Would you be hurt by this?

ScottishHaggis85 · 2026-03-04T19:48:09+00:00

A close friends young daughter said something strange to me near Xmas. She heard us talking at a dinner table about saying goodbye to people after they pass & seeing them & i said going into see my Father was so hard & hurt me so much . She then commented to me “Not another sob story is it (with my name)?? I was shocked as shes under 10 but I said to her well it’s a horrible thing to see you’ll understand one day. & she just went away. Tried to speak to friend about it she said shes too young to understand what she said & theres no point speaking to her about it now it’s done 🤨

LBFseBrom · 08/03/2026 02:50

ScottishHaggis85 · 06/03/2026 07:23

She said that she herself doesnt use that phrase but looked a bit embarrassed… but she says herself the child is a nightmare but I do think she can’t be bothered with the drama from her when trying to reprimand her

Show quote history

Kids pick up words and phrases from everywhere, even television. They don't learn tact and diplomacy until later and that's usually after they've put their foot in it.

No doubt your friend has had a word with her daughter. I can remember blurting things out when I was a child and my mother being furious, I had no idea I'd said anything wrong.

Please let it go, she is only a child.

Getareallife · 06/03/2026 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Getareallife · 06/03/2026 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

ScottishHaggis85 · 06/03/2026 07:24

Barrenfieldoffucks · 05/03/2026 16:33

They're 8? That's very young. I would assume that a partner said similar, or that you do 'lean' on your friend a lot. You do sound very sensitive, so I'd be thinking about whether there could be a kernel of truth to the words.

Show quote history

Thats completely incorrect hadn’t seen the friend for weeks actually barely spoke to them

OP posts:

Original poster

ScottishHaggis85 · 06/03/2026 07:23

Glasgowgal200 · 05/03/2026 20:18

What did your friend say .

She said that she herself doesnt use that phrase but looked a bit embarrassed… but she says herself the child is a nightmare but I do think she can’t be bothered with the drama from her when trying to reprimand her

OP posts:

Original poster

ScottishHaggis85 · 06/03/2026 07:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Follow your own troll username & Get a life 😅 keyboard warrior
let’s not kid on you know someone from one post

OP posts:

CeciliaMars · 06/03/2026 05:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This is one of the most horrible things I’ve read written about someone else on Mumsnet.

LBFseBrom · 06/03/2026 00:23

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:15

Oh but it’s okay for an 8 year old to laugh and say not Another sob story is it? Okay

Show quote history

Kids say what comes into their heads, they do not have a filter. It takes maturity to learn tact.

Try not to think about it, she is only a child.

Getareallife · 06/03/2026 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Glasgowgal200 · 05/03/2026 20:18

What did your friend say .

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/03/2026 20:12

Nah, sorry - you clearly cannot grasp that a 8 year old could repeat a phrase, without grasping the actual meaning of that phrase.

You do sound like, and react like, someone who is a bit socially unaware and I am starting to think this kid has absolutely heard her parents bitching about you.

NormasArse · 05/03/2026 20:06

Robynxoxo · 04/03/2026 20:07

Your friend is obviously bitching about you. Children mimic their parents.

It’s not obvious at all.

The child has perhaps heard that phrase somewhere, liked the sound of it, and wanted to try it out. When it wasn’t met with laughter, she probably realised it was misjudged.

janietreemore · 05/03/2026 16:43

PheasantandAstronomers · 05/03/2026 14:19

You don't think it's just as likely that an eight year old had heard the expression 'sob story' somewhere and thought it just meant 'sad' because you sob when you're sad, and used it in total innocence of its connotations of manipulating someone into feeling sympathy for the teller?

Show quote history

The child said something like 'is this another of YOUR sob stories'. Didn't sound as if she was asking if this was the kind of thing that is meant by a sob story. She might not have fully understood the manipulation element, but she was associating it with OP.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 05/03/2026 16:33

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 20:15

Oh but it’s okay for an 8 year old to laugh and say not Another sob story is it? Okay

Show quote history

They're 8? That's very young. I would assume that a partner said similar, or that you do 'lean' on your friend a lot. You do sound very sensitive, so I'd be thinking about whether there could be a kernel of truth to the words.

CeciliaMars · 05/03/2026 16:24

traceybeakersbeaker · 05/03/2026 16:22

She’s 8

Show quote history

Sorry, read it is 10. I also think an 8 year old would know this is hurtful! I’d be mortified if any of my kids spoke to an adult like this about anything, let alone their father dying…

traceybeakersbeaker · 05/03/2026 16:22

CeciliaMars · 05/03/2026 16:20

As someone with a 10 year old who also teaches 10 year olds, I’d say that’s a really unkind thing to say and I’d be furious if my child said that to an adult. A 10 year would know that’s a mean thing to say.

She’s 8

CeciliaMars · 05/03/2026 16:20

As someone with a 10 year old who also teaches 10 year olds, I’d say that’s a really unkind thing to say and I’d be furious if my child said that to an adult. A 10 year would know that’s a mean thing to say.

houseofisms · 05/03/2026 15:59

She’s a kid, they pick up on what their parents say

traceybeakersbeaker · 05/03/2026 15:44

You are a bit of a moanbag. Parents have mentioned you and your sob stories before, kid picks up on it, You launch into another one and said kid asks if this was another one of your sob stories. An 8 year old would never use that phrase in the right context unless they heard it from an adult. In other words, they are sick of listening to them. Kid included.

HeadyLamarr · 05/03/2026 15:41

ScottishHaggis85 · 05/03/2026 13:55

Finding her way? 😅😅😅 what planet are you on honestly they knew what they said cause they obviously overheard it somewhere

Show quote history

Rather proving my point.

Your responses are childish and unpleasant to people who are responding fairly reasonably, if critically, because you did ask AIBU. And yes, you are.

If this level of overreaction is typical, I'm rather seeing their point.

Delphiniumandlupins · 05/03/2026 15:17

You don't think it's horrible to say to an 8 year old child that one day someone they love will die and they will have to view the body? (Having been talking about how traumatic you found the experience.)

Dollymylove · 05/03/2026 14:32

She has obviously heard her mother say it. Thats not really something a 10 year old will have come up themselves.
Adults need to be very careful what they say in front of children, they will remember it and repeat it at the most awkward moments!!

OneQuirkyPanda · 05/03/2026 14:28

I think what the child said was very rude, she should have been pulled up on it, your reply was a bit below the belt though. I think there are two possibilities, she’s just heard the phrase and thinks she’s being funny repeating it, she’s only 8, so definitely possible.

Or she’s heard her mum/dad say it about you, your friend didn’t correct her, so I would go with this option, as I can imagine she didn’t want to get into a discussion about it in case her kid dropped her in it e.g. “but that’s what you said about (OP’s name) the other day!”.

If you are being honest do you often have sob stories? It might be a good opportunity, as embarrassing as it is, to reflect on if there’s any truth in the comment.

PheasantandAstronomers · 05/03/2026 14:19

janietreemore · 05/03/2026 14:12

She
Almost certainly heard it from her parents OP, and they complain you go on about the sad things in your life. I would not blame the child at all but you might want to challenge your friend.

Show quote history

You don't think it's just as likely that an eight year old had heard the expression 'sob story' somewhere and thought it just meant 'sad' because you sob when you're sad, and used it in total innocence of its connotations of manipulating someone into feeling sympathy for the teller?

janietreemore · 05/03/2026 14:12

ScottishHaggis85 · 04/03/2026 19:56

Thanks I tried speaking to said friend in the home about it about 2 weeks later after it happened but she said there was no point speaking to her about it
i can’t stop wondering where shes heard that to say that to me x

Show quote history

She
Almost certainly heard it from her parents OP, and they complain you go on about the sad things in your life. I would not blame the child at all but you might want to challenge your friend.