My neighbour keeps bringing us food - too much?

‘This would get on my nerves. I would also feel beholden and absolutely wouldn’t want to get into reciprocating with food or flowers or anything in any way. I’d probably stop answering the door a little less tbh, you’re not there to make her feel great.

All my neighbours are south east asian and i am inundated with food especially during Ramadan. It is given as a lovely gesture and is a cultural behaviour based on giving and sharing amd means your neighbours view you with respect and an extension of their family. Ive lived here forever but when my DP moved in he was confused and just didnt get it ( he does now and looks forward to it during Ramadan).
I always say thanks and send treats at xmas and Eid etc, we just sort of do it xxx

My sons were friends with a child at school who was of Pakistani descent and his mum used to bring food as a gift to me at school. Lovely gesture. It's something they do and they love to give and feed. Enjoy it, it's so lovely for them to include you.

Our Pakistan neighbours used to do this when I was little. It gave me a life long love of Aisan food.

I think we all have neighbour envy now ! 😂

Our neighbours are Filipino, we always know when we see the Gazebo going up in the garden and hear the Karaoke machine being tested that a large plate of food will soon appear.

Best neighbours I’ve ever had.

We had neighbours like this however not as frequently and they cooked Caribbean food (my favourite). I was so excited when they turned up and they became good friends of ours still to this day (we moved away)

lovely problem to have but I can understand it feels abit much if it’s weekly

We lived in Bradford for a year while saving to buy a house outright. Our next door neighbours were an Asian family and they used to do this, but not to this extent. I loved it! They were absolutely lovely and very generous. I said several times that we were thankful but it really wasn't necessary. They just said that they always cooked a lot and were happy to share! I think its a lovely gesture. I bought them some flowers and an assortment of Asian sweets when we moved. They were genuinely sad to see us go.

YABU. Be grateful and buy them a lovely non food related gift for Eid.

My neighbour sends food round regularly.
she always seems to know when I really can’t be bothered to cook.
During ramadan I can guarantee it’s at least twice a week.
I love her for it and she doesn’t expect anything back

They sound like gorgeous neighbours ❤️
Id honestly just take it , especially if you child is enjoying it .

Much like with any gift giving, I don't think giving gifts that are not wanted is actually a kindness.

It pains me to waste food but I'm coeliac so anything gifted is straight in the bin.

Not me! I'm happy with Gary next door who brings the bins in and Kev on the other side who clears our gutters when he does his.

They're good enough neighbours enough for me 😊

If it was daily I’d understand but it’s once a week. It is more common in Asian communities to, well, act like an actual community and help one another out. My Grandma lives next door to a Bangladeshi family and they are the same. They taught her how to cook saag aloo and chana masala which she now makes every week. In return, my Grandma takes challah around on a Friday. I think it’s genuinely lovely.

This happened to us when an Asian family moved nxt door. We were embarrassed because we never felt we could reciprocate. Every now and then we would buy a tin of sweets for the children, as there was no way my burnt offerings would have been palatable!!! Perhaps you could buy them a plant? Bake something?

I love this thread. It’s making me really nostalgic for my childhood, remembering my Italian grandad arriving at our house (we lived on the same street growing up) with his striped shopping bag containing an actual saucepan filled with pasta fasul.

I’d hate this.

My DP is Iranian and we used to live in flats where he loved taking food round to the neighbours, he was proud of my cooking and it was also a bit of a karma thing where he thought doing nice things and looking after people creates good energy and harmony for everyone.

I used to get a bit cross when we’d paid a fortune for a takeaway and I liked having leftovers but knew it made him happy (and the neighbours!) so just ordered extra.

We moved from a city to a small town and our neighbours now made it very clear they were confused and suspicious. We took some food to them from my mums wake and one neighbour said they didn’t want our charity and slammed the door which really hurt him.

He now takes in food to work to share with his colleagues and I occasionally get requests 😂. I’m happy to do it and like that my cooking is so appreciated.
DP does enjoy cooking and we cook together a lot but I l do the majority as I’m a better cook.

I think it's a Pakistani thing, I had neighbours like this growing up. They owned a restaurant and would gift us food every week, my mother once mentioned that the mangos they has given were lovely and she'd never had them before, later that week they gifted her a whole box of them 😄

They were really nice people

My neighbours are Korean and Greek and we get lots of nice food! The Korean neighbours its mainly when they've had an event or the mum in law comes to stay. The Greek family have a food business so it's almost every second day.

My oh is Filipino and it’s really quite common! When I first met him I thought him and his colleagues were feeders 😂 he explained he came from a district where they were poor and went to school without food so to have food is a luxury they want to share. Even if I’ve already eaten his colleagues will say ‘let’s eat’ and it’s an act of service. I absoloutely love Asian food now 😍 I now realise they really value having someone to share food with which is quite lost in our culture. Food is very much a social thing and they don’t expect payment or it repaying, they are just happy to feed you

Trust me it's cultural and nothing is expected back, it's purely kindness and we English could learn a lot from it. We also live next door to a lovely Asian family and our kids love the food they bring around and for the last 3 years my hubby cuts there grass the same time he does ours as a thankyou. We were considering moving to a bigger house and simply based on our lovely neighbours we are still here 6 years on

Don’t we all ☺️

Wish I had a neighbour like her!

You sound really nice OP, especially in current climate. I’m not Muslim but grew up in a very majority Muslim country (English is not my first language sorry). I’d say if you want to reciprocate for Eid get them actually useful things, so vouchers like Amazon can be good for that, people can choose what they spend it on and you can’t see on your side.