To be ashamed of becoming a cleaner

Daft question alert!

where is the best place to look for these jobs?

Will your DC be going to a state school? I think it's very unlikely that they will be judged for you being a cleaner if they are. I went to a state school and my mum was a waitress, there was never any judgement. No one cared what jobs the parents were doing unless it was something exciting. I had friends whose parents worked in IT, teachers, police officers, retail, childcare. The only ones that got talked about was the dad who was a police officer and the dad who worked in IT and had an apple PC which was pretty impressive to us in the 90s!

If anyone judges it should be them that’s ashamed!

You are honestly a prime example of someone children should be proud of. You have found yourself in very very difficult circumstances- you have two children to provide for and very restricted hours in which you can work. You are working not relying on benefits (no shame in that and I’m glad they’re there when needed) but you should feel so much pride for what you’re doing. I’m not saying that as platitudes - I’m a “middle class” parent, I wouldn’t judge you. We are all perfectly capable of finding ourselves in your circumstances through loss of job/ relationship breakdown.

do your work with your head held high and if you want to change job before your children start school then you can. What are your qualifications and what role would you want?

it’s also admirable you won’t palm them off with someone they don’t know and want them to feel safe and secure. You’re an excellent mother, in tough circumstances, be proud of yourself.

I went through 12 years of private school with a close family member working as a cleaner. I was never ashamed of them. Never. If anyone else judged me for it, they never said anything, and if they had I would have given them an earful.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about in working to support your family in the way that works best for your current circumstances.

You have a job that gives you freedom and independence.

To be honest, I think this is more about you than anyone else. You & your friends used to talk about other parents jobs (undoubtedly critically) & now you are having to face up to your own unpleasant judgements.

your children are both still really young (well done for leaving when you did 🌷 & giving them a much better start in life! Don't ever doubt that's what you have done). I thinks it's good while they are both so young to work around nursery hours, but is there anything you could do from home after they have gone to bed to keep you up to date with your previous occupation.

is moving to another area where you could start again less bothered by people you know.

good cleaners are worth their weight in gold, it's your own view of people who clean that's the problem.

I want to be honest and say that people will judge you, but they can get to fuck.

They don't know your story and it's one to be proud of.

The great thing about your life experience is that you know that you deserve respect, and that you are not your job. And in future when you're doing better financially, you will always remain kind.

Keep going, op ❤️

Try for a Civil Service WFH job. A lot of them say 60% office attendance but it isn’t widely enforced in my experience. I’ve been in 3 times in the last 6 months. You can ask for term time hours/part time/compressed hours. It’s great.

I know how you feel.
Over the Christmas period I took on a second job working in a supermarket to give me some extra money. I enjoyed the job very much but did feel self-conscious that people would judge me for this. Especially people I seen that I hadn't seen in many years. I am no way ultra successful but I am proud of what I have achieved in my life. However being a single parent trying to provide as best as I can for my family can be hard work. I sent out to earn enough money to put towards a holiday for me and my kids and I have done this so I am happy with what I done

Aye my DW had that ..the cleaner aye gets the blame.

I'm incredibly jealous of my house cleaner because she has flexibility (she also does some hours working in a supermarket around it)
I also hire for cleaners in offices and honestly, there's no judgements, some of them work incredibly hard. I'd do it myself if I was fit enough.

You're an amazing, resilient, resourceful woman holding her head up and the negativity down. Walk tall lady, walk tall.... Don't worry about other people and be proud of everything you do for you and your children. Those who mind, don't matter and those who matter don't mind.... and can fuck off 😁🤣 You keep on building a future for your family the best way you can and if you need shoulders to lean on, you've got us lot as your cheerleaders!!! Well done lovely 💖👏🏼💐 xx

I am also from a middle class background and all my friends are ‘professionals’. I cant work atm and have kids with additional needs. I just admire you and think youre doing a lot better than me! Also great way to weed out bad friendships.

I love my cleaner, she saves my bacon and does an amazing job. Cleaners are in demand, so why not! You’re doing great :)

It won’t be forever. I felt the same way when I was a part time cleaner. Irrespective of what people say on here you feel the judgement. I cleaned offices and people would leave their cups on their desks for me. Cleaning other people’s 💩 in toilets is degrading. I was accused of stealing items that went missing, because, I was just the cleaner in their eyes.

Just wanted to validate your feelings, it doesn’t have to be forever. 🌺

You are doing the two things that are the most important: prioritising your children, and being financially self-sufficient. No doubt a few ignorant people will have a negative thought. You have dignity. They do not. As for your children, they love you because you're their mum, and will love you the same whether you spend the day with a hoover in your hand or a keyboard under your fingertips.

I wonder if you should maybe try it on your own rather than working for a company. Choose your own clients and say bye bye to the rude and judgemental ones.

I have a cleaner who comes once a week. My mum used to clean when I was little. As it happens I don't need to work (very fortunate I know) but I do because I wanted a job. I work at a school and get paid less an hour than I pay my cleaner 😄.

I am grateful to my cleaner for helping me over the years. She does a good job and it makes a difference. When I am here I offer her a cuppa and always say hello. Why wouldn't I? Some people are arseholes and need to get off their high horse.

NEVER be ashamed for putting food on your children's table through honest work. I work in a professional job as do most of my friends. One lost his job just before COVID and worked as a supermarket delivery driver. Couldn't be prouder of knowing a man who didn't miss a beat before finding a way to take care of his family.

Wishing you every possible good vibes that things feel manageable soon. Xxxx

You are not a failure at all and I am pretty sure your kids will be proud of you. Finding work around kids is hard ans cleaning is a great, flexible job that won’t be overtaken by ai any time soon!

Well i don't know you but if I did I would be amazingly proud of you. One of my mates is a cleaner. She has a really incredible reputation and is well regarded.
If people treat you less than with respect, they are not worth respecting and therefore their opinion is worthless.

My MIL was a cleaner.
I should ignore anyone who’s cunty to you about it. You’re earning. People value good reliable cleaners. You could build this up, it’s not a shit job at all.