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Original poster

Keeping DD off school due to period

260 replies

Girlymum26 · 04/03/2026 12:28

My DD is 10 years old and is in year 5 at school and just started her period for the first time on Sunday evening this week and she came and told me as soon as she noticed.

We have had plenty of chats about it and she’s had the lessons in school so knows all about it and why she had them and even about changing pads and she seemed to take it in her stride, although a little bit embarrassed.

I was at work on Monday and Tuesday this week and my husband made her go to school as he does the drop of these days and said it’s “just a period” and that she couldn’t stay off school for it. I had no say in it as start work at 6am.

She’s leaked both Monday and Tuesday and she said she’s really sore where her pads have been rubbing her skin and leaking and her tummy hurts so I’ve kept her off today as it’s my day off.

Ive given her some calpol, some sudocreme for her sore rash and ordered some of the lil-lets teen pads which are more narrow so shouldn’t rub anymore and got some period pants too to protect against any leaks. We are just having a quiet girly day to help her get to grips with it all but I’ve explained she will need to go to school tomorrow and Friday.

I’ve called school and explained why she wasn’t in and they were really sympathetic and her teacher called me back and has said she can go to toilet during lessons if she wants to change her pad as it was turns out she was too embarrassed to change it when anyone else was in the bathroom at the same time and that is she’s going to struggle with PE this week they won’t make her do it.

Husband is not happy I’ve kept her off and said I’m making a rod for my own back even though I’ve explained it’s just for today, to help her out a bit.

AIBU to have kept her off do you think?

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 04/03/2026 16:50

Firstly it's so difficult for young girls. She's 10.just a little girl! Your DH needs a talk in how to get.in touch with his feminine side.can u get her some period pants may be better for her.i.dont think.any problem with a day.off now and then.Italy is advocating for time off for periods apparently.

scottishgirl69 · 04/03/2026 16:48

DaisiesButtercups · 04/03/2026 16:44

Some of us have extremely painful periods than prevent us from walking.

Show quote history

I did say in my post above that I suffered from heavy periods and pain most of my adult life - assuming that that isn't the case for the OPs daughter - there's no reason why she can't do PE. She's a swimmer according to other posts

Charltonstrek · 04/03/2026 16:46

Id be mega disappointed if my husband responded to my dd and her 1st period like that.

Whatnameisif · 04/03/2026 16:46

If my daughter has periods like me (light, not painful), no chance of giving her a day off school.

My friend's child gets excruciating pain and floods through period pants in which case I would be much more sympathetic.

DaisiesButtercups · 04/03/2026 16:44

scottishgirl69 · 04/03/2026 16:42

Why do girls with periods need to be excused from PE? I was twelve when I started mine - and I suffered from heavy periods and cramping/clotting for a lot of my life - but I still did PE. I personally think we need to normalise periods - exercise isn't bad when someone has their period . I'm an ex fitness instructor and I taught classes through painful heavy periods. The only potential issues could be leaks - but these things happen. She'll be doing PE until she leaves school most likely.

I know some women suffer much more than I did - but when my periods were at their heaviest I was using super plus tampons and a sanitary towel as well.

Show quote history

Some of us have extremely painful periods than prevent us from walking.

scottishgirl69 · 04/03/2026 16:42

Jimmy5bellies · 04/03/2026 15:36

I wouldn't keep her off unless she was obviously unwell. I would give her paracetamol before school, period pants and a note excusing her from PE.

Why do girls with periods need to be excused from PE? I was twelve when I started mine - and I suffered from heavy periods and cramping/clotting for a lot of my life - but I still did PE. I personally think we need to normalise periods - exercise isn't bad when someone has their period . I'm an ex fitness instructor and I taught classes through painful heavy periods. The only potential issues could be leaks - but these things happen. She'll be doing PE until she leaves school most likely.

I know some women suffer much more than I did - but when my periods were at their heaviest I was using super plus tampons and a sanitary towel as well.

WhatNextImScared · 04/03/2026 16:40

What a lovely young man you’re raising in her older brother. This new generation of young men can teach their dads a thing or two!

user64788643122 · 04/03/2026 16:38

You did the right thing. My dd started in the school holidays and I was so relieved she had space to work out what worked for her. The best thing she has used is Wuka pants. They look like normal pants, last a full school day, and are really comfy.

SoMentallyDrained · 04/03/2026 16:38

Girlymum26 · 04/03/2026 16:24

Thank you to everyone who has replied, finally catching up with all the posts.

Weve had a quiet day of cuddles, hot water bottles and chatting about how often to change pads, just so she doesn’t get so sore (and for hygiene).

We’re very lucky that her teacher is supportive. They have sanitary bins in every cubicle in the girls toilets in year 5 and 6 which is good.

Ive ordered some period pants already but im grateful to those who mentioned they do period swimwear too, shes a competitive swimmer for the youth team in local area so at least she won’t have to stop doing that.

I’m going to be having a strict word with her dad tonight, he needs to be more supportive as I often do 12 hour shifts at work whilst he’s mostly WFH so she may need to approach him at some point. My mother in law is pretty proactive (and also retired) so could be on hand if need be if I’m not around.

Her 16 year old brother overheard the conversation with school (he’s first year sixth form so wasn’t in this morning) and his response was to go out and buy her some chocolate ❤️

Congratulations on raising a lovely son, if only more were like this, and not like his dad!

Maray1967 · 04/03/2026 16:37

SoMentallyDrained · 04/03/2026 12:46

When was your husband's last period? Oh, he hasn't had one? No say then unfortunately.

This. If i’d had DDs my DH would have known better not to try to argue with me about periods and school absence.

Letsgoforaskip · 04/03/2026 16:34

Ah I just have to say how lovely you sound and her brother going out to buy her chocolate almost made me cry 🥰
I was made to feel ashamed of my periods and it’s great that things have progressed so well in some respects.
I do feel for your DD starting so young, but it’s sounds as though she has some amazing support ❤️💐

ThanksVeryMuch · 04/03/2026 16:24

One of ours started their periods at 10. It would never have occurred to us to keep her off, many of her friends started young too.

The best approach imo is a positive one, they've years of it and if you frame it as an illness how on earth will they cope. Brufen and paracetamol are effective for any pain.

We need to teach our daughters to be resilient and capable not baby them and encourage sickies for a very normal monthly event.

Original poster
Girlymum26 · 04/03/2026 16:24

Thank you to everyone who has replied, finally catching up with all the posts.

Weve had a quiet day of cuddles, hot water bottles and chatting about how often to change pads, just so she doesn’t get so sore (and for hygiene).

We’re very lucky that her teacher is supportive. They have sanitary bins in every cubicle in the girls toilets in year 5 and 6 which is good.

Ive ordered some period pants already but im grateful to those who mentioned they do period swimwear too, shes a competitive swimmer for the youth team in local area so at least she won’t have to stop doing that.

I’m going to be having a strict word with her dad tonight, he needs to be more supportive as I often do 12 hour shifts at work whilst he’s mostly WFH so she may need to approach him at some point. My mother in law is pretty proactive (and also retired) so could be on hand if need be if I’m not around.

Her 16 year old brother overheard the conversation with school (he’s first year sixth form so wasn’t in this morning) and his response was to go out and buy her some chocolate ❤️

OP posts:
Kerrylass · 04/03/2026 16:14

My DD was also 10 when her 1st period started and it seems so unfair. Period pants from Primark were brilliant for her. She was very comfortable and she didn't need to change during school day.

Ansjovis · 04/03/2026 16:14

I'm guessing that the number of periods your husband has had is... zero. That's also the amount of say he should get in this matter. Sounds like you are doing great!

flyingbuttress43 · 04/03/2026 16:10

Oh look. Twatty husband brings mansplaining to a whole new level. Silly sod.

Teenageboymum · 04/03/2026 16:07

I period no opinion.

Dollymylove · 04/03/2026 16:05

Im with you OP. 10 is young to start periods, and she needs a little time to get used to it and find the right pads that are comfortable. Its a difficult time. I remember going to school on my first period and I felt embarrassed and awkward as if everyone would know, and I was older at 13
For a ten year old I wouldn't send her to school. A couple of days off wonr hurt.

DuchessofStaffordshire · 04/03/2026 16:01

I'd actually like to see how men would cope with this, as well as childbirth. There would be hospital wards full of them is my bet. I think you sound like a great mum 😊

viques · 04/03/2026 15:59

Hope your dd is having a good day at home with mum. I also hope that her school has made good arrangements for Y5 and Y6 girls who are menstruating.

At my old school ALL year five and six girls were annually at the start of the school year given information about where to get emergency period products in school , we had made up packs including a change of pants and wipes - there were several named staff in case of absence - and also where to dispose of used pads ( there was a little private toilet / sink/ bin next to the medical room that they were allowed to use ) , there was also a second sanitary towel bin in a toilet next to the Y6 classrooms.

I think the advent of period pants has been a revelation and a welcome revolution, but we all know it is easy to be caught out. I think all primary schools should have period arrangements in place, but sadly many don’t. If I had a daughter at Primary school this is something I would be asking about.

northernballer · 04/03/2026 15:54

My DD is 14 and not started yet and I will 100% keep her off if necessary- at year 5 there is no question if she needs it!

Skybunnee · 04/03/2026 15:53

When I first had periods (later put on the pill) I would sit on the loo with diarrea?sp, whilst leaning over the sink being sick. Severe cramps and heavy flow. Horrible. Thankfully things are better today.

Skybunnee · 04/03/2026 15:50

Show DH the blood soaked clothing due to leaks -surely he can think back then to school and how embarrassing blood soaked clothing would be -and how cruel children can be - he sounds clueless- don’t hide the d pads from him - I’m not sure why they are chafing. Maybe too wet so she needs supplied with bags for used pads so she can change more often.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/03/2026 15:50

Jimmy5bellies · 04/03/2026 15:36

I wouldn't keep her off unless she was obviously unwell. I would give her paracetamol before school, period pants and a note excusing her from PE.

Well op couldn't manifest period pants for today, she was unwell I that she had a sore rash somewhere delicate and her tummy hurts. As a one day one off that's pretty reasonable

arethereanyleftatall · 04/03/2026 15:47

Catza · 04/03/2026 15:41

Then, perhaps, you could redirect your passion to campaigning for monthly sick day for women of the UK rather than insinuating that I have no empathy or imagination. I, unfortunately, was a teenager sick in bed with period pains and multiple cases of accidental analgesia overdose so I don't need imagination to comprehend that some women have painful periods. However, periods is something that women need to manage for decades and to be able to talk about them openly. Therefore, I believe (and I don't suggest that everyone should believe the same) that teaching young women that it is something our bodies do is better than to perpetuate the idea that it is an illness or something to be ashamed of.
And before you come at me, I am talking about periods in the absence of a diagnosed or suspected medical condition such as PCOS or endometriosis.

Show quote history

A monthly sick day for all women isn’t a very good idea, and will result in further discrimination against women, and isn’t needed for all.

what is a good idea however, is if Betty is in pain due to her period , is not to dismiss it with ‘get on with it,Sandra can’.
I have never said anyone should be ashamed of their period, not sure why you’ve written that.

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