To think this is really mean spirited and she can afford it?

This
You don't know exactly how much she has left/her expenditures - she's told you she can't afford it.
It's also shitty of you to pull the "you're letting your kids down" emotional guilt trip card (I hope this is just you ranting on MN and haven't actually said that to her)

Yes we spent 4K but its for a luxury house for two weeks and two days and will be our only holiday this year.

Yet, you couldn’t have included your sister and her child and split the cost with her for the week she and your niece could be there?

Surely, you’re going to be out more than in?

I wouldn’t expect my sister to spend that much money for a holiday and my sister and I aren’t even close. If she tells me she can’t afford something, I accept it and move on.

Since you chose a luxury house, I’m wondering if the offers you sent her were of similar homes in the area since you have decided what she should be able to spend her money on.

Lots of people saying it's a lot of money for a week in the UK... it depends on where you're going and what you get for that money. £4K for 4 people is a lot, but if you're going somewhere nice and the property is decent, then it's really not.

We've got a 'holiday let' in North Norfolk. It sleeps 6 (+2) and is nearly £6K for two weeks in the Summer. But it's in a 'nice' village area, off-road parking (which is unusual in the area), has a huge south-facing garden, allows dogs, well-equipped etc, has views of the Norfolk salt-marshes which it actually backs onto and you can access from the garden, and is routinely upgraded.

So yes, it is expensive but you get a lot for it. And not everyone wants to go overseas - I certainly don't, not with a partner who works in the aviation industry. His stories have put me off flying for life.

That being said, OP sounds judgmental about her sisters finances, and doesn't get a say on how she spends her money.

£1,200 is silly money just for one week away! Yabu you don’t get to demand that she spends her money, she’s obviously struggling if your parents gift her large sums.

Who would be staying in the house?

You, your DC, her and her DC. Who else?

Sister is a single parent and pleading poverty to the extent she can’t bring herself and DD to a trip in the uk for a week in summer.

You don't have to be in poverty to be unable to afford a week-long UK holiday (especially a specific week and specific location) in the summer!! Most likely she severely underestimated the cost (which has skyrocketed post-COVID and lost all touchpoints with actual value) or she has had an unexpected expense and limited reserves to cover it. "Mean-spirited" is pretty far down the list of ways I'd think to describe her stand, but if you're bothered enough to post here about it, why not just ask her what has changed since she initially said she could come?

Having your niece join you in your larger rental for the week if there's room for her to squeeze in with her cousins sounds like a good idea and should defray a lot of their disappointment.

You have no idea so back off.

I think 60K is one of those salaries where you lose child benefit, she won’t get any universal credit or help with school costs. So to run a household on one income would be manageable but she likely isn’t loaded. Probably worse off than some on UC. Do you mean 4K split between 2 families so she would need to pay 2K? That would be a lot for us & you can’t just assume she wants to spend that amount. There will be extra costs. Even fish & chips for her & DD would be £20.

exactly this

As someone who very suddenly became a lone parent, as in other parent died so just down to me, I think you are are totally unreasonable. The costs compared to being split between a couple are significant. The world is not set up for single people. Also I had to pay huge amounts for after school and holiday clubs.

Haven’t RTFT, but can’t they stay in your luxury house for the week and treat you all to a nice meal out or a day out as a thank you?

I earn same as her, no debt except mortgage, single parent and I’m struggling to afford a short break with my children (I have £300 budget!)

Don’t underestimate the pressure she will feel going away for a week with a much better off two parent family. All the “let’s grab a coffee and cake/lunch/have a day out at a theme park..” it all adds up so so quickly and is horrible if you end up in over your head with people who don’t believe you can’t afford it, and who wouldn’t think twice about splashing some cash because they’re on holiday.

You can't just demand someone else spends £1,200. She has the right to decide how to spend her money.

I’d not take offence. I’d assume she said she’d come for 1 week before looking at prices and now looked realised how expensive it is for something she’s not that bothered about. £1200 for just accommodation for a week in uk seems expensive to me. On top of accommodation there’s eating out, day trips/activities and travel costs.

I can't get over someone spending £4k for accomodation in the UK for two weeks tbh.

We're going to Spain for a week in May and DLP for 4 days the week before Xmas...for 5...and our accomodation and travel total for both is the same per head!

So now you know. Don't expect her and her dc to come on holiday with you unless you are prepared to pay. That's how it is, no need to call someone mean-spirited for changing their mind over a holiday when that change of mind costs you nothing at all.

Same here.

You’re being really unfair. You’re making it sound like she’s loaded. She has a monthly income of less than £5000 for all her rent / mortgage, bills etc. My husband and I get slightly more than that and we wouldn’t be able to afford to spend £1.2k on a week in the UK! She’d need a lot of spending money on top of that too. I think you need a reality check.

Waiting for the drip feed where DN is actually about 15 and OPs kids are under 5s…

Sleeverr
Your sister doesn't want to go on holiday with you
And perhaps like you've said doesn't want to spend her own money on something she's not keen on anyway

It's none of your business as to why or not she can't afford it and there's probably a big backstory. If she doesn't want to come just accept it. Haven't RTFT

Cool. That doesn’t mean it is though does it.

So you're in a 'luxury' place and she was to find somewhere 'nearby'? Yeah, I'd not go either tbh. I'm also assuming that anything other than the accomodation is addition ££ to pay. It's perfectly reasonable for her to change her mind and she can do it for any reason she likes.
Any reason you couldn't find a place you could stay together? You'd still have a week as a family before/after she left.

Her child, who "probably won't even have a holiday at all now" will be just fine. Yearly holidays are not essential. Especially if it would be foolish financially 🤷‍♀️

Is it all inclusive OP? DH Does it include all travel and transfers? Are days out and activities included? Food? For £1200 in the U.K. I’d need them all to be included to even begin to be able to afford it. I had no holidays with my kids as a single parent. I think you are living in a very cushy bubble with no idea what reality for a lot of other people is like. After tax, mortgage, council tax, food, etc £60k doesn’t go that far especially if you’re a lone parent. Why don’t you offer to pay? You seem loaded!

Tbh, I wouldn't be spending that amount of money for a holiday in the uk!