To be ashamed of becoming a cleaner

The person who should be ashamed is your husband whose abusive behavior put you in this position.
You are doing the absolute best you can.

You do whatever you need to care for your kids. It's a big change for you but all your kids see if their mum looking after them.
And if anyone has that attitude because of your job then they are not worth knowing.

When I was a child I had friends whose mothers were cleaners, I thought nothing of it. My mother did cleaning when I was a teen and the cleaner at our offices was a good friend of mine - and she was wealthier than I am. I've also done cleaning myself for a short time. I don't know any cleaners who have been looked down on - why should they be, they are doing an honest job. Cleaning is simply a job, like all other jobs.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about, and if anyone looks down on you that says more about them than you.

I've been a cleaner and frankly it's a bit of a luxury really. You can get hours that work around your children's needs so you can probably do all the school stuff and spend time after school to take them to the park or whatever, you get free fitness and to spend your days dancing around listening to your favourite music/podcasts/audio books while avoiding office politics.

Enjoy it!

My cleaner drives a Mercedes and not an old one at that.
i definitely do not drive anything like a Mercedes, and while hers could be on finance, I couldn’t afford the monthly payments for one either.

so while some people will look down on your job, those people aren’t worth anything. Besides, why not set up your own cleaning business, you never know you could be a Mercedes driver before you know it.

100%

I am a "professional" but when my kids were little I did all kinds of jobs including working in a greasy spoon cafe and midday assistant at a school. You do whatever fits around your children when they are young. It never bothered me, but then I dont ever judge anyone for what job they do (unless they're an influencer or banker or some other bullshit job) All jobs, especially low paid ones, are important to keep the country running. We saw that in Covid. All jobs are valuable and the ones that pay the least are usually the most valuable. Maybe this is karma because you took the piss out of people's jobs. Maybe you need to rethink your values.

Congratulations on leaving an abusive relationship. That's a huge achievement. Many women want to do this but can't.

You are giving you and your children safety and stability. That's is the most important thing ultimately.

You are wonderful! You're making a life for your kids. I loved my cleaner and now I'm older and my work has changed- im also thinking of cleaning as it's worthwhile and such a help.

Self employed cleaner here.. Since 2013..
I am respected and well regarded by my customers.. Anyone who thinks I am beneath them can get stuffed.

You sound like you're doing an amazing job of rebuilding your life and yourself after an incredibly difficult time - I hope you can be kinder to yourself and recognise how much you have achieved.

Anyone who looks down their nose at someone else on the basis of their job needs to have a good hard look at themselves imho.

I'm sorry that your clients aren't being very nice. We're very grateful for our cleaner and the excellent service she provides and treat her like I do anyone else I come across in life. End of.

Well done to you for providing for your family. One of my oldest friends was a cleaner until she retired recently. The job was flexible and kept her active and fit.

I heard someone joke once: the fittest bloke in the gym is the one who mops the floor!

That's disgusting. Can't believe people can be do rude. My Mil always makes coffee and chat with her cleaner, buys her a birthday gift etc.

Could you become a childcare provider?
Have you asked for cms?

Don't feel embarrassed @Jigglywigglypuff- you are very courageous and I admire you. One of my friends is a professional cleaner and I have gone with her twice just to keep company (airbnb appt) and my god is she a professional. I was so impressed with her way of being efficient. Even if I tried my best I couldn't possibly be up to her standards. I was thinking about doing the same thing for a while but thought better if it. I would get fired the first day🤣

You have nothing to be ashamed of at all, a job's a job and cleaning is flexible and fits in with your kids. Some people do treat cleaners/waiters/customer service people poorly and they are horrible people. You won't be doing it forever.

My mum was a cleaner and I was really proud of her.

You are doing an honest days work for a honest days wages.

There is ZERO shame.

It allows you to spend quality time with your children and make your own hours.

Decent cleaners is my area earn £30 ph and dont bring their own equipment.

You are doing your best (and your best is great)

I would start as you are then look to set up on your own (more money) and then maybe grow your own business.

If people are shitty it says more about them.
Our cleaner who had to return home was considered very fondly by our family. We really missed her and I shed a tear when she left.

If the people are that rude that they can't be polite then they are arseholes. You're working hard for your family, doesn't matter what you do.
Who cares what anyone else thinks? On the positive side, its not stressful and it'll keep you fit. Good cleaners are hard to find, not that I have one but I hear it all the time.
Home cleaners earn good money and I'd rather do that than less money in a job with mental fatigue/stress.
You're showing your dcs that you're adaptable and doing what you need to do in new circumstances. Anyone can lose anything and everything at anytime. Thats a good life lesson and if not now, they'll realise that at some point in time.

Cleaners are quite important in my opinion. Imagine, in an office for example, the chaos & mess that would ensue if the cleaner did not turn up for a few days. It's nothhing to be ashamed of

I do a lot worse that being a cleaner to pay my kids uni fees. . . No fucks are given. I think she’s proud of what I do to put her through a decent education.
WELL DONE YOU. . . Fuck anyone else.

Quite a few mums I’ve met at the school gates of my kids middle class village school are cleaners and I’ve literally never given it a second thought or thought differently of them because of it

I assume that many if not most woman who are cleaners are doing so because it fits in with their caring responsibilities. Several of my neighbours are cleaners for this reason and I’ve considered doing the same when I have to go back to work after mat leave. I’m also educated, currently work in a professional job. It would be a shame to give it up but my kids come first. You’re doing what you need to do to rebuild your family and there’s zero shame in working hard for your kids.

You’re a bloody warrior! Having escaped an abusive marriage myself and started from scratch I can assure you that your children will have absolutely no shame about your profession and neither should you. I for one think you’re incredible. I couldn’t give less of a shit if I tried about what other people think of me these days. I am proud of me. I hope you can hold your head up incredibly high. As the kids get older and you get more freedom then you can explore other career paths for sure. A good friend of mine is a
cleaner, runs her own small business and employs 2 other people. She is beyond valued by her clients and she now picks only people who are respectful. You’re starting from scratch and need to cut yourself a break my love. X

If it helps I love my cleaner and I make sure she knows it. Plus I’m supporting a small local business was run by a woman. She does a brilliant job and is miles better at it than I am, I can’t fathom how she does what she does in the time slot.

At least you are working. 🤷

Being a cleaner is nothing to be ashamed of it's bloody hard work.
My DW has been a cleaner for 42years because of literacy issues etc and now health issues because she's worked damned hard for those 42 years.