To cancel holiday with friend after what I found out?

Neither of them will be prosecuted.

They are the same age and there doesnt appear to be coercion or violence involved on either side. The authorities will not be interested and there will be no charges on either side.

https://www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/young-people-sex-and-law
"However, Home Office guidance is clear that there is no intention to prosecute teenagers under the age of 16 where both mutually agree and where they are of a similar age."

@BrainyKrakenThe cards need to be on the table and boundaries set and adhered to.
Respect them and they might even respect you back.
Have a great holiday!

Good for you checking your 14 yr olds phone. Nothing wrong with that, I'd stop at 16 though.
I wouldn't cancel the holiday, I would tell the girls dad, he is her dad after all.

Maybe the dad will decide to room with in with his dd if he has any concerns.

The issue is the phone -snooping you need to act as if you hadn’t
curiosity killed the cat
you can’t unlearn what you have found out I recommend that you don’t interfere further this doesn’t constitute enabling! Hopefully you have learned a valuable lesson
and preserving trust is the priority here!

Why would you not go? BTW if they are having sex, cancelling the holiday will not stop them doing it.

At least if he is, he appears to be using contraception.

So is he. Unless violence or coercion is involved neither is going to be prosecuted.

So is he. So why wouldn't she be prosecuted?

There would be no prosecution, unless there was clear evidence of coercion or lack of consent.

Tell the Dad they're dating and see what he thinks. I'd be tempted to cancel unless one of you wants to be on guard duty all night!

I think you're being naive if you think they aren't having sex. That excuse about the condom wrapper just sounds like BS.

I'd tell him that the dad needs to know and you can then decide about the holiday once you discuss it with him.

When I was doing my A-levels, way back in the 1960s, one of my classmates had become a father at 14. His spare time was somewhat restricted - his parents had agreed with the girl's that he was to share looking after the child, so that he spent half his evenings/weekends babysitting.

The dad is a close friend, you should be able to discuss this. I might hold back my suspicions that they were at it. I'd just say "did you know that DS and DD were seeing each other? It's sweet isn't it? But we ought to keep more of an eye on them during the holiday"

This place is mad sometimes. Of course it’s ok for the @BrainyKraken to keep an eye on her son’s phone: it’s responsible parenting.

And it is illegal and prosecutable to have sex with a child under 16. I’d be worried too.

I think I’d have to speak to the dad about my worries that they’re seeing each other and concerns about the holiday,

it’s not “sweet” as a pp said, they are far too young for any sort of sexual relationship, if that’s what is happening

I would absolutely not go, you suspect they’re in a relationship, your child is the male underage one. It’s too much of a risk for your son, if they end up in a happy couple situation then they can establish that in the local Starbucks.

I think cancelling the holiday is an overreaction. They are the same age, friends and now in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. That's nice for them both.
Just keep an eye on them !

And yet they do...

This ^

I would go. You can see what’s happening

I must admit I don’t ever check my child’s phone. But that’s you

also if he is having sec at least he’s having safe sex. I think it’s best to be open and discuss safe sex and make sure he’s using them correctly and explain the consequences etc.

14 year olds are not emotionally mature enough to be having sex.

I’d probably talk to the other dad OP.

You don’t just cancel a holiday and what ever you’re trying to prevent will happen anyway. Jesus Christ.

Yes, no hard evidence. 😁

OP, I wouldn’t cancel the holiday, but I absolutely would tell the Dad about the relationship between your DC. If you think they are having sex, maybe you need to talk to them about it - I agree with a previous poster that if it’s what they want to do, they will find a way. I do think it’s only fair, though, to tell the Dad about the relationship, so he can talk to his DD about it.

It'd be perfectly legal in Germany. I know this is the UK but I don't think it's a massive pearl clutcher as long as he doesn't get her pregnant.

You have no rock solid evidence that they are actually having sex

She's underage

@BrainyKraken

I'd still go. When you say 'sharing accommodations' exactly what does that mean? 4 bedrooms? (Yours, Dad, DS, DD) each having a room? If you are that concerned you can have one of the DC sleep in with one of the parents. But I think all I'd do is tell them the bedroom doors were to be open at night for 'bed checks'.

This was waaaay back in the day, but when we went to the beach house my mother made 'the boys' (DB and his friend) sleep in their room on the floor lol. 'The girls' (me and my friend) shared a bedroom. Silly really, since I wasn't interested in DB's friend and my friend wasn't interested in either of them.