Daughter’s head of year and tit for tat

Why was your daughter crying in class to the extent that she was sent to the Head of Year?

Why did her panic attack lead to her gong to the loo and staying/hiding there for half an hour instead of going straight back to class as she had been told to do.

Did she apologise to the teacher for not obeying her instruction and offering up her panic attack as to why she did this? Did you?

Do you think it is easy for a teacher trying to teach her subject to a class studying for an exam and to also have to deal with a girl who is crying in class and refuses to follow instructions?

Why do you think a 15 year old girl hiding in the loo for 30 minutes is a safeguarding issue?

How did the teacher find her Tik Tok account if it only has her first name? Unless her name is Esmerelda Diamond Greeneye, how on earth did she know it was there? Was it just a lucky guess? If it was, ask her for the Lottery numbers!

You won't be the only parent to be duped.

Have you had a word with your daughter about all this or do you think she is entirely blameless?

Wow. You sound like you really dislike the school and the teachers. I wouldn't see it as a safeguarding complaint that your Year 10 daughter was in the loo for too long. Teachers have lots of training on safeguarding around internet issues, so presumably were only trying to be helpful. If this is how you feel about the school, I would suggest you move her and try to work with her new school to support your child.

The teacher has suggested there is a safeguarding concern about which the OP is unaware. How in the world would it NOT help for the OP to know what this is rather than have to speculate from hints?
She should copy in the head because in the event she is correct and the teacher was making baseless remarks, well, it's not very helpful of her, is it? If the teacher was acting appropriately there's nothing to be concerned about in the head knowing, is there?

Presumably she chose the 1 on 1 time to mention it for a reason - maybe not to alert dd that she was giving you the heads up?

It seems highly unlikely that an experienced member of staff from a secondary school would be trying to raise that your dd has a blank anonymous and unused tik tok account (whats the point? Why isn't it private? What's she exposed to?). Far far more likely that they are aware that your dd is sharing or interacting or connecting in a concerning way.

You are directing your energy in the wrong places imo. Your year 10 child is crying in class, wandering corridors, hiding in toilets and having panic attacks. There is clearly something really wrong going on for her. I would very much want to hear about anything at all that could be going on for them and affecting them negatively, including online. I would not be directing my ire and thoughts to how a teacher said something.

Of course parents can exit a school unaccompanied. I've never once been accompanied out of a school after a meeting.

I suspect the OP would have understood if the HoY's intentions were good. She could have raised the TikTok thing in the meeting.

The same woman sent a distressed young person who is already struggling in school straight back to class. The girl was so upset that she hid in the toilets.

In all walks of life there are unkind people. It's ridiculous and frankly dangerous to assume that all teachers are good, kind people just because they are teachers.

If it’s only your dds first name how does the HOY know it’s her? Bearing in mind I know nothing about TikTok, unless your dd has a really unusual name how did she find it?

I've seen teachers being smarmy from both within the staff room and as a parent. It's a very difficult position to be in. Once a teacher takes a dislike to you or your child or your child's needs it's hard to win. Is it a one off?, can you let it go?, are there enough teachers to dilute the one/s being awkward?, or is it symptomatic of a situation with several teacher/s? Unless a new head teacher is imminently coming into the school and forcing a culture change you might need to consider changing school. We did once when a class teacher started picking on one of ours and we didn't regret it.

I assume the meeting was to address the issue of child going back to class (or in fact no going back to class) upset. If the outcome of this meeting was satisfactory then it seems sensible to move on rather than create drama over a safeguarding comment.

She's probably got another account you don't know about

no wonder teachers leave the profession- HOY accompanies parent to the exit - standard procedure as adults are not permitted to wander around the school unaccompanied- gives advice re TikTok account and safeguarding and your opinion is that op’s Dd should be safeguarded from someone like that…
how dare teachers offer advice and support!

😂 You got me! Clever you!

You definitely need to ask the HOY how she knows about it? Could she be getting your daughter’s account mixed up with another pupil? In which case, the other pupils parents might need approaching about something?

She could have another phone.

Or perhaps the HOD asked her friends. Do her friends know about it?

so how did the HOY know about it?

You need to focus on what your child is struggling with.
Is he medicated? Does it need adjusting?
Does she have an ECHP? If not apply for an ECHNA yourself.
Is she recieving any mental health support? School can usually refer to level 1 services which are often able to see her fairly quickly.

Thats why you could do with the HoY help with knowing how they know about the TikTok account.

Could be someone's told the HoY but its so common for 15 y/o I cant imagine a pupil telling her.

Because she did it outside of the meeting where the rest of the staff were. It feels underhand. She sent an upset child back out of her room to go back to class. The head of year who I got to know really well at my child's school would never have done this.

@ThisNewCyanBiscuit I would do exactly what @5128gap said and question it in a paper trail.

On Tiktok, can you see what other users have liked? Or who their friends/followers are?

There will be people in your DD's class that she has interracted with on Tiktok.

You haven't explained why your daughter was upset. Perhaps the Hoy thought there was no good reason why she should be out of class. Your daughter decided she didn't want to return so hid in toilets. She is 15. She knows she should not do this. You have cited Adhd and mental health but give no evidence about this. Perhaps the hoy feels you are making excuses for your daughter who doesn't want to do as she is told. Sorry to be harsh but this is probably how the hoy is thinking. I am surprised nothing is already in place for a child who really needs support.

So is the HOY psychic, or something?

It's called an opinion and a view on the OP's experience.

You can disagree but really you're bonkers if you can't understand that.

Well then, your DD's Tiktok clearly isn't as untraceable as you think it is.