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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this rude or not ?

31 replies

IsabellaCoral · 04/03/2026 15:30

Situation - out for dinner and drinks with my parents.

The subject of DH’s family comes up, talking about a family wedding.

My mum says to DH that she thinks his niece’s new DH is ‘ugly’ and ‘rude’. She wonders why the niece chose this guy, and thinks it was a bad choice.

She says he is rude as when she met him once at an unrelated event, he didn’t come and say hello to her. Also mum’s friend who was at the same event, also thinks the new niece DH is ugly and rude.

When we say no, he’s actually really nice and not ugly, she repeats it.

Rude to say this to DH or just an opinion as it is ‘just a niece’ and not a close family relative.

YABU - just an opinion and OK to say to DH
Yanbu- it is rude and keep it to yourself

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 04/03/2026 15:41

Incredibly rude. What did your DH say?!

ReadingCrimeFiction · 04/03/2026 15:40

I could.probably be convinced her opinion that the man is rude is ok for her to have and even to say. Based on why she thinks he is rude, I would probably disagree with her and tell her that her expectations are quite high.

But the ugly? Beyond rude and very inappropriate whether he is the least or most attractive man on the planet.

bringthewashingin · 04/03/2026 15:36

Very rude!

purplecorkheart · 04/03/2026 15:36

Your mother sounds rude and I suspect this maybe why he did not approach her at another event - also why was it up to him to approach her. Your mother could equally easily approached them. Your poor DH, he seems to have got a gem of a mother in law.

Wishimaywishimight · 04/03/2026 15:33

The phrase "pot / kettle" springs to mind. Your mother sounds rude and unpleasant and referring to someone as "ugly" is just horrible.

Arlanymor · 04/03/2026 15:32

Your mum said that your DH's niece’s new DH is ‘ugly’ and ‘rude’.

Wow.

Your mum is the rude one. What a thing to say to someone. Has she never had the saying: "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all"? Regardless of whether it was his niece's new husband, his work colleague or the person who delivers the post - it's a crappy, unkind thing to say about anyone. Unnecessary.