Dh always miserable on birthday

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Lol Ugh, didn't work. It's a gif that shows Salem the cat in a car moving but it's not moving.

If he hates it so much I’d completely ignore it every year from now on.

My Dh hates his birthday he didn't have a great childhood and it stems from that. We just used to do token presents when the kids were small no fuss and go out for dinner, or a take away, . Your Dd doesn't need to be part of the planning and fuss, just scale back next year it is fine.

Can’t get that picture out of my head now! 😁

Just say "cheer up luv, it might never 'appen" (👈 joke)
Obviously there might be any number of reasons - ask him, basically.

That’s exactly what I do, I think OP should try it going forward

I once emailed 101 and reported a black 'cat' travelling at speed! 🙈

Is he always miserable? Do you think he has depression? He may need therapy. Get him to see a Dr.

Lol shame I noticed that and corrected it.

Will you be teaching her to force other people into your idea of fun even if it's not what they want?

God, I'd love a new car for my birthday! 🤭😁

No one has to " tiptoe" round him. Just hand over a card , say happy birthday and job done. It's quite simple

Well it's certainly not about the person whose birthday it is, if you've fully read the thread.

Only on Mumsmet could giving a present & singing happy birthday be construed as making that person’s birthday all about you 😂

I won’t be teaching my DD to tiptoe around a sulking man in any case 😁

A chance for you to dispense with them.

Yeah you’re focussing on your daughter on your husband’s birthday, no wonder he’s annoyed.

Is it because he doesn't want to show gratitude OP?
That if he acts happy then he's acknowledging that you're doing something nice and he can't allow himself to do that?
Does he make any effort with you and DD? is he generally loving and giving?
Obviously it could be that he doesn't want any fuss but for me it depends on how he is the other 365 days a year.
P.S I don't want fuss on my birthday but always show my gratitude to my DH/DC for any effort they make.

I learned quite quickly not to make an effort for my DH’s birthday. After a couple years of being together, I stopped doing anything special. I buy a card from the children and chocolates and hand them to him and say happy birthday.
He seems just happy with that. I go overboard with the kids birthdays instead.

Maybe he doesn't want the fuss Sounds as though it's more for you DC than him anyway.

I hate birthdays and always have! I never take the day off work and have never had a party, if others want to for their birthdays then that’s great but it’s just not for me. And it’s even worse now I’m getting older and don’t particularly want to celebrate another year!

My DH and DC make a big fuss on Mother’s Day instead which works fine for me, maybe you could find a similar compromise with your DH?

I don't dislike birthdays, but my mum wasn't a very nice person and our birthdays (mine and my brothers) were never celebrated. When I turned 21 she said I needed to be buy her a gift bc without her I wouldn't be here.

So to me it's just another day. I make a fuss of my husband, sons, grandmas bday (parents have both passed) but not for my own. x

Edited to say i don't agree with how he reacted to you making an effort. Its incredibly sweet what you did and he was rude to not even force a smile for DD or say thank you x

I do understand feeling down' but when someone does something for you, that's a different matter. I can feel that you and your child would have felt deflated. In times that I have felt extremely down I have not been like that with my children, but that is just me and we are not all the same.

I sympathize with you. If you talk to him about it he will likely not be able to see his own behavior, he may think you shouldn't expect him to be happy about what you did for him, what can I say apart from Men are not as empathetic or emotional as us women. I appreciate what you did for him.

@Blackeyedsun Do you even like your husband? Because you seem to be very focused on the fact he is just a miserable git and how he's ruining HIS BIRTHDAY for your DC.

You are scoffing at anyone who suggests maybe he would prefer something different than your tradition or how maybe he should be allowed to choose how to spend HIS birthday.

You seem to be the one making the decisions and just deciding whatever you do he'll be miserable. I think I'd be miserable too if I wasn't allowed an opinion on my own birthday.

Not once it has already been done but it's selfish and rude of any spouse to push it and encourage the child to get all excited about something that they know the other adult will hate thereby forcing the adult to go along with it and come up with a fake reaction.

OP is insistent this isn't the case and that her DH definitely wants all this fuss but with no indication she's actually checked with him and every suggestion she encourages it for her DD's sake in the first place.