To be ashamed of becoming a cleaner

Would judge people FAR more who are not working and expect the taxpayer to fund them than a cleaner! You are working and supporting your family, that’s how it should be. Being a cleaner is absolutely fine. A job people will always need or want!

OP absolutely no judgement from me, I've done the same myself.

Have you ever considered working in a primary school kitchen? Similar pay and amount of cleaning but fits in better with kids and school holidays.

I wish you all the best. My kids are now uni age and both have a really good work ethic because they have watched me work hard.

YABU for being ashamed. A job is a job, and it needs doing.
I can't fucking stand people looking down on others who are just making a living. I have seen some judgemental people on here. If you are in a low paid job like cleaning, you get asked what you are doing to move on from that.
There is a thread running right now where OP is bitching about being quoted £20ph for some one to clean her house, because cleaners "are not professionals" and don't "deserve" that much.

You do you, OP, and good luck with it all.

All of this.

I don’t actually think they will get negative comments but i do think they will realise how badass their mum is when you tell them your full story later.

I admire you OP and I don’t even know you! You’re doing a job that suits your life at the moment . maybe some people are snobby I guess - but I think more likely just burnt out from work / life and don’t have energy for pleasantries. Or introverted. Don’t take it personally. Relationships build slowly.

I’m so sorry you feel this way and that it’s so hard but I wanted to support you and say - chin up, it’s temporary! You are doing a great job picking yourself up from a difficult situation!

I very much respect my cleaner and all people I know also do but I appreciate there may be some people who don’t, I’m so sorry about that.

don’t yet worry about your kids and school - it is a loooooong time until they start getting remotely interested in what you do professionally and even more until they start getting ashamed. BTW being ashamed of your parents comes for all of us, when they are teens. Regardless of a job!

Your children will be proud that you are a person who earns an honest living working hard to take care of your family. Believe me, there are plenty of people who don't, and in fact they are likely to be the ones judging you, but their judgement means nothing. I have also been a cleaner and a single parent (not at the same time) and these things evolve/pass. Hold your head high. I wish you the very best.

So many of us who aren’t cleaners are also not in our dream jobs.

I’m proud of you @Jigglywigglypuff ! 💪🏻

You have no shame to bear, you're a survivor, people with half a brain have the upmost respect for cleaners

Those who judge you, they bear their own shame.

A job’s a job. There’s no shame in earning an honest living.
What’s wrong with being a cleaner. No establishment could open up with out them.

Some people will judge you for being a cleaner but they would be wrong to do so. The majority of people would not though.

You are working hard so be kind to yourself.

Nothing wrong with being a cleaner but if you want to do something else with your life, now would be the perfect opportunity to look at courses at the open uni (I know you said you are educated but it might be an idea to retrain in something which fits more around childcare) or maybe jobs in the civil service, they offer great flexible hours and various apprenticeship schemes for all ages.

What you have posted has reminded me of myself in a way... when my son was born I was very embarrassed about my job (call centre work). I worked hard to get another job and some sort of career to make him proud of me. In that time my son has been diagnosed with autism and is completely non verbal. Ironically, I was embarrassed to be doing a job my son will probably never be capable of doing, I would snap your hand off for my son to just be able to talk on the phone, something I completely took for granted and saw it as some sort of failure on my part.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make was stop worrying about what people think of you. There are much more important things in life. Best of luck to you :)

My mother has always been a cleaner since I was a child. She is a fantastic cleaner, runs a successful business, earns a decent wage out of it and supported/supports us all even now. She works for some incredibly lovely people who value her as part of their lives and is paid (and given xmas/birthday presents) accordingly. You just need some better employers OP! Your children will be proud of you no matter what you do 🥰

I think the lesson you are setting for your kids is look, no matter what, you can always get out and start again. Never be afraid to do what you need to do to get through, survive and give yourself a chance even if it may take courage and sacrifice. But that only works if you carry yourself with dignity and pride

I do see where you're coming from. I was a cleaner myself for quite a few years to fit in with my children. I remember one day having to take my child to work (unforeseen circumstances), she was about 10 and she did remark why couldn't they do their own cleaning!! She never was embarrassed by me though, although felt some injustice for me having to do it. It did however fit my lifestyle perfectly at the time and I was happy to do my own thing and generally be my own boss and work my own hours to suit. I am always very polite to waiting staff etc as I've been on the other side but at the end of the day its just a job, a good honest job and nothing to be ashamed of at all.

Both answers are partly right (in no way are you being unreasonable) I admire you for getting out there and trying to fix the shit hand you have been dealt!
Good for you keep going I hope things improve for you and soon.
I know several Mums at the school gate who clean and don’t have a bad thought about them and cleaning, those that do are going to find something not to like anyway so who cares!

I think I'd be like you because I'm very insecure due to past and ongoing trauma. I'm trying really hard to separate my "real" me from my "job" me.

I hope you can get there.

Ignore other people. You should live your life and do work that suits your child care arrangements. I had a cleaning job in addition to my main job a few years ago as was saving to buy a new house and a few people knew made commented on it. I have never understood people looking down on certain jobs, it's pathetic.

Don’t ever be ashamed about doing an honest days work to keep the roof over your head. I got made redundant during lock down and as a single parent I needed a job. As you can imagine there was very little about. I managed to get a job in a supermarket stacking shelves. I met some fantastic people and enjoyed it but it didn’t bring in enough money. I had to keep trying to get a full time better paid job. Which during lockdown was very, very difficult. When I finally managed to get an interview for a job, they wanted to know where I was currently working. When I told them about my supermarket job they praised my resilience and the fact that I’d rolled my sleeves up and done what I needed to do during lockdown was what they liked about me and I got the job!

There is ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME in being a cleaner! You are doing what you can to support and care for your family. You are offering an essential service and I for one think that is fantastic. Well done you x

Cleaning and care work are two of the most valuable jobs you can do and they’re both low paid.

I absolutely love my cleaner, she’s part of the family, and every time she comes and leaves my house cleaner and tidier with no work on my part I am so deeply grateful.

This world cannot function without cleaners.

Meh - you are fortunate to physically able to work and have found a job that fits your immediate time / mental load requirements and that ChatGPT can't do instead of you. Take pride in doing a good job, listen to all the audio versions of books you've been meaning to read but never had the time to, get a physical workout, put food on the table for your kids, pay your bills, feel good about yourself and fuck what anyone else thinks.

You need new clients....we have a cleaner that we thoroughly appreciate. She is offered coffee and we have a 5 min chat when she arrives. Would be longer but I don't want her to stay past her 3 hrs as she won't charge me and she will run over. I have no idea what all the parents at school do. The only ones i know for sure are the ones in the same profession as me and the cool one that works on movie sets! Don't think anyone cares. Just say you are self employed if you are that fussed.

You should hold your head high, you are putting food on the table for yr children, nothing is more admirable than that…you are getting out there and doing it. Well done.

Who’s to say where you’ll be in 2, 3, years time, any number of opportunities may open up to you, right now you are prioritizing your children - and warmest congratulations for that.

Huh….I honestly don’t get what is the problem or shameful with being a cleaner????

its not an easy job and it’s very needed in the world

People will judge you but they are not people you should care about. Only completely pathetic loser saddos look down on that

There is an episode of everybody loves Raymond that touches on this.

we have a cleaner. I text her every other week after she has cleaned our house to thank her for her had work and making my life so much easier a giving me back the gift of time with my kids.

I absolutely do NOT look down on her; I am so grateful for her skill, attention to detail and reliability. I have no idea why anyone would look down on a cleaner what is different from cleaning a house and servicing a car? Or programming tech? Nothing.

be proud of your job, skills, income, work ethic and role. As you should be.