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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so sad my Dc is an only

31 replies

Wherewillthisallendup · 04/03/2026 11:53

And to wish i’d been able to have more children

Due to infertility it took years to have our Dd, we were obviously over the moon she arrived as we didn’t believe it would ever happen. The younger years especially were the happiest of my life
I would have loved more children and feel guilt and sadness that she doesn’t have a sibling which she asks me about sometimes.
I have one frozen embryo left over from the ivf process but am 48 now

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 04/03/2026 12:01

There are pros and cons to everything in life! And we make up for stuff that might be lacking by making other things richer.
and we don’t really miss what we’ve never had as long as we are loved. Eg my kids never got a grandad as they both died, I know what they missed out on but they know no different.

florafoxtrot · 04/03/2026 12:00

YANBU to feel sad, infertility is devastating and isolating. You are entitled to feel sad sometimes that your life isn't as you'd hoped. However try not to second guess that your daughter is missing a sibling or be sad on her behalf as truthfully she doesn't know any different and I expect you are giving her the most amazing life. We struggled for a long time to have a second and as much as DD loves her sister, she often reflects very fondly on the time when she was an only and in truth I don't think she is "better off" for having a sibling.

Peonies12 · 04/03/2026 11:59

We're one-and-done by choice (although partly decided due to a miscarriage with first pregnancy) and I don't feel sad for my daughter - she hasn't had siblings so she can't miss it. We are able to give so much more to her as an only, and she has cousins and friends. Sorry you are struggling with this, if it's affecting you daily I'd consider getting some counselling to accept the situation. it's so common to be an only child nowadays, i read soon it will be the majority of families in UK / EU countries.

confusedaboutaet · 04/03/2026 11:58

Can you use the frozen embryo ?

Ninerainbows · 04/03/2026 11:57

MrThorpeHazell · 04/03/2026 11:55

Speaking as an only child, I think YABU.

But then I would say that.

Same. Never wanted siblings, don't miss what I never had, DH has a sister he speaks to about once a year.
Get a bit sick of it being spoken about like a life-sentence of misery to be honest.

I'm sorry you weren't able to have more though, OP.

MrThorpeHazell · 04/03/2026 11:55

Speaking as an only child, I think YABU.

But then I would say that.

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