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AIBU?

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If you got told you could be heard doing it you’d stop - right??

128 replies

Laskey · 04/03/2026 21:36

We were away with my cousin, her husband and her young kids. Two weeks in Florida. One week in a hotel, one week in a holiday home.

When we got to the air BnB it was very much needed after being crammed in a hotel room. It became very apparent however that the walls were paper thin. We heard everything from the open plan kitchen and diner.

The first time it happened dh and I jokingly said sounds like you had a good night. Just to acknowledge we could hear and give the hint to adjust behaviour. They were mortified. But did they stop? No. It was absolutely ridiculous. It’s not like we could hear screaming just the thud sound as the house was very flimsy even by American standards

AIBU in thinking cousin and her husband were being really inconsiderate. I think they’re trying to conceive baby number 4! I just wouldn’t have carried on if it were me.

OP posts:
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Thereissnowinmywellies · 06/03/2026 17:09

Jane143 · 06/03/2026 09:21

Obviously because it was embarrassing! And hopefully they’d stop or do it privately and quietly! Humans are not dogs that shag at every opportunity, we respect others on family holidays.

Some people do, especially a lot of men according to MN and not always with their wives and 'official' partners. They are no better than dogs sniffing around a lamp post but in this case it's anything remotely female under 40 with a pulse. Now that is gross behaviour imo.

Jane143 · 06/03/2026 09:21

Denim4ever · 05/03/2026 08:27

I can't help but wonder why you told them you could hear them.

Obviously because it was embarrassing! And hopefully they’d stop or do it privately and quietly! Humans are not dogs that shag at every opportunity, we respect others on family holidays.

Jane143 · 06/03/2026 09:19

Strawberrryfields · 05/03/2026 08:21

Yeah the first time is shit happens. But once they’d been made aware, it’s weird and inconsiderate to do it again. No one’s telling them not to have sex, just that there’s no need to include the whole house!
They’ve got 3 kids already surely they’ve mastered the art of quiet sex by now or the kids are probably fed up of hearing them too. If the bed is the problem then get off the bed and get creative.

Agreed. Knowing the headboard was noisy, they could get off the bed and do it on the floor quietly.

Jane143 · 06/03/2026 09:14

Driftingawaynow · 05/03/2026 00:09

Misread this as they can have sex on their anal holiday, which would seem reasonable

🤣🤣🤣

BauhausOfEliott · 05/03/2026 22:38

Jane143 · 05/03/2026 16:41

NOBODY unless they are perverted wants to hear anyone having sex. It’s gross

Oh, grow up ffs

batt3nb3rg · 05/03/2026 20:23

TinyRebel · 05/03/2026 09:10

Is announcing to people that you’re TTC a thing now?

It's always been a thing to talk about your family planning choices with other women who you're close to. I've notice some people of a certain age recently have been implying that anything they didn't do when they were young is some sort of modern newfangled trend. I don't have any close female friends but my sister-in-law and I certainly discuss trying to conceive/avoiding pregnancy quite frequently as this is the time of life we're in.

Riapia · 05/03/2026 20:02

If you got told you could be heard doing it you’d stop - right?

Why?

Thereissnowinmywellies · 05/03/2026 19:57

Jane143 · 05/03/2026 16:41

NOBODY unless they are perverted wants to hear anyone having sex. It’s gross

I don't want to hear it either but I can't get wound up about ir either. It's part of life,
as I've said before some people need to lighten up,
People watching porn must all be perverts then by your reckoning.
Personally I dislike porn or hearing someone else watching it but each to their own.

Overtheatlantic · 05/03/2026 19:12

Flamingojune · 05/03/2026 17:30

Surely a sperm is able to find an egg without waking up the neighbourhood

🤣🤣

dhomhnuill · 05/03/2026 18:23

Flamingojune · 05/03/2026 17:30

Surely a sperm is able to find an egg without waking up the neighbourhood

Did you read the op? It WASNT performative sex, it was an occassional thud of a headboard

Flamingojune · 05/03/2026 17:30

Surely a sperm is able to find an egg without waking up the neighbourhood

BustyLaRoux · 05/03/2026 17:01

BunnyLake · 05/03/2026 08:58

Who honestly would be trying to conceive while on holiday in a shared space? You’d get your own accommodation surely?

What a weird post!

Jane143 · 05/03/2026 16:41

Thereissnowinmywellies · 05/03/2026 16:00

Calling bullshit on this, so you are quiet as a mouse or don't have sex then head board doesn't ever once bang?😀
Many Brits ARE up tight about sex and nudity it's a fact of life, only have to read MN to know that. So...have said that I stick with the stiff upper lip and pearl clutching.

NOBODY unless they are perverted wants to hear anyone having sex. It’s gross

Jane143 · 05/03/2026 16:40

PheasantandAstronomers · 05/03/2026 00:00

Presumably they don’t realise you have some kind of sex phobia?

Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not a sex phobia to not want to hear people doing it. They could easily abstain or put a cushion behind headboard if they were that desperate to do it

Thereissnowinmywellies · 05/03/2026 16:00

Strawberrryfields · 05/03/2026 10:54

Sorry, calling bullshit on this being dismissed as a stiff upper lip or pearl clutching. No one’s begrudging them a sex life. It’s not the sex, it’s the lack of consideration and discretion when op is uncomfortable. Sex is normal and natural but should be kept between the people having it. Private doesn’t mean bad or wrong just private. I also close the door when I go to the toilet.

Is there no one you’d rather not hear having sex? Your parents, family members, adult children, best friend?
Do you have noisy sex yourself when staying with relatives?

Calling bullshit on this, so you are quiet as a mouse or don't have sex then head board doesn't ever once bang?😀
Many Brits ARE up tight about sex and nudity it's a fact of life, only have to read MN to know that. So...have said that I stick with the stiff upper lip and pearl clutching.

LadyVioletBridgerton · 05/03/2026 15:59

It would make me feel awkward. When DS was still at home we’d either have a quick bonk when he was at school (gotta love WFH) or do it when he was at rugby 😂

YiddlySquat · 05/03/2026 15:25

BunnyLake · 05/03/2026 08:58

Who honestly would be trying to conceive while on holiday in a shared space? You’d get your own accommodation surely?

I’m guessing people who are ovulating

A house with seperate bedrooms is not a shared space

BeaLola · 05/03/2026 13:51

if they sang in their sleep or had the radio on at nighttime so you could hear it through “the paper thin flimsy walls” would you complained about that ?

PheasantandAstronomers · 05/03/2026 13:40

KitsyWitsy · 05/03/2026 13:08

But did the OP not have sex herself the whole holiday?! 2 weeks?! Think my DP would combust...

Oh, the 'definitely no sex in a house with other adults in it' stance is probably a variant of the 'I never poo anywhere other than in my own bathroom -- the idea! Ew!' position.

KitsyWitsy · 05/03/2026 13:08

But did the OP not have sex herself the whole holiday?! 2 weeks?! Think my DP would combust...

The13thFairy · 05/03/2026 12:21

If I so much as suspected I could be heard, and if I had my druthers, I would roadblock the street.

Overtheatlantic · 05/03/2026 12:06

I think it’s gross and rude. I don’t want to hear anyone having sex. My pearls are firmly clutched on this matter, no apologies.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/03/2026 11:20

I assumed you meant full screams abs moans but honedtly, some headboard banging, I think you're being quite prissy tbh. Yes I'd have tried to move somewhere less bangy but I couldn't get upset over this. It's OK you and your husband want less sex if that's what's bothering you

WorstPaceScenario · 05/03/2026 11:19

Laskey · 04/03/2026 23:37

Well we mentioned it cause we’d hoped they’d take the hint

The hint to... not have sex in the privacy of their own bedroom while on holiday?

KimberleyClark · 05/03/2026 11:15

Tink3rbell30 · 04/03/2026 23:10

Yep, don't know how they can be in the mood while in such close proximity to other people who can hear.

That’s, possibly a turn on for them!