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AIBU?

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Would you be hurt by this?

110 replies

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 19:48

A close friends young daughter said something strange to me near Xmas.
She heard us talking at a dinner table about saying goodbye to people after they pass & seeing them & i said going into see my Father was so hard & hurt me so much . She then commented to me “Not another sob story is it (with my name)??
I was shocked as shes under 10 but I said to her well it’s a horrible thing to see you’ll understand one day. & she just went away.
Tried to speak to friend about it she said shes too young to understand what she said & theres no point speaking to her about it now it’s done 🤨

OP posts:
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 21:05

Caitl995 · 04/03/2026 21:04

It’s not something to be discussed in front of a 10 year old really is it? No wonder they’re confused!

I dunno if their confused i think they know what they said as a lot is discussed in front of them but I’m not the parent I guess people forget ears are listening

OP posts:
BetteDavisChin · 04/03/2026 21:05

A guy at work used to give me a lift home as it was on his way.
One day I got in and his wife and daughter were in the car.
After saying our hello's I was just putting my seat belt on and his daughter piped up "do you think my daddy's a taxi driver?"
😂
Obviously my colleague had been moaning at home about giving me a lift.
I was embarrassed and a bit hurt at the time but I laugh about it now.
'Out of the mouths of babes ....'

Caitl995 · 04/03/2026 21:04

It’s not something to be discussed in front of a 10 year old really is it? No wonder they’re confused!

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 21:01

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:46

Are you unemployed?

No, I’m the Queen

OCDmama · 04/03/2026 21:01

She's heard her mother saying it. Do you tell a lot of sob stories? (Be honest). There's no point bringing it up with a kid 3 months after the fact, don't be so utterly ridiculous.

What you said to an 8 year old is awful though. She was repeating something she's heard, you were just being nasty to a little girl.

I can see you have very little to do with children, which sounds like it might be for the best.

Notmyreality · 04/03/2026 20:50

Well either a) it’s a random phrase she heard and related without really understanding the meaning of impact or b) she’s copied from presumably her DM saying it about you. If (b) I take a step back and objectively considering there may be some truth in. After all rather than forgetting about it and moving on you brought it up after 2 weeks and again now over 2 months later. Do you have a habit of dwelling on things and talking about them a lot?

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:48

YourSassyPanda · 04/03/2026 20:43

It might not be your friend talking behind your back op, it could be that she has heard this elsewhere (not necessarily at home) and tried to apply it to your conversation as it seemed (to her 10yo mind) to fit. She’s still very young and just learning about what adults do and don’t say to each other, I’d give her some grace if you can.

Thanks I can only hope…
There always is very grown up things discussed in front of her & she gets away with a lot so I guess it’s difficult for everyone including her gran :/

OP posts:
Peacexbliss · 04/03/2026 20:47

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:46

Are you unemployed?

You are rude.

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:46

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 20:45

Are you chronologically or emotionally quite young @ScottishHaggis85 ?

Are you unemployed?

OP posts:
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:45

Peacexbliss · 04/03/2026 20:44

All ways a dip feed when one cant get people on there side.

🤣🤣 okay

OP posts:
EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 20:45

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:44

While others were talking about their dead aunties? Okayyyy

Are you chronologically or emotionally quite young @ScottishHaggis85 ?

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:44

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 20:39

Maybe no one else wants to hear your self centred chat?

Edited

While others were talking about their dead aunties? Okayyyy

OP posts:
Peacexbliss · 04/03/2026 20:44

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:42

It’s pretty obvious to me they’re not as nice as they have been in the past & the child is picking up bad habits like calling people fat poking peoples stomachs saying fat , not taking no for an answer etc. I didn’t want to beleive the comment came from the mother but I guess il never know but I do know if it were me I’d be sitting the child down and telling them not to say things like that and at least asking where rhey heard it

All ways a dip feed when one cant get people on there side.

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:43

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 20:38

Well that’s cemented my opinion! Are you jealous of the attention the dd gets from your friend?

Erm what??

OP posts:
YourSassyPanda · 04/03/2026 20:43

It might not be your friend talking behind your back op, it could be that she has heard this elsewhere (not necessarily at home) and tried to apply it to your conversation as it seemed (to her 10yo mind) to fit. She’s still very young and just learning about what adults do and don’t say to each other, I’d give her some grace if you can.

Peacexbliss · 04/03/2026 20:42

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 20:38

Well that’s cemented my opinion! Are you jealous of the attention the dd gets from your friend?

I think you have sumed it up tbh.

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:42

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/03/2026 20:36

Sounds to me like she's heard one of her parents talking about people with sob stories.

Whether thats been about you, and whether the child understands that 'sob story' is an insulting term and not just 'someone talking about something sad' - thats another matter.

If you are frequently emotionally dumping on these people, maybe its a bit of a heads up. If you really aren't, then either they are not as nice as you thought or they're talking about someone else entirely.

Years ago, as a teenager, I rang a friend at her and her parents home. Her young neice was there who I'd met a few weeks previously and gotten on really well with (like most adults who talk directly to children she thought I was great, very fun)...

Friends Mum answered and shouts to friend 'its Widdlin on the phone for you'...

As the line hangs open waiting... I hear a small voice rather loudly ask:

'Widdlin? Is that the one Grandma says is a pillock?'

Much spluttering and shushing from 'Grandma'. Much snorted laughter from me.

Ah, fun times. (I already knew that 'Grandma' didn't have the highest opinion of me).

It’s pretty obvious to me they’re not as nice as they have been in the past & the child is picking up bad habits like calling people fat poking peoples stomachs saying fat , not taking no for an answer etc. I didn’t want to beleive the comment came from the mother but I guess il never know but I do know if it were me I’d be sitting the child down and telling them not to say things like that and at least asking where rhey heard it

OP posts:
Peacexbliss · 04/03/2026 20:41

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 20:39

Maybe no one else wants to hear your self centred chat?

Edited

Very very true.
MeMeME thats all im reading.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 20:39

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:36

While laughing?? You wouldn’t say not another sob story is it? While laughing
if I want to chat about it I will

Maybe no one else wants to hear your self centred chat?

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 20:38

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:29

Grow up lol
why would anyone want their apparent best friend speaking about them like that
this child knows what their saying so don’t play that their innocent children can be capable of being nasty
being involved in a conversation where others at the table spoke about the same situation isnt attention seeking it’s a conversation

Well that’s cemented my opinion! Are you jealous of the attention the dd gets from your friend?

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:36

Pearlstillsinging · 04/03/2026 20:35

But she could just think that it means a sad story while your understanding of the phrase is something quite different and derogatory. The child is 10, I quite understand why mum said it was no good talking to her about 2 weeks later. The time to address it was when she said it.
Now is the time for you to let it go and move on.

While laughing?? You wouldn’t say not another sob story is it? While laughing
if I want to chat about it I will

OP posts:
Peacexbliss · 04/03/2026 20:36

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:35

Correction the snappy replies are back to the same tone

Move on get over it its been 2 weeks.

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/03/2026 20:36

Sounds to me like she's heard one of her parents talking about people with sob stories.

Whether thats been about you, and whether the child understands that 'sob story' is an insulting term and not just 'someone talking about something sad' - thats another matter.

If you are frequently emotionally dumping on these people, maybe its a bit of a heads up. If you really aren't, then either they are not as nice as you thought or they're talking about someone else entirely.

Years ago, as a teenager, I rang a friend at her and her parents home. Her young neice was there who I'd met a few weeks previously and gotten on really well with (like most adults who talk directly to children she thought I was great, very fun)...

Friends Mum answered and shouts to friend 'its Widdlin on the phone for you'...

As the line hangs open waiting... I hear a small voice rather loudly ask:

'Widdlin? Is that the one Grandma says is a pillock?'

Much spluttering and shushing from 'Grandma'. Much snorted laughter from me.

Ah, fun times. (I already knew that 'Grandma' didn't have the highest opinion of me).

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:35

Peacexbliss · 04/03/2026 20:34

And you come across snappy all about you.
Most of your replies sound nasty, are you one of them that like it all about you and your feelings.
If a 10 year old as said it say something.

Correction the snappy replies are back to the same tone

OP posts:
Pearlstillsinging · 04/03/2026 20:35

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:00

I get you but she knows what it means in the context of me looking sad talking about it something sad and she knew all about my father passing… never thought of that maybe something someone older would say yeah

But she could just think that it means a sad story while your understanding of the phrase is something quite different and derogatory. The child is 10, I quite understand why mum said it was no good talking to her about 2 weeks later. The time to address it was when she said it.
Now is the time for you to let it go and move on.