To think this is really mean spirited and she can afford it?

Awful for being disappointed when her sister tells her she'll be joining them for a holiday, she tells her kids they'll be spending it with their aunty and cousin, and then she backs out under what seems like an excuse.

Yeah bloody awful!

I really think it's just the detail that the sister happens to be a single mother that is causing this reaction. Unless that's a very recent change in circumstance she will have known that, her income, and rough cost (or should have asked or looked up) at the time of agreeing.

This isn't about the sister refusing to agree to a holiday she may not be able to afford or doesn't want to go on. It's her having agreed and now backing out with kids involved.

Pretty shit imo but hey-ho I'm of the do what you say will persuasion which I've come to accept lots are not.

£1200 self catering plus spends you're looking at 2k ish for a week in the UK for an adult and child, no thanks, for that money I'm getting out of here. Maybe she feels the same.

Oh and our income is in excess of 120k. I just prioritise my money on other things.

Your DC will be fine - they are going on holiday with their parents and sibling. They'll get over the disappointment. Yes, it would have been better if she had just said no in the first place, but it isn't the big deal that you're turning it into.

Maybe the idea of staying somewhere cheaper nearby while you’re staying somewhere luxurious will make her feel rubbish and she doesn’t want to feel that way.

Perhaps she can think of lots of other things she would prefer to do with that amount of money?

I'm not being nasty, just want to point out that what seems great to you may be Meh for others?

Take her daughter and give mum a week off

YABVU for judging what is affordable for others. Maybe she genuinely can't afford it or maybe she's got other priorities. Honestly you sound a bit pushy.

We have a joint income of more than 60k and would struggle to justify spending £1.2k on a week away in the UK, especially if we were already planning a family holiday abroad. We are planning a new kitchen install later this year so there isn’t anything to spare.

It isn’t up to you how she prioritises her money.

I think you've got no business deciding what someone else can or can't afford, and certainly shouldn't be spending their money for them or pressuring them to spend money.

She'll have about £4.5k a month which isn't exactly rich, and not wanting to dip into her savings for something that isn't priority isn't a negative thing either.

You sound awful.

It’s a lot of money in my opinion for a UK holiday. She may have other priorities / plans for her money, of maybe she just doesn’t want to go and convenient to say its down to money. Yes it’s disappointing for the kids, but given she hadn’t committed they shouldn’t have been told.

I don't think a 60k income stretches as far as it used to.

im genuinely surprised people think 1,200 for a week is expensive?!

I'm with you on that (if nothing else) - I feel like I've gone back to the 90s reading this thread. £1200 isn't necessarily all that much for a week if you want a nice place in a nice area,especially in school hols. We go to the Lakes/Northumberland/Highlands a lot and will happily spend multiples of that to get a decent place away from others. Horses for courses I guess. But you are being out of order for having a go at your sister.

You sound very bossy and controlling.

She has decided she doesn’t want to spend that amount of money going on holiday with you.

Back off!

Oh and we’ve just paid £1200 for a huge barn conversion in the UK (near Whitstable), with a hot tub, large enclosed garden etc for 5 of us (3 bedrooms) so yes, £1200 does feel a lot for 2 people.

I would not spend £1000 on a week's accommodation in the UK for a holiday! I can get better than that in Greece. Guess she would prefer to spend her money (and time?) in another way.

I agree with you that it’s likely she could find the cash if she really wanted to. But she doesn’t seem to want to and that’s fair enough. She can spend her holidays how she likes.

It’s fair enough for you to be disappointed for your kids though. My dd loved getting together with her cousins.

People on MN always jump to the worst possible motivations for their family members. I mean, I assume you like your sister, as you want her to come on holiday with you? So maybe you could just think ‘ah well, she’s obviously changed her mind for some reason, what a shame’ and move on? I’m sure you can try and have a nice time with your children without them?

No it’s not a bit shit, it’s fair enough. The kids aren’t made of glass, they will be fine

I had a cottage in the UK for a week last summer for £500. £1200 is a lot. If you think it's such a negligible amount and you're so keen for her to come, why not offer to help? Kids understand that plans change and if they don't, they should. Its real life and sometimes things cant pan out how you want.

Thats a lot for two people, plus food, activities etc on top.

When I was a lone parent every penny mattered, if I lost my job there wasn’t another income to fall back on, so I had to be so careful with money so if anything did happen we could manage for a few months. I wouldn’t be surprised if she feels the same.

Yabu op..

I absolutely hate it when people do what you are doing which is prying into other peoples finances.

We have a good household income and savings but often say we can’t afford things because those things aren’t our priority.

Yes she probably shouldn’t have agreed to go, but her finances aren’t your business. She might have high outgoings or she might be saving for something or trying to be frugal.

If you really did want your children to see them, why not book a place where she could have easily just joined you for a week?

You’re not coming off particularly well here op. Sounds like you chose and booked the holiday, then expected her to fall in line with your decisions for the benefit of your children. She might not want to be the ‘poor relation’ to your extravagant booking, she might be irritated at you calling the shots on how she spends her money and time. Regardless, good for her not jumping when you say how high, let this be a lesson in searching and booking something together- why on earth aren’t you all doing a week in the same location booked at the same time?!

Can't afford = don't want to
A week in the UK is absolutely worth it if the weather is good, with one massive downpour. One of the most beautiful countries on earth!
But if the weather is bad, stuck with family having blown over £1000 (presumably before food, alcohol, ice creams etc)? Nah.