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AIBU?

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Original poster

Scar tissue down below!! AIBU??

38 replies

Whathappeningg · 04/03/2026 22:24

I have scar tissue from when I had an episiotomy 12 years ago. It’s down near the opening, if that makes sense, and (tmi warning), it just kind of hangs there and I hate it. I had problems having sex after my first was born, due to pain from that area. I did somehow fall pregnant during one of these attempts and the midwives explained that it would be best to wait to repair the area after having my second. That way, if I tore or needed an episiotomy, it could all be done in one procedure.

However, I didn’t tear, so that didn’t happen. I the went to gynocology who said that it would be silly to try to remove the scar tissue as it could even result it worse scar tissue. At this point, with two young children, I gave up. And the pain during sex did subside and so things are fine.

But… I hate the appearance. I don’t know if there’s anything more I can do at this stage? I just feel embarrassed to even have it looked at again, when I’ve already shown the world and their aunt and got no further. I just wondered if anyone has any advice? AIBU to still be bothered by this?

OP posts:
Anomyone · 04/03/2026 22:45

I had that! Had, as in exactly as you describe, after my next child it magically was gone.
It didn't cause pain but did hang, and I never mentioned it to midwives or anything, but after next birth, also tore, and a much better repair fixed it.
I wouldn't put up with it, I found it annoying and if needed I would also have asked for help, it's probably a very easy fix.

Original poster
Whathappeningg · 04/03/2026 22:44

KimuraTan · 04/03/2026 22:41

Have you thought of going private? A cosmetic surgeon might be able to give you a review and an idea how to get this resolved?

Sadly this is not a viable option for me, financially. Maybe someday.

OP posts:
9YearsOfPain · 04/03/2026 22:44

Whathappeningg · 04/03/2026 22:42

My stitches were done by a student, overseen by a consultant. I regret that decision by me, but I’d just given birth. I’m not sure if I agreed to it ahead of time somewhere in my notes but I was certainly asked/told before it happened. Had I been older and wiser back then, I’d have said no.

Mine were done by a consultant, but she had cut downwards between the muscles instead of diagonally across the muscle. Muscles went into spasm and pulled apart, meaning the tissue could never fuse. I had Botox which helped, but was only allowed 3x which wasn’t long enough for it to heal fully. :(

Original poster
Whathappeningg · 04/03/2026 22:44

9YearsOfPain · 04/03/2026 22:41

Mine never healed. I was refused revision surgery and told to “grin and bear it”. It would split if I climbed too many stairs. I tore it 9 years after giving birth and it healed slightly better afterwards - to the point I can go for walks and climb stairs without crying. However, I still can’t have any form of penetrative sex and can’t have a smear test without tearing it. Almost 16 years on it still impacts me daily and I dread what menopause will do (atrophy).

I’d swap for yours in a heartbeat.

I’m so sorry!!! That’s awful. Is there any way you can complain about the decision to refuse you a revision?

OP posts:
9YearsOfPain · 04/03/2026 22:43

I got the same line (NHS and private) about it being too risky to remove that much scar/granulated tissue, especially as I’m prone to keloid scars.

Original poster
Whathappeningg · 04/03/2026 22:42

My stitches were done by a student, overseen by a consultant. I regret that decision by me, but I’d just given birth. I’m not sure if I agreed to it ahead of time somewhere in my notes but I was certainly asked/told before it happened. Had I been older and wiser back then, I’d have said no.

OP posts:
9YearsOfPain · 04/03/2026 22:41

Mine never healed. I was refused revision surgery and told to “grin and bear it”. It would split if I climbed too many stairs. I tore it 9 years after giving birth and it healed slightly better afterwards - to the point I can go for walks and climb stairs without crying. However, I still can’t have any form of penetrative sex and can’t have a smear test without tearing it. Almost 16 years on it still impacts me daily and I dread what menopause will do (atrophy).

I’d swap for yours in a heartbeat.

KimuraTan · 04/03/2026 22:41

Have you thought of going private? A cosmetic surgeon might be able to give you a review and an idea how to get this resolved?

OverlyFragrant · 04/03/2026 22:39

Whathappeningg · 04/03/2026 22:33

Sorry - I’m going to sound totally dense here, but is a ‘revision’ the procedure of fixing it? Or is it just asking for it to be looked at again?

Show quote history

It's the scar tissue being removed/revised.
I'm so fed up with our bodies being botched during birth and us being expected to just accept the mutilation.

Original poster
Whathappeningg · 04/03/2026 22:33

OverlyFragrant · 04/03/2026 22:31

Go and push for a revision.

Sorry - I’m going to sound totally dense here, but is a ‘revision’ the procedure of fixing it? Or is it just asking for it to be looked at again?

OP posts:
Original poster
Whathappeningg · 04/03/2026 22:33

Dinosweetpea · 04/03/2026 22:28

The appearance?! How often are you looking down there?! If it doesn't affect you physically I can't see why its such an issue.

If you had a big clump of scar tissue hanging from your vulva, you might feel different.

OP posts:
OverlyFragrant · 04/03/2026 22:31

Go and push for a revision.

Dinosweetpea · 04/03/2026 22:28

The appearance?! How often are you looking down there?! If it doesn't affect you physically I can't see why its such an issue.