To be ashamed of becoming a cleaner

Good cleaners are hard to find so congrats on providing for your children. I had some weird jobs when I was a student - including being on a chat (aka sex) line so you do whatever job you can do to pay the bills. Good cleaners can pick and choose clients.

There’s never shame in working to support yourself and your children.

@Jigglywigglypuff the people who do aren’t worth your energy.
why don’t you start your own cleaning business work for yourself. Better money that way ? Might help you feel better.

You are absolutely not a failure! You are awesome! You’ve been through an awful time and you’ve not only survived that, but you are now working really hard to support your family. Anyone who judges you negatively is an arsehole! I judge you - as an amazing mum!

I have a degree from Oxbridge. I have also worked as a cleaner. People are multifaceted! I would never judge you for being a cleaner, and those that do aren’t worth bothering with. I would also kill for a good cleaner right now - finding skilled ones is actually really hard, as it is a science and an art.

Why are you working for a company? The going rate is £18-20 an hour and you can easily get jobs yourself by doing leaflet drops or using the Next Door app (wouldn't recommend Facebook as too many weirdos).

How would anyone know you're doing cleaning work? I've got to start doing it again soon and I have a degree and if anyone spoke down to me I'd probably tell them and then find another client. My biggest worry is trying to do this with chronic health issues but that's another story :(

Op can I just say cleaning is a skill as I have come across loads of cleaners who don’t do a good job also if your charging correctly you are probably earning more than some people also you have put your dc first some career women don’t do this then have regrets later on in life so right now you have the best of both worlds.

That's a ridiculous comment. Indentured service wasn't a thing in the UK. Domestic staff might have been badly paid but they weren't indentured.

My parents have always had low
paid, working class jobs: factory work, cleaning, bus driving, caring etc. I never judged them for it or felt shame. They taught me and my brother about hard work and we’re both university educated and doing ok now. Sometimes you just need to take the source of income you can get.

^ This!! Kudos to you for doing what you can - and who cares what job it is - it pays you money and gives you your independence.
DH used to be a cleaner/caretaker for a local school and had teaching staff who were very dismissive of him until the day all the staff had to attend a course run by the local Education Authority. After introducing himself the lecturer asked everyone who they thought was the most important person in the school - all sorts of answers from the head teacher to SEN staff came back. The Lecturer said where's the caretaker? DH put up his hand and the lecturer said that gentleman is the most important person in the school - shocking everyone. He soon pointed out - without DH and his cleaners there would be no school that they could attend - not just because they keep the school clean but because they are responsible for security, maintenance, and a whole of other duties that have to be completed to comply with regulations such as Asbesos, Legionella and meter readings etc - keeping meticulous records and so on before even the head teacher and her staff could step one foot into the school.
So OP you may not be in a school but your clients should have an appreciation of your job because it enables them to have time to do other things or maybe even work themselves. Be proud and positive!

I’ve got an English Literature degree and I’m a cleaner 😂.

Ive never used my degree due to life circumstances and then being dealt a really shit hand. Being ND doesn’t help either.

I Am also a cleaner at my dds secondary school and never has she said she’s ashamed of me or had her friends say anything either.

A jobs a job and it pays the bills. I would have loved a career and a decent job (tbh I would have chosen a different degree but there we are) but it wasn’t to be.

Some people will treat you like dirt, some are absolutely lovely and others are just meh.

Our neighbour an elderly lady had a cleaner who came every day to walk the dogs, would have a quick tidy and a cup of tea. When the end was coming she organised a hospital bed, carers etc. the lady left her £20k in her will.

Another friend was given a car to use to run errands.

I'm really appalled at the attitude some people have towards someone who provides a good service.

I think people need to do the work that comes to hand. There is nothing to be ashamed of about cleaning. I'd be worried if you only charged minimum wage as the going rate is at least 20 per hour round my way. You provide a service, work for yourself when you want. You should be proud in providing for your family.

I can't think of a better role model than you right now, to everyone and most importantly your children. Ignore anything negative, sod them. People like that are not worth knowing whatsoever and to be frank, judgemental people are the type of people everyone should look down their noses at, not hardworking fabulous mums.

Hi OP, I voted yes because I too have done cleaning and I know it is often looked down on as a menial task. However, I worked for myself, gave my cleaning business a name, built up a good clientele and I made a good amount of money.
i did a lot of cleaning in elderly residential flats, I did a damn good job and soon had several ladies in the same building that I could do on the same day and they were lovely. I would avoid more ‘moneyed’ folk they are often snobby and rude.
Be proud of yourself not everyone can be organised and do a good job of cleaning.

Painfully condescending.

Respect to you for getting your family out of a bad situation and for now working to support them.
as you say, once the DC are a bit older, you’ll have other opportunities . Please hold your head up and ignore unpleasant people.

I am cleaning houses of people in the area and already feel the way they look at me and treat me as a cleaner is just poor. Not that they need to be my nest friend, but a basic 'hello', would be nice. Sometimes there is no acknowledgement at all. Some of these people I know (of) from seeing in the park, shops, nirsery, etc. This, I can handle, though it is a bit shit.
Did these people say hello before you became a cleaner? If people in your area have suddenly start ignoring you because you have become a cleaner that would be shocking. Are the people who you are cleaning for not acknowledging you? Equally as shocking.

*edit that was a reply to OP not the poster I replied to.

money is money and as long as it’s earned legally and is not morally questionable- who cares. You’re grafting and there’s not too many people who are willing to do that these days. Splitting with your partner and moving on in life is a massive achievement. How about looking ahead, cleaning with learning something new through a podcast or audio, be it history, politics, new language, your self esteem or learning towards a new career.
what’s not to love your getting paid to keep fit and learn!! Not every job offers that. Go girl!

I think I pressed the wrong one / but you’re def not being unreasonable doing what you can for your family.
We have a cleaner, we always have a little chat when she arrives (I wfh), I thank her when she leaves. I def don’t look down on her, she has her health issues and we chat about them as they can affect her working hours etc. I expect this is why she is a cleaner as opposed to working in an office or whatever.

I hear what you're saying and do understand. Firstly, well done on leaving an abusive relationship and rebuilding your life, it is so hard and freeing yourself and your child is the best thing you will ever do. I say this as a woman who is currently in an abusive relationship and completely broken, I wish I had an ounce of your strength. I wonder if the abuse ties into your feelings of inadequacy? Obviously I don't know your situation but I am in a relationship with someone middle class, whereas I am from a very humble background. He is very entitled and belittling of others and me (and I have two degrees, not a huge pay but a decent and respectable job). To him, status is everything and I feel very inadequate and belittled, I just wonder if you may have some of the same feelings?

You're working hard for you and your daughter. Every job is worthwhile (well I can't think of one that isn't!) and you're putting your daughter's needs first. It must be so hard starting again but you're free and things will get better, as you've said; you'll have more options once your child is older.

I admire you for working and taking a job that fits round your responsibilities as a mum. I employ a cleaner and I certainly don’t see her as a lesser human being. We chat about family and life. I pay her to help me out. I really appreciate her help. I hope you are getting a good hourly rate for your hard work. A friend of mine who taught art in her home country worked as a cleaner when she came to live in the uk because of her language skills and lack of uk recognised qualifications. Work is work. One day your children will appreciate the sacrifices you made to keep money coming in. Sending you my best wishes XXX

I've worked as a cleaner, it's nothing to be ashamed of. If others want to judge you, let them. Who cares? You're working, earning money and providing for your family. That's something to be proud of, not ashamed.

My cleaner is worth her weight in gold, I have so much respect for her. She built a business out of nothing after leaving an abusive relationship - she’s shown so much strength of character and is completely trustworthy. She makes my life so much easier and I would be poorer without her.

Anyone who looks down on someone doing a hard days work, who is building a future for themselves and their kids is an arsehole. I hope you get satisfaction and confidence in your new role, modelling a work ethic for your kids will pay dividends in their future. I think you’re incredible and wish you all the luck in the world.

I love being a cleaner! Take great pride in making sure people's houses are sparkling and spotless. I absolutely love it. It's great fun and customers are grateful and friendly. I used to manage BICS training and qualifications as well as City and Guilds. It's a true profession and vocation. I love cleaning my own house too and I was a bit obsessive when I worked in a teaching role about the office, kitchen etc!

Here's to all us Lady Mucks.

Another vote for Solo Cleaners Support With Helen.