Keeping DD off school due to period

Ah, mine is same boat 10yo y5. Started around oct. Luckily had no pain. But it is much younger than most peers. Mine is pretty tall.
ive found pads crap last few years so not surprised they leak. I think they just arent thick enough so squash and move

First time, I can get but I don’t think it’s wise to continue for months or she’ll be missing a week of school every month and, unfortunately, it is part of life.

Has she tried period pants?
She could use a pad too for double protection?

School used to phone my dad who would pick me up and take me home. I fainted twice. My dad was lovely. Mum would put me to bed with painkillers and a brandy.

It's this kind of 'chin up and soldier on ' crap that made me go through life thinking horrendous pain and using two super extra tampons and a pad and flooding every 45 mins was what I was expected to endure as a woman.

Sometimes, it's ok to wuss out.

For a first period it's absolutely fine to take time out to learn how to handle bleeding. So at least she was getting to learn what is normal. And what is normal for her. And when to ask for help.

Not everyone has a light period with no pain and can soldier on, I mean FFS.

gosh I hope you don’t give this advice to parents. Normality is not what needed if the child is upset and struggling with tummy ache, emotions and self care. It’s fine for her to have one day off. Sending her into school feeling upset, unsure and in pain for the sake of normality really would not be the right option here.

Just want to send you both a big hug. It's too much for a little one to get their head around. My daughter started at 11 and is still having leaks, still freaks out about having to change at school, hates it all!

For some reason we have concluded that mensuration sounds like Minstrels (the chocolates) and so they must be eaten at time of the month for medicinal purposes...

I would absolutely let her have the day off.

We bought:
Cute little bags for pads (amazon)
Nappy bags for used pads (I explained that it's ok to bring a dirty pad home in a bag if no bin in school loo)
Lillets teen pads
wipes - you can get mini packs
black knickers
Minstrels (not to be taken to school)
Calpol melts (10 might be a bit young to have meds...)

https://www.modibodi.co.uk/collections/teen-underwear

she has these and they are a game changer

my daughter wear period knickers and doesn’t need to wear a pad. She goes takes a fresh pair in her bag which is much easier and quieter to change if she needs to but she’s never needed to change at school it lasts from 8am until the evening time no problem. Depending on how heavy your daughter periods are would this be an option? So much easier than pads.

Oh bless her! I would also keep her off for her first period. It's miserable enough when they are older, but Y5 my goodness that's so little.
I would also suggest getting her period pants (Modi bodi are amazing) - With my DDs it allowed them to forget about it for the whole school day and the swimming ones meant they didn't miss their activities either.

You need to support your child in learning to cope with stuff in life, not wussing out! Better sanpro and paracetamol are what is called for here! I teach year 6 and have had parents come to me when their daughters have started and asked me if i can discreetly check in with the girl. I've also had girls who have started at school and even on residential and helped sort them out and reassure them. She will be fine! Please dont make this into a bigger thing than it need be or you risk making her anxious. Normality is what is needed when changes happen!

Sorry but your husband sounds arrogant and insensitive. He's never experienced this himself and has zero clue. Starting periods at 10 must be very difficult to navigate - your daughter deserves support, not judgement. So glad she has you and her kind teacher. He sounds like a prat.

You are not unreasonable at all, you sound like a lovely caring mum who did the right thing.

Your husband on the other hand…

All the people saying it’s not an illness this is a 10 year old child navigating a massive life change! It can definitely be like an illness if you experience significant pain.

Op definitely not unreasonable to keep her off. I would be so disappointed in DH for not being supportive especially after she had leaked! Next time he’s ill maybe he needs to be told it’s just a headache/cough whatever and that he should stop moaning

To quote Rachel in Friends - no uterus no opinion! Your DH doesn't understand.

You are doing the right thing by DD. My DD used the Lillets pads for a few years as she couldn't stand anything bigger. In the early days, she didn't change her pad due to forgetting (SEN) and she absolutely stank, so it is important that they understand the need and that they do change pads frequently. DD was allowed to use the disabled toilet in primary as there weren't any sanitary bins in the girls toilets. Period pants are great too for extra security

Just make it clear to DD that it's a one off while she gets to grips with everything and that she will have to go to school/work etc (barring extreme problems).

I have endo and often had to take time off school and work due to having agonizing periods, but DD has thankfully been OK.

Yes in the words of Rachel to Ross:

No uterus; no opinion.

I remember getting my first period the day before a camping/driving holiday in France with my mum and her then boyfriend. I was older than your daughter but found it all very difficult because I had no idea how to decide if I needed to change and was really worried about leaking. I have a lot of sympathy for your daughter and think keeping her at home as a one off is fine.

She is only 10!!! Of course you let her stay off while she navigates her first period. Aside from the physical aspect, she will be navigating her emotions too.

This is a huge event for her and I would absolutely keep my dd off school while she processes this fundamental biological change in her young life.

I would be deeply disappointed in her father opposing this. He needs to develop some compassion and sit this one out.

Also agree that your DH needs to back the fuck off. Tell him in no uncertain terms YOU will support your DD through this and he gets absolutely no input.

Period pain can feel like you are sick so definitely keep her home until it passes and I'd do the same any month it happens not just a one off. The 3rd day of period can be the worst.
Your husband needs a talking to and a reality check. Would he go to work bleeding with stomach ache?

Get her some teen period pants so she doesn’t need to change during the school day - that might make a difference about how she feels about it and prevent leaking

My eldest got hers at 9 . It was awful for her to navigate in school . So we did end up having her stay home the first couple of days . Then it was quite light and manageable. She also didnt get it every month at first .
She was very distraught every time she did get it .
We did get called in to a meeting and i explained the reasons and thankfully the school had no problems and we did work at home those days .

Year 5 is young. Bless her. Get her some period knickers though. My dd is 12 and loves them. Your husband doesn’t get an opinion on periods

It is some kind of an illness if she has a tummy ache

As a one off, I’d say it’s fine.

Bless her. Year 5 is young. I'd have kept her off too. Not always, but definitely first time. Period pants are a wonderful invention!