/2026 14:58

If you had actually intended it as a gift, you would have handed it over there and then, or rung the doorbell and handed it over.

Instead, you are demanding to go into their home.

You are correct that there is a Rude Neighbour in this story.

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 05/03/2026 14:26

It would be rude and weird of her to bang the wall/stand outside and shout 'give me the gift!'.
You shouldn't have asked repeatedly for an invitation into her house.

Sunshineclouds11 · 05/03/2026 14:17

I know your coming from a good place but I would hate my neighbours in my house 🙈
I would just give them a knock and pass it over.

KarriTreeSullivan · 05/03/2026 14:13

BigGra · 05/03/2026 13:46

I said let me know when I can pop round we’ve got a present for you

Ugh I’d hate it if someone left it to me to initiate receiving a gift.

‘ Hi neighbour, we’re ready to receive your gift now ‘ would be way to weird of a text for me to send.

Surely normal neighbourly exchange would be to call to the door, congratulate, hand over gift and wish them a good day.

Yes, that's the other thing too, she's probably got a million things on her sleep deprived mind right now and her neighbour is now expecting her to negotiate a strange social interaction and be the one to initiate a weird present giving session!

NewPinkJacket · 05/03/2026 14:12

Let's hope the present isn't a homemade lasagne 😬😁

crazeekat · 05/03/2026 14:11

Leave it on her door and pat yourself on the back of how good a person you are to buy a present for the sake of it and not expect one single thing back in return.