Yet another absent father blaming 'the system'

Yes but there is no magic rule that means you have to stay in indefinitely. There is a 12 month notice period. He DID have a choice to leave. He made a choice to stay.

No one knows, and yet based on literally nothing you’ve decided he was abusive? Odd.

There's a reason he wasn't granted custody. Military men are known for being controlling and abusive. No one on this thread knows what their situation was and why she moved but it sounds typically abusive to me.

Yes but there is no magic rule that means you have to stay in indefinitely. There is a 12 month notice period. He DID have a choice to leave. He made a choice to stay.

For clarity, yes of course the boy's mother was awful. Truly, I could write you an essay on DSD's deceased mother who was an alcoholic.

But really I think this man could have done more. He could have left his job and found another job because that's what parents have to do sometimes. Tough choices. He chose to prioritise his career.

I also noted the lack of mention of a court case / custody. A very notable absence there.

And I wonder why he didn't just let the mum call the police when she threatened to. I would, if I was that worried about my child inside the house with my ex. In fact, I'd be saying 'go on then, please do'.

As for people suggesting I am unfairly blaming him more than the mother and local services - I do agree there were other failures. But he's chosen to take part in this news article, presenting it as though this situation is entirely down to the failings of others. I think he can join the list of people who failed his son.

The same reason I wouldn't class someone as a good mother if she let her Ex husband take the kids abroad and decided to stay in her current country with her new partner.

There's a reason he wasn't granted custody. Military men are known for being controlling and abusive. No one on this thread knows what their situation was and why she moved but it sounds typically abusive to me.

There's a reason he wasn't granted custody. Military men are known for being controlling and abusive. No one on this thread knows what their situation was and why she moved but it sounds typically abusive to me.

Why?

lol. Even when a mother is this awful it has to be a man’s fault?
Some women are just shitty people, the same as some men are.

I wouldn't class him as a good father.

Would you have let him move abroad taking the kids with him while you stay in your current country?

I wouldn't class him as a good father.

Would you have let him move abroad taking the kids with him while you stay in your current country?

I think your post is massively insensitive. You can't possibly know everything about his circumstances from a news article.

Enjoy your rage.

When my ex and I separated, I took our children and returned to my country of birth, while he remained in his country of employment, with his new partner. He wasn't a citizen of my country and would have torpedoed his career, and my children's financial stability, if he had followed us. I could have stayed in the country where he was working, as I also had a job there. I chose to return to my family, and he didn't stand in my way. Should he be put on some kind of 'neglectful parent register' for that?

You can't police people's personal choices that closely.

That has reminded me that I saw something yesterday about people going on some sort of register like the sex offenders' register if they neglect their child.

Does that mean if the mother neglects her child (eg going clubbing and leaving her baby in a cot at home) that the absent father will go on the register too?

yes he could have done more. If my ex partner had moved away with my kids then i’d have relocated to have equal custody, not gone to work overseas. My ex also went to work overseas when we split. I had a very serious health issue, and no-one local to take the kids had I needed to go to A&E. It was tough doing it all alone. He didn’t need to work overseas. It was a choice. I also had dreams, but have had to wait until they are 18, which is soon. My ex continued with his career plans regardless, then blamed me that they hadn’t gone overseas too as I wouldn’t let them (no, funnily enough, I didn’t want my kids going overseas for a nanny to care for them whilst he worked long hours).

When I read this I read abusive ex that she was trying to get away from who kept ringing social services and his son's school to harass her through authority figures until she started drinking again.

A medic in the army - are you classifying all Forces parents as absent just because they split from the other parent and may get deployed abroad?

I‘d condemn any absent and neglectful fathers but I am not convinced in this case.

When my ex and I separated, I took our children and returned to my country of birth, while he remained in his country of employment, with his new partner. He wasn't a citizen of my country and would have torpedoed his career, and my children's financial stability, if he had followed us. I could have stayed in the country where he was working, as I also had a job there. I chose to return to my family, and he didn't stand in my way. Should he be put on some kind of 'neglectful parent register' for that?

You can't police people's personal choices that closely.

Did noone read the article? He was in the army. You work where you are sent and you can't just leave because it's no longer convenient.