To be ashamed of becoming a cleaner

I have no time for job snobbery. None at all. If you work, you work.

I would judge you - incredibly well. I’d be so impressed that you’re putting your pride aside doing whatever it takes to provide for your family.
i completely understand where you’re coming from and your feelings are completely valid. I hope that your able to find a role you’re happier in soon, but til then, feel proud of yourself for keeping things afloat. One day they’ll be proud of you for this. You’re not defined by you’re job, you’re defined by who you are as a person x

OP you are inspirational and should be so proud of yourself. As for the person/people who cannot even greet you...words fail me. When I was working we loved and valued our office cleaner, aside from being excellent at her job she great to chat with, all the teams who shared the work space liked her and treated her with the respect she deserved. I would be useless as a cleaner, I can spend ages cleaning my home but it never has that "gleam" that a good cleaner manages, all power to you and I hope you end up running your own business.

This with bells on. You are rebuilding your life. Fucking amazing work. Walk with total pride. You rock!

I would never judge anyone for their job but I do judge people who don't work & are able to. It's great you've found a job that works around your children & their needs & I am sure they benefit from that. I think you need to focus on the example you are setting for your children now & in the future, they have a hard working mum doing it all by herself & paying her way in life, brilliant & I am sure they will learn from the example you set & be hardworking & contributing to society. Good luck x

Apologies if I'm echoing.

How people respond (or don't) to you says more about them. You're earning your own money, and singlehandedly parenting two young ones. There is not a person on this earth who is above you or below you.

I'm sorry you encountered such awful
oeople, but thankfully you sound quite resilient & self assured, so I hope you weren't too affected by their nasty behaviour!!

Ofcourse you are right. I have found myself saying ridiculous long-winded things like ‘ the lovely person who does some cleaning’ or ‘ this is Jo, who helps with the cleaning’ - I could never bring myself to say ‘ this is Jo - my cleaner’ - it sounds like they are your ‘staff’ rather than helping you out.
I think I know too many people who use MY cleaner to boost their own status.

I lost my office job during Covid, couldn’t find another so turned to cleaning. I honestly don’t care who knows. I actually prefer it to office work. My friend started her own cleaning business and she’s thriving.

Be proud you are working and providing for your kids

I know several cleaners as friends and tbh it’s hard work cleaning. A physical work out and strenuous

I would never look down on them for that they do

thy graft and work hard

and if anyone looks down on you do your job then they are not friends

People who judge you for working are not worth worrying about, it’s proper honest work and very much needed. You can also earn good money if you are self employed, cleaners here cost £20 an hour minimum, often far more. If you want to stretch what you do to be really helpful, advertise as a cleaner/home help, so it’s so needed and you can charge a bit more an hour too, so many people are looking for this service for their relatives (cleaning, shopping, sheets changed, help with paperwork sometimes, and keeping an eye)

No shame in being a cleaner!! They do a vital job. I have done cleaning jobs in that past. I hated it, not because I think its beneath me, Im just a lazy bugger 🤣
Hold your head high OP you are working and earning money 😊

My mum was a cleaner for a bit after my parents divorced and she was left with a crappy solicitor who failed to get her anything at all. I would have been about 9 at the time. Like you, she was from a more middle-class background and had worked a very white-collar job before having us. I don't remember every feeling any shame about it, none of my friends ever commented on it (not sure if they knew), and I quite enjoyed going to some of the fancy houses to help on half term. As an adult I am very proud of her for doing what she had to do and just gritting her teeth and getting on with it - even when having to deal with the men's toilets in the pub...

If I was a cleaner, I think I would find your post thoroughly offensive. What on earth is wrong with being a cleaner?

Good for you, you're working, it doesn't matter what job you do, as long as it's all above board.
You're also allowing your customers time to do other things instead of them having to spend their time cleaning.

I knew of, and include myself in this, many mum's that did cleaning jobs around their DC while they were at school, perfect fit, although I never once felt looked down on by those I cleaned for.

You're showing your DC a work ethic.

I've done cleaning....used to love it. And the families I cleaned for were sad to see me go.

Hi OP your storey sounds a lot like mine. Abusive ex, becoming a single parent, building life from scratch and also missing what was a privileged family life.

I really recommend getting into deep cleaning and being self employed rather than working for a business.

I know what you mean I had two women today laughing at me watching me get my cleaning products into my car and one asked am I a cleaner and did ‘ I have fun’ mocking me. I felt like shit but I’m making this life work I’ve trained in it and became self employed and some weeks making 2k or more in deep cleans that fit around the school run. That job today where two women thought it was nice to make fun of me was a quick job of 3 hrs before another client and I made £125. The were on their break probably in a job they hate to be picking on someone.

Cleaning has stigma unfortunately but like many labour jobs they can actually be pretty lucrative as it’s often the jobs people don’t want to do that have the most work.

Believe in yourself OP.

This. I said to "my " hairdresser that I could recommend my cleaner as she was brilliant ( still gutted she moved out of the area)

Is saying my hairdresser wrong also

I’m sorry you’ve been through such a tough time.

Please step away from the shame. Cleaners work hard and are in demand- there is no reason to be ashamed. I’d be ashamed if I was an arms dealer or a hedge fund manager. Otherwise, I don’t see any jobs as shameful.

I had a good upbringing and I have a degree. My work is teaching exercise classes and Home Help for Age Uk (mostly cleaning).

Most of the friends I grew up with have amazing careers and six figure salaries. That hasn’t happened for me for a number of reasons (lack of confidence, lack of ambition, ADHD, having my kids quite young…)

I’m still friends with many of those high-achieving friends I grew up with. They don’t seem to be judging me for what I do. I don’t earn very much but what I earn is enough. Most importantly, I am GOOD at the work I do and I really enjoy it. I think that’s all that matters. At my age of life (late 40s) if I met someone who looked down their nose at the type of work I do, I think I’d laugh very loudly in their face and then resolve to stay well away from them because I don’t want to associate with people like that.

If you hate cleaning and want something different, then you can work your way towards that when you have the opportunity. But in and of itself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with working as a cleaner.

@Jigglywigglypuff all work is honourable! I finally got a cleaner recently. She has just given up her office job because she was mentally taking the job home with her.

She is a delight. She does a great job and makes my life easier.

Anyone who looks down on someone for the reasons you’ve described isn’t worth any of your headspace.

Don’t be ashamed of your job - you’ll be teaching your kids to have a work ethic.

Best of luck to you 🙂

What would you prefer people to say?

I kind of understand what you mean about being called 'my gardener' & feeling a bit off about it, but even more so with cleaners than gardeners, what's any better without it being a complete mouthful?

'The person that's self employed who I adore & pay to clean my home for me (or garden for me)' is just too much if a mouthful. My cleaner/gardener doesn't mean I feel like I iwn them or anything...

Not acknowledging you to say a polite hello is the height of bad manners.

Don’t take it to heart, the shame is on them.

You will get there 💐

I was made redundant many years ago on the day I returned from maternity leave. We’d just moved into a big house we were renovating and had a massive mortgage.

I did several cleaning jobs that fitted around my eldest daughter’s preschool hours, piece work in the evenings and a job in a show home at weekends. No, not my dream life and I did eventually work my way back up the career ladder, but if anyone had judged me it would have said more about them than me.

😮

Sounds as though it's you that had issues with people's jobs in the past to even think such things.

Maybe it's karma for being a snob

OTOH good cleaners are like gold dust round here and very popular