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Original poster

Would you be hurt by this?

110 replies

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 19:48

A close friends young daughter said something strange to me near Xmas.
She heard us talking at a dinner table about saying goodbye to people after they pass & seeing them & i said going into see my Father was so hard & hurt me so much . She then commented to me “Not another sob story is it (with my name)??
I was shocked as shes under 10 but I said to her well it’s a horrible thing to see you’ll understand one day. & she just went away.
Tried to speak to friend about it she said shes too young to understand what she said & theres no point speaking to her about it now it’s done 🤨

OP posts:
LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 04/03/2026 19:58

The child might have heard that anywhere and not even particularly in the context of you. A grandparent maybe? It's the kind of phrase my MIL would use!

Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 19:57

Sweetcorn100 · 04/03/2026 19:56

You’ll probably not get the truth out and if you’re only asking your friend now 3 months later then the child’s most likely forgot and you won’t get a real answer

I asked about 2 weeks after it happened. Just posting here now as its still in my mind

OP posts:
ElizabethsTailor · 04/03/2026 19:57

Either she is copying exactly what she has heard from her mum (with tone and intonation), or she doesn’t understand what “sob story” means and thinks it just means “sad thing” and therefore had no intent.

Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 19:57

Sweetcorn100 · 04/03/2026 19:54

I could be completely wrong but children can dub their parents in it sometimes and I would say perhaps your friend said you have a lot of sob stories and her daughter has made the commenting because she’s overheard her mum talk about you and doesn’t actually realise what it means

That’s what si immediately thought and the friend said she doesn’t use that phrase and her dad mustve said it round her :/

OP posts:
Sweetcorn100 · 04/03/2026 19:56

You’ll probably not get the truth out and if you’re only asking your friend now 3 months later then the child’s most likely forgot and you won’t get a real answer

Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 19:56

CoyGoldenKoi · 04/03/2026 19:53

Children say all sorts of things they have no understanding of.

Of course you're hurt and upset, and your feelings are valid.
As to speaking to the child, it's months away from Christmas now, so if it wasn't dealt with at the time, they don't have the memory and capacity yet to be reflecting back on what to her was a throwaway comment months ago, whose impact she wouldn't have realised.

Feel the feelings, let them go, move on for your own peace.

Thanks I tried speaking to said friend in the home about it about 2 weeks later after it happened but she said there was no point speaking to her about it
i can’t stop wondering where shes heard that to say that to me x

OP posts:
Sweetcorn100 · 04/03/2026 19:54

I could be completely wrong but children can dub their parents in it sometimes and I would say perhaps your friend said you have a lot of sob stories and her daughter has made the commenting because she’s overheard her mum talk about you and doesn’t actually realise what it means

CoyGoldenKoi · 04/03/2026 19:53

Children say all sorts of things they have no understanding of.

Of course you're hurt and upset, and your feelings are valid.
As to speaking to the child, it's months away from Christmas now, so if it wasn't dealt with at the time, they don't have the memory and capacity yet to be reflecting back on what to her was a throwaway comment months ago, whose impact she wouldn't have realised.

Feel the feelings, let them go, move on for your own peace.

Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 19:53

That’s what I thought. And now I don’t know whether to trust the friend as why would she be saying sob story about me…
Isnt it shocking when kids get away with speaking like that thats disgusting saying that about your nephew!!

OP posts:
Vaxtable · 04/03/2026 19:51

I would suggest your friend is embarrassed as the child must have overheard her talking about you and sob stories

i had similar with an ex friends daughter who,when I was discussing my disabled nephew, said it would have been better if he had died! She was about 10.

she turned into a very nasty adult and very manipulative and ended up the wrong side of the law