To be ashamed of becoming a cleaner

Seriously the way you are talking about the job anyone would think you’ve gone on the game and become a prostitute!
you’re doing an honest days work and it’s bloody hard graft I do encourage you to join the Facebook group solo cleans with Helen young, women are doing extremely well at being cleaners and eating a very good living doing it, me included and I’m not ashamed one bit. My clients are the loveliest and don’t look down on me one bit and I have some very rich clients who are very appreciative and tell me so quite often I have a great relationship with them all, if your clients are treating you like shit or making you feel like that then get rid of them, that’s the beauty of the job you pick your clients and if they turn out awful people you move on from them

you are no way different than any other mum in the schoolgate. I am very educated but always have done NMW jobs in the UK. It has never bothered me seeing women with oversized houses or cars. As I wrote somewhere else, few of them come even close to the intellect, beauty and inner soul finery me and my own have. There you go, think like me

all you are not having is a man. And these days this is not a must. Everything else, you have it

I remember when I was a sahm with an abusive h, I started a small dog minding business.

Someone who I thought was a friend introduced me to our fitness group as her dog minder. I was pissed off - I knew she was a snooty cow and she loved this opportunity to try and make someone look small and herself as someone who had staff.

We both recognised it for what it was. I wish I had pulled myself together and said, yes, it was my business and if anyone wanted their dogs looking after them they should contact me. Except I was broken, ashamed, embarrassed and tired in front of all these wealthy, private school mothers. So I didn’t.

Now, I would be so impressed with my initiative.

Go for it, op. One day if you want it, you’ll own your own cleaning company and have employees.

I cannot bear any kind of work snobbery. It’s foul.

You are worried about what your kids might think of you as a cleaner. Have you thought maybe they might think of you like this instead: you left an abusive man, putting them first and have fought to provide for them as a single mum. You are the best role model they could ask for 💕

This was me about 10 years ago. I used to run around like a headless chicken between cleaning jobs, turning up to parents evenings, school plays etc in my dusty uniform, horrified that all the other mums seemed so fresh and put together! But my top tip would be to pitch estate agents for end of tenancy cleans and source your own products, rather than working for one company or regular clients. I earned significantly more money doing this and could be more flexible to fit around my kids. My boys have seen me work my absolute arse off over the years as a lone parent and are immensely proud of me.Through real thriftiness, I'm now mortgage free, my boys are now teens and have a great work ethic and are both in full time work. You're setting a great example - well done you! x

100% this. I work as a finance director, but wouldn’t hesitate to do what I needed to for my family. My mum was a cleaner, she worked her arse off to give us a nice life and I’m overwhelmingly proud of her.

Some cleaners charge a fucking fortune. You could be absolutely loaded soon if you build up your client base!

No judgment from me. I have always thought I’d quite enjoy cleaning. I like getting stuck in and I also like jobs where there is tangible results immediately (e.g., this was dirty, now it’s clean). I also think if you have the right clients it could be very rewarding to provide a helping service.

I’ll tell you something, I’ve never once looked at my cleaner and thought “that’s a poor persons job” because it’s bloody not! She’s worth her weight in gold and at £20 per hour, it’s not a bad little earner. Thing is, she doesn’t actually need to work. I didn’t know that when I employed her, but her husband is an investment banker and his bonus alone is way more than my salary. But she does it because she was bored of being a housewife.

Youve done amazing to find the motivation to get yourself into work. Please don’t think people look down at you, because I can imagine that they don’t - it’s most probably in your head or your own self esteem. You’re doing good OP, keep going!

Thank you.

yeah I was taken back I thought they were going to ask for directions at first. 🤣

There are quite a few jobs that I would judge but cleaning is definitely not on the list. Cleaning provides an honest service for individuals or companies and a fair exchange of money to labour.

Chuggers who get people to sign up for charity direct debits without telling you that they get a huge of your donation. the hard sell people, whomever ran bright house or gambling shops or does websites enabling dodgy stuff or runs scams then I judge them. There are so many jobs and companies that aim to exploit people and cleaning is not that.

No one is going to judge or criticise you more then you will do yourself

I love , love , love retail. Mum nagged nagged nagged me, into taking an office job with promotion opportunity - it near killed me

Since the subsequent breakdown , Ive worked in jobs that suit me, not the jobs Im qualified for and you know what, I really dont give a shit what others think of me

I support my family, I earn my money , Im not costing anyone anything so no one has any right to comment on me and my choices

Try and see that you are working to keep your kids , it doesnt matter what you are doing, you are showing them that no job is below them, if it keeps them from relying on benefits

You may find you love what you do and go one to make a successful business for yourself or you may move on to pastures new, but there is NO SHAME in working for a living

This.

Love my cleaner she's better and faster than me. She had a high power career. Had 30 year pension. Felt burnt out.

She's so sought after and if a client is snotty, rude or she gets bad vibes just won't go back.

@Jigglywigglypuff build a reputation and become more selective about your clients.

This absolutely!

How dare you be ashamed of earning a living?

You have to stop caring what idiot people think of you and of anything.

Be proud of yourself. You’re out there working and earning.

Honestly OP you shouldn’t be ashamed. You’re working to support your family. There will always be horrid opinionated people. Focus on you and your family and ignore anyone being negative. Those type of people always have something to say.

There is value in hard work no matter what the work is

Hmm. I've very rarely needed to introduce the cleaner/gardener or whoever to anyone (just not there at the same time) but when I have had to I've always just used their name & (as you said) something like 'he/she keeps the house clean while I wrangle the kids/am tied to my desk!

I was thinking more when they weren't present, & more so in writing like on here

You’ve left an abusive relationship, are raising two young children, and have found a job that fits around their care while they settle into nursery.

For me you are a hero, not a failure.

Cleaning is important work. Plenty of people who employ cleaners couldn’t keep their own lives running without them. If some of your clients can’t even manage a basic hello, that reflects on them, not you.

I say it gently but you might be projecting a bit about the children being ashamed. Most kids are far more interested in what their friends are bringing for lunch or what they’re doing at the weekend than their parents’ jobs. And if anything, the story they’ll eventually understand is that their mum left a bad situation and worked hard to give them a stable life.

You're doing an incredible job.

Do you / did you judge others for cleaning?
Do you move in circles where people look down their noses at cleaners?

@Jigglywigglypuff hold your head high, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

I applaud you for leaving an abusive relationship and starting again from scratch.

When having doubts, always remember why you are doing this, for yourself and for your kids.

I think attitudes have changed a bit since you were a kid. People now realise that working around your kids and having a job with flexibility, especially as a single parent is the sign of someone doing the best they can in difficult circumstances and putting their children's best interests first.

I only wish there was more judging of the exes who walk away but we are starting to see a shift in attitude there too.

OP you are doing a great job and your kids are so lucky to have you

People who judge others by the nature of their work are arseholes and not worth your energy.
I think its highly commendable to have started up your own business from scratch and are actually making money from it!
It takes balls to start up again business on your own. You should be very proud of the fine example you are setting for your children

You are being unreasonable and incredibly nasty. It shows your attitude towards working class jobs and people, you think they are beneath you. You assume people are judging you because you would judge them.

Most people will not judge you - and if they do, that's their problem for being snobby judgmental arses. Hopefully this will teach you a lesson: cleaning is a very valuable job to society, and it can't be replaced by AI or robots.

By the way, many of my friends mum's were cleaners, and nobody ever, ever judged them. It's a normal grown up's job and it wouldn't have occurred to any of us to think anything of it.

or you can think of it in a different way..

came out of a bad relationship, working hard to ensure your children do not go with out.

Also cleaners can make £15-£20 and it offers flexibility which are good factors.

Be proud and grateful not ashamed or embarrassed. You are teaching your children a valuable lesson and although you feel people are looking down on you I'm sure most people aren't really interested in what job you are doing and will think it's brilliant your working and being a good role model for your children.

No it’s not wrong, but neither is saying my plumber or my window cleaner. I’m not saying ‘my cleaner’ is wrong or bad - I’m just saying that I find it difficult. Maybe it is because these roles were once indentured service.

Hi op well done for starting again you got your kids away from an abusive home and your status might have changed for now but I think people forget cleaning is hard graft that is why most of these people who have cleaners don’t do the job themselves because it’s bloody hard. Op also your self employed which is brave and takes guts you are having a blip which you will move on from this is a temporary thing your future isn’t bleak and when you feel any shame just tell yourself your a single mother working hard to provide for your dc and you should be proud of yourself the people you work for are no better than you. I wish you well in your future.