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Original poster

Would you be hurt by this?

110 replies

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 19:48

A close friends young daughter said something strange to me near Xmas.
She heard us talking at a dinner table about saying goodbye to people after they pass & seeing them & i said going into see my Father was so hard & hurt me so much . She then commented to me “Not another sob story is it (with my name)??
I was shocked as shes under 10 but I said to her well it’s a horrible thing to see you’ll understand one day. & she just went away.
Tried to speak to friend about it she said shes too young to understand what she said & theres no point speaking to her about it now it’s done 🤨

OP posts:
Riverflow6 · 05/03/2026 14:08

You do seem quite nuts OP . Move on

PheasantandAstronomers · 05/03/2026 14:07

You're coming across as quite mad, OP. I'd write it off as a child just using an expression they didn't understand with absolutely no malicious intent.

It seems quite logical for an eight year old to think that a 'sob story' just means a sad story, and as she overheard you talking about something terribly sad, she said something she thought was appropriate.

Kids of that age are still figuring out connotations and figurative language. I remember being terribly confused at around the same age by hearing my aunt say to my mother about a neighbour of hers that she'd 'buried her husband last year'. I thought it meant that when your spouse died you literally had to dig their grave yourself, and as the neighbour was a tiny, fragile little woman, I thought it sounded like an impossible task.

OhWhatABeautifulDay · 05/03/2026 13:58

As this thread goes on, I'm beginning to have a lot of sympathy for the mother of the child...

Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 05/03/2026 13:55

HeadyLamarr · 05/03/2026 13:51

You're still brooding of something a child said ages ago and that you brought up with the parent two weeks after it happened.

You're being snarky to multiple posters. You've called them names.

You said something awful to a child and don't think that's a problem. You're holding a child to a higher standard than yourself, a grown woman.

She's young, she's finding her way with adult conversations happening around her and the subject was an uncomfortable one.

I think a little self reflection might be in order.

Finding her way? 😅😅😅 what planet are you on honestly they knew what they said cause they obviously overheard it somewhere

OP posts:
Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 05/03/2026 13:54

HeadyLamarr · 05/03/2026 13:51

You're still brooding of something a child said ages ago and that you brought up with the parent two weeks after it happened.

You're being snarky to multiple posters. You've called them names.

You said something awful to a child and don't think that's a problem. You're holding a child to a higher standard than yourself, a grown woman.

She's young, she's finding her way with adult conversations happening around her and the subject was an uncomfortable one.

I think a little self reflection might be in order.

how is saying one day you might see for yourself an awful thing to say your so dramatic they knew what they said while laughing and repeating it - children can be accountable too

OP posts:
Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 05/03/2026 13:53

HeadyLamarr · 05/03/2026 13:51

You're still brooding of something a child said ages ago and that you brought up with the parent two weeks after it happened.

You're being snarky to multiple posters. You've called them names.

You said something awful to a child and don't think that's a problem. You're holding a child to a higher standard than yourself, a grown woman.

She's young, she's finding her way with adult conversations happening around her and the subject was an uncomfortable one.

I think a little self reflection might be in order.

Lol you get what you give out unfortunately snark is given back to the rubbish been posted about a question! Humans are allowed to be miffed by a comment! Glad your so perfect 😅

OP posts:
HeadyLamarr · 05/03/2026 13:51

You're still brooding of something a child said ages ago and that you brought up with the parent two weeks after it happened.

You're being snarky to multiple posters. You've called them names.

You said something awful to a child and don't think that's a problem. You're holding a child to a higher standard than yourself, a grown woman.

She's young, she's finding her way with adult conversations happening around her and the subject was an uncomfortable one.

I think a little self reflection might be in order.

Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 05/03/2026 13:27

Mum8686 · 04/03/2026 21:12

Unless they’ve experienced someone close to them dying, they may not understand. I think you’re taking it way too seriously. Children learn empathy gradually, with experience of life. They don’t come out of the womb with it.

It’s an odd thing to say though for an 8 year old i do think it was said with a reason but yeah

OP posts:
Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 05/03/2026 13:25

winter8090 · 04/03/2026 21:20

Do you think you tell a lot of sob stories?

if so, I would say it came from the parent.

If not, it could have came from anywhere and the child may not have understood what they said.

These people call me like family so I guess we talk about everything as it happens reslly x

OP posts:
Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 05/03/2026 13:25

Riverflow6 · 04/03/2026 21:25

I think you are over reacting

You wouldn’t wonder where she heard it or if it was her mother ? Just human I guess

OP posts:
Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 05/03/2026 13:24

sparrowhawkhere · 04/03/2026 21:37

Trying to be objective about yourself, do you do this?
I don’t think we can always judge how we come across.

Someone once told me I was cold, I think of myself as warm and friendly, then someone else said it and it hurt me but made me realise I was coming across as cold (typical middle class hold it all in upbringing!)

Thanks but that isnt my concern here…. My concern is this child saying such an adult thing and where she has heard it

OP posts:
sparrowhawkhere · 04/03/2026 21:37

Trying to be objective about yourself, do you do this?
I don’t think we can always judge how we come across.

Someone once told me I was cold, I think of myself as warm and friendly, then someone else said it and it hurt me but made me realise I was coming across as cold (typical middle class hold it all in upbringing!)

BlonderThanYou · 04/03/2026 21:31

The child could have heard any adult say this and repeated it just because it stuck with her. Dont give it too much thought or take it personally.

Riverflow6 · 04/03/2026 21:25

I think you are over reacting

winter8090 · 04/03/2026 21:20

Do you think you tell a lot of sob stories?

if so, I would say it came from the parent.

If not, it could have came from anywhere and the child may not have understood what they said.

Notmyreality · 04/03/2026 21:17

BansheeOfTheSouth · 04/03/2026 21:15

Child repeated something she has heard an adult say. Whether or not it was said about you is irrelevant. What you said to the child was bang out of order. You know better. An 8 year old is still learning.

Her mother probably didn't pull her up because she was right.

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This.

BansheeOfTheSouth · 04/03/2026 21:15

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 21:07

And again it’s okay for children to say that and laugh? Okay bye

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Child repeated something she has heard an adult say. Whether or not it was said about you is irrelevant. What you said to the child was bang out of order. You know better. An 8 year old is still learning.

Her mother probably didn't pull her up because she was right.

Realscottishhaggis · 04/03/2026 21:12

You stole my username

EvangelineTheNightStar · 04/03/2026 21:12

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 21:05

I dunno if their confused i think they know what they said as a lot is discussed in front of them but I’m not the parent I guess people forget ears are listening

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But are you the one going on and on?

Mum8686 · 04/03/2026 21:12

Unless they’ve experienced someone close to them dying, they may not understand. I think you’re taking it way too seriously. Children learn empathy gradually, with experience of life. They don’t come out of the womb with it.

Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 21:10

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 21:08

Do I tell my apparent best friend a lot of sad stories? What do you think?? 🤔

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I see your commenting on me having a problem with what the “child” said while laughing but you don’t have a problem with any of this being discussed in front of the child. Again Im not the mother but I would know when to tell a child their badly behaved nearer the time of when it was actually spoken about !

OP posts:
Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 21:08

OCDmama · 04/03/2026 21:01

She's heard her mother saying it. Do you tell a lot of sob stories? (Be honest). There's no point bringing it up with a kid 3 months after the fact, don't be so utterly ridiculous.

What you said to an 8 year old is awful though. She was repeating something she's heard, you were just being nasty to a little girl.

I can see you have very little to do with children, which sounds like it might be for the best.

Do I tell my apparent best friend a lot of sad stories? What do you think?? 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 21:07

BansheeOfTheSouth · 04/03/2026 21:06

She's 8. You are a grown woman who said a horrible thing to a child. You'd have been shown the door saying something like that to mine.

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And again it’s okay for children to say that and laugh? Okay bye

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Original poster
ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 21:06

BetteDavisChin · 04/03/2026 21:05

A guy at work used to give me a lift home as it was on his way.
One day I got in and his wife and daughter were in the car.
After saying our hello's I was just putting my seat belt on and his daughter piped up "do you think my daddy's a taxi driver?"
😂
Obviously my colleague had been moaning at home about giving me a lift.
I was embarrassed and a bit hurt at the time but I laugh about it now.
'Out of the mouths of babes ....'

Oh god…. Noooooo you must have been mortified lol x

OP posts:
BansheeOfTheSouth · 04/03/2026 21:06

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:15

Oh but it’s okay for an 8 year old to laugh and say not Another sob story is it? Okay

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She's 8. You are a grown woman who said a horrible thing to a child. You'd have been shown the door saying something like that to mine.