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AIBU?

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To cancel holiday with friend after what I found out?

355 replies

BrainyKraken · 04/03/2026 23:43

My DS is 14 and I'm a single mum, I have a close friend and he has a DD the same age. Her mum passed away when she was younger so i’d like to think I'm a good female role model. The DC get along well and we go on holiday all together once or twice a year.

A few weeks ago in the wash there was a piece of condom wrapper that had been washed, I asked DS and straight away I got “it isn't mine” I told him it isn't mine either and it can't be the cats and he then admitted it was his but he wasn't having sex with anyone he got them from school in a sex ed class. I believed him and I think I still do

However the thing that changes things is I found out yesterday that he is dating my friends DD, I found out by accident when looking through his phone I saw messages come through which suggested they were more than friends and DS confirmed it. We had a holiday planned at easter with them and I've told DS we cant go now and he got quite annoyed and said this is why he didn't want me to know because now they won't be treated normally. He's told me not to tell her dad, I told him I feel like he should know especially as he will want to know to reason for cancelling

WWYD? Cancel? If so tell friend the truth or? Any advice appreciated

OP posts:
NotnowMildrid · 04/03/2026 23:55

Go.
Keep an eye on them.
Have a lovely time.

IdaGlossop · 04/03/2026 23:53

Why would you cancel? I would want DS not to be so secretive. I would also ask him to ask the DD to tell her dad, saying that if she didn't, I would tell him myself. Have you agreed with him that you will look through his phone?

Bristolandlazy · 04/03/2026 23:51

I would go, chaperone them. These are all natural feelings at their age. Being a teenager is tough. Have fun , keep an eye on them.

Also condoms don't equal sex, I'm sure boys practise, are curious etc. I can remember reading the Tampax leaflet and being horrified/ fascinated by the diagram of how to insert them. We tell young people to use condoms, not fair to penalise them for using them.

Ohgoonthenanotheronefortheroad · 04/03/2026 23:50

Yes, as above. I would go but keep an eye on things.

notgettinganyyounger · 04/03/2026 23:47

I would go on the holiday.

Keep a close eye on the dc.

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