To be ashamed of becoming a cleaner

I value our cleaning lady immensely, without her the house would be just dirty as I have zero time to clean, even though I enjoy cleaning and find it therapeutic.

Anyone who judges you for your job is a horrible person. I think you deserve immense respect for getting stuck in and literally getting your hands dirty.

I also think you can style this one out and turn it to your advantage. An educated, well-spoken cleaner who is not on their mobile phone all the time and speaks native English would be a godsend to most people! I imagine you could start a business or at least charge extra.

Love being a cleaner. Great job satisfaction and great clients. I was busy ironing yesterday as the 92 year old lady I work for on a Friday has hurt her arm. She'd got air conditioning on, Radio 4, gave me coffee and biscuits and we had some lovely chats.

No-one with any sense whatsoever looks down on their cleaner (or anyone who does any honest job to make a living). My cleaner comes while i'm wfh and we don't talk much as we are both working but i view her as a professional, just as I would someone who was building an extension for me, painting my living room or doing my tax return. These are all skills I don't have (or not to the same degree). That's fine, they can hire me for my services if they need someome with my skills at any point.

Pre retirement, I worked at a senior level and interviewed staff for senior posts - we always favoured applicants who had previous work experience (usually between jobs, student or during Covid) as cleaners, waiting staff, security etc. We felt that they showed a strong work ethic and had experience of dealing with others.
You should be proud of what you’re doing and one day your children will be proud too.

Why are there several cleaner related threads getting resurrected tonight?

Anyway, I mentioned it in my last comment. Some knobs on MN will look down on cleaners and berate them for not progressing in life. They can feck off.

I’ve done two cleaning jobs and they were the best jobs I ever had . No stress , left alone , and come home time I could completely switch off .

I know what you mean, people are horrible to you when you work in bottom rung jobs. I did a fair few in my student days and people literally look at you like dirt. Now I’m an academic so somehow garner respect, except I’m the same person with same feelings.

You shouldn’t be ashamed though. We all need cleaners and other similar professions. Cleaners can earn a fair amount too, especially when they own the business.

People who you really shouldn't care about will judge you, but don't take it to heart. I would be very proud of myself in your shoes. I have worked as a cleaner in a hospital when I was very young, but I'm also approaching retirement and have done very senior roles too for several decades now. It isn't a measure of who you are or what you are capable of. There is no shame in an honest living. There is shame in staying in a well-to-do relationship that doesn't teach your children the right life lessons. One day they will know that and be proud of you.

You have done what a lot of other women feel unable to do and got yourself out of an abusive marriage ...you are amazing and strong just for doing that...you will never be a failure. You are putting your children first, at a time when they need you the most. It won't be forever. If people look down their noses at you that says far more about them! I'm educated, and have been a domestic and office cleaner when my kids were small, just to fit around school hours. I actually loved it 😄 it brought in some much needed money and I found it therapeutic! In fact that's how I met my current partner, he worked at the company I cleaned for! To this day, I find myself apologising to the hospital cleaner when I walk along the corridor when he's mopping the floor 🙈If I'm fit enough I'll do cleaning again when I retire

Just to say, everyone, this thread is Mumsnet at its best 💕

You’re doing a fab job. As someone said up thread all jobs are of equal value. You’re grafting to give your kids a better life. Hold your head up high, be proud if your work and your kids will be too. And if it really bothers you, take a leaf out of Linkedin and call yourself a director of domestic hygiene consultancy. It’s not untrue.

When my neighbour died. Her cleaner was asked to dispose of the lady's personal effects, most of the furniture and clean the house, organise the gardner.

Another neighbour knowing how fond she was of the old lady helped her. There were tears but they did it. Packing up for charities they knew were favourites.

There was a dog which the cleaner adopted.

Some cleaners are treasures.

Quite right! Good cleaners are worth their weight in gold. My late in-laws' cleaner is still looking after their property and hour away from us, checking boilers and the house for leaks and keeping the place safe until we are allowed to sell it. We hopefully will have it on the market in a couple of months but she is cleaning it ready for sale which is fabulous!

Only snobby twats would judge someone for working as a cleaner. A job doesn't define someone.

My friend is a cleaner and there’s nothing wrong with it at all!
Infact, she was considered a key worker during Covid.
We need people keeping workspaces, schools and hospitals clean.

Never feel embarrassed about it!

Be proud of yourself for doing whatever work you can to earn money, provide for your kids etc. Be very proud of yourself for taking a job that evokes all those negative feelings to achieve that goal.

You’ll get there - you’re obviously a resourceful person. Be kind to yourself though!

I’m a scientist now, but I cleaned hotel
bedrooms for many years whilst I was at school and uni, and if my job ended tomorrow I wouldn’t hesitate to go back to it if it meant keeping a roof over mine and my sons heads. No one is judging you, but you! You need to be less hard on yourself.

You said it yourself, you’re a snob. Would you normally look down on somebody who is a cleaner then?

if people are treating you differently maybe it’s because of how you come across. If you’re not happy in yourself you probably aren’t very smiley or friendly so perhaps they are no longer warming to you. Your self worth and self confidence have taken a hit and you need to somehow pump yourself up. Give yourself a good talking to and don’t define yourself by your job. Define yourself as somebody who does a really good job, of whatever it is they do. Are you an excellent cleaner - are you thorough and conscientious and reliable and nice to have around? These are qualities that would make me respect somebody.

Think (make a list) of all your achievements (leaving your ex, finding work, paying bills on time, happy children etc but also small stuff)
Be proud of yourself. If you truly aren’t then try to think of things you can do that will make you feel like you’ve achieved things (e.g. get fit, learn a new hobby/skill, lose weight, declutter your house).

You need to work on your self confidence and be a more outward looking person.

I agree with pps - you are brilliant OP! The ones who should feel shame are those who don’t even acknowledge you. I work in a well known store & the former Area Manager was notorious for completely blanking some members of staff, including the cleaners - absolutely unacceptable. Bet he’d be the first to complain if the shop was dirty!

Good cleaners are worth their weight in gold

100% this. Absolutely.

OP, you are amazing 💕

Never be ashamed. I started cleaning when my self employed DH was injured and couldn't work. I was bringing in the money we needed to live whilst working around my kids. That's what you're doing and you should be proud. Now I own my own company and employ almost exclusively mums of school age kids. Hold your head up high. Where there's muck there's brass and lots of it once you get a good client base.

Do you enjoy it? I did. I found it satisfying to clean someone else's home and for some homes I created order out of chaos! Crap at doing it in my own home though.

It's my thing I think about returning to at some point. I often watch the posts on 'mothers help ' and hoarder cleaning.

Some people can not work, and given the state of the job market right now... there is no shortage of people who want to work, but there simply is not enough jobs.
So I do not think judging non-working people is fair.