Late 40s / Early 50s - Is This What You Expected?

I was on transdermal HRT (through one of those medical concierge services / online women’s health service) but my GP and gynae were not happy so asked me to stop. My next step would be to check with a neurologist which I haven’t been to in years. I do get extreme migraines though and 2 types so not sure if this is what was making them nervous.

Same.i give my all to all and im left wondering why i bother

I get my CBD oil on private script through my dr (Australia). Melatonin I used to buy on iherb.

Sorry to those who have been dealt a health or other blow.

Quite a lot of my friends retired in their early to mid fifties as they’d bought two or more London properties in their early twenties and rented them out. Most have sold in the last few years and pocketed around £350-£600k plus took their pensions at 55. Ordinary public sector workers. There was a short period of time when you could get 100% (or even extra to buy furniture) mortgages, interest only.

Most have been world travelling post covid or bought holiday homes abroad. One lives abroad but travels back frequently and still has a rented out uk place. A couple have returned to part time work just for the structure and company but don’t need to work financially. Several have bought campervans!

I can see this happening soon with millennials who will inherit massive property wealth.

I never had any idea what life would be like but I didn't think I would still be child rearing as I had my first two when I was very young. Life is good, I have a reasonable paid job and I am giving my youngest three a life I never had and my older children a better role model and example of what a stable family life looks like.

I’m so sorry to hear that x I understand what you mean. I feel like a house of cards or dominoes and collecting so many other issues along the way.

I wish I’d valued and appreciated my health more.

Im responding to treatment and I know it’s just a holding position. There’s no cure. But I have had an extra year so far.

im ok. I’m back at work which I didn’t think I would be. I’ve jettisoned some things there and I’m lucky I work in a supportive team.

i am preparing. Saying things now. Started a list of things my dc should know like where the stopcock is. Accounts. It’s actually cathartic. Sorted out death in service for them. Passing on jewellery I want them to have now.

Also fixing the house up.

I'm sorry. How are you at the moment?

Similar here. I was upskilling ready for a promotion and we were planning on moving to a bigger house in a lovely coastal town. Life was great.

Then a diagnosis of stage 4 cancer at 41 brought my world crashing down. I've had many ups and downs over the last 4 years but right now multiple things are going wrong at once and I'm scared that my luck is running out. I'm 45 with 13 & 10 year olds

I have bought some Trip 3000mg dream drops from Amazon. Will try them tonight and see how I get on. Thanks..

I’m 46 and being completely truthful, I feel let down and it’s hard to shake. After fighting to be heard since the age of 39 for treatment for a truck load of perimenopause symptoms which affected my life so badly, only to be fobbed off by everyone I spoke with, both male and female doctors and other medical professionals to finally get a diagnosis two years ago. I’ve turned a corner but not out of the woods. I feel extremely angry and hurt my mother knew all of this was to come and said absolutely nothing. Yet she would still willingly antagonise the heck out of me during this time knowing I was enduring biopsies, random health issues, confused, mentally unstable, couldn’t form a sentence and gaslit me into the middle of next year, continuing her life long mission to keep making me feel small and useless. My DH in this time was diagnosed with AuDHD and my son with Autism. I am having an absolute ball. I had to give up karate, I was going for my 2nd Dan and coaching when the joints started playing up, my back became as unstable as my mind and I couldn’t shake the smallest of injuries. I can’t drive because I become that anxious I cry or I’ll be angry and swearing at some poor soul within 30 seconds.
Breaking point was mid last year and I am working on absolutely everything. I am a lot better mentally and winging it. I no longer feel bad for not being my usual self and having a good old reboot.
Lucky to have a healthy and happy family and be comfortable. I remind myself of this whenever I have a wobble. I don’t want to go down the HRT route either for personal reasons. It’s simply not an option for me.

Wait til you get to 60.. the hormone imbalances etc will become irrelevant.. i got to 60 and had to care for elderly parent with alzheimers and keep an eye 👁️ n bedbound relatives etc… you dont know how lucky you have it til this happens….

I always thought I’d be more serious and dour in my late forties. Instead, the opposite has happened. I love going out, going to gigs, dancing, and I’m far more laid-back and understanding of others. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Maybe because I’ve got less to prove to myself. I love being in my late forties!

At 50, Im earning more/in a more senior position than I ever thought I would be. I didn't think that Id suffer in the way that I have for the past 5 years due to peri menopause though. Didn't realise how very different in myself it'd make me feel (despite HRT). I'm fitter than I was in my 30s or early 40s but feel like I have a lot less mental energy. In sort, I am grateful for all I have but not very excited about the future.

Fair to say my 40s haven't been great mostly because I was diagnosed with breast cancer a month after I turned 47. Two mastectomies, fallopian tubes & ovaries removed, chemo, radiotherapy and later, and am still plagued with the most dreadful and painful peripheral neuropathy. But, you know what, am pretty happy, far happier than I was pre-cancer. Why? Well, I didn't die - am the first in my family to be diagnosed with cancer and not die within six months. My mother died at 50. I'm now a few months away from my 52nd birthday. I've outlived her. That's ahuge thing. Am just bloody grateful to have a life to live that its buoys me enough to put up with all the crap (indeed, am currently dealing with eviction, TA and all other kinds of shit. But, it would be so much worse.

My sole gripe? Not being allowed HRT. I went through a premature menopause and that was the only thing keeping me going. But, and thankfully, now I am finished cancer treatment and seven years post menopause, most of those symptoms have vanished. Or maybe it's just chemo-brain is far worse than meno-brain ever was. Either way, I'll be fine. The simple fact that I was had cancer and didn't die like my mum, (nor my aunt who was in her 30s). This keeps me going, and kind of puts everything else into perspective tbh. Am just pleased to be experiencing a time of life that my mother did not, and I could never envision.

Without wanting to sound flippant, am kind of relieved I've dealt with both parents dying (and will never have to deal with them ageing and everything that brings). Add in I've had my own major health scare and seem to have come out of it mostly unscathed. Am hopeful it means I can get on with my 50s and have a great time! Am actually filled with hope for my 50s that was missing during my 40s.

Interesting thread OP. Learning a lot from the not so great and I spared by the positives.

Due to circumstances, I've never been able to plan or dream big, had to live day by day and hope for the best.

Now late 40's, I'm more or less happily average.

Peri has been a pain, not on anything, just riding it out. I was stuck on the same weight for 2 years, then realised I could try harder, so have finally started to go down by cutting out lunch and having protein only for breakfast as well as three 5k jogs a week.

Relationship is great, job is OK, finances so-so.

Biggest win is finally being able to stand up for myself to DM and other family members.
Used to be a people pleaser, but now, DH and I come first and people have learnt to accept it.

Gosh! Can't believe so many women my age feels this way. I'm 47, have been on HRT (and testosterone) for 2 years - I also take creatine. Still love my job (headteacher), earn a great salary and so does DH so combined income is high. Still in a great marriage and think my husband is hot! Lovely children who are sporty and academic. I get frustrated that we don't have the same benefits from parents that lots of our British peers seem to have had like mortgages paid off or being gifted huge sums of money. I send money home to my parents so there is no chance of a windfall for me. People often say I'm 'lucky' when they hear my story but I feel I've worked incredibly hard to get here and have looked after my relationships well so I'm well liked and have good friends. I know this looks like luck from the outside given my very humble immigrant roots! I worry about my children taking this very comfortable life for granted so regularly remind them of times when our cupboards were bare when I was a child.

Financially not where i would want to be. Friends retiring and I am skint.
However, loving life early 50s being single, weekends to myself now kids grown. I do all my hobbies all the time , see friends, socialise ,drink and party. No grumpy man at home dampening the mood.
Bit more tired so have to factor in down time between the fun but.life is for living

I was thinking about this the other day when a pension statement came through. It was from the first pension I started over 20 years ago, and I obviously put retirement down as 55!

I’ve just started a new role which is a step down from my last job. It’s a good combination of interesting, nice people, not too stressful and the pay is good for the sector and role. I have no desire to get promoted or climb the ladder.

I would like to go to 4 days a week and am planning for that soonish but prob not this year. The mortgage will be paid off in 5 years, but that’s not the biggest part of my monthly expenses so not a huge deal.

I have a health condition so used to feeling very fatigued and that’s no worse, but I’ve put on a stone and sleep is a lot worse. That’s the bit I’d like to improve. On the other hand I am fitter than I was.

Mid 50s and happier than ever. Health is good apart from usual aches and pains but I don’t feel old.
Menopause was awful but HRT sorted that for me.
Kids grown, settled with partners and building good careers. Two gorgeous grandsons.
have been happily married for 30 years and we both have taken early retirement. Husband 3 years ago and me one year ago. I am conscious of the fact we have more years behind us than in front but we are enjoying a slower pace of life after working for the last 40 years. We are lucky enough to be able to have several holidays each year and regularly go on evenings out.

It sounds like you're seriously depleted. Running 40k a week is a huge amount of strain on your body and you have a stressful job. Im a health professional and I would seriously advise you to look at your lifestyle to reduce the stress, swap some of the running for yoga and meditation. Our body's change as we age and we do need to adjust.

Could you share on here or via PM please, where you get your melatonin and what strength, and what brand and strength of CBD oil works please.
I feel much like you very often and if there's a combo which could help, then I'll run not walk to get it!

Try the ‘Trip CBD 3000mg high strength dream drops. I’ve just started using them as I suffer from chronic pain and can’t sleep. They are helping massively. Have a look on TikTok shop at the trip store. They have other cbd sellers as well

It’s super annoying and I can’t do what I like thanks to menopause meaning I can’t tolerate alcohol anymore 🤣

I'm 51 and have a 4 year old, whom I love more than I imagined was possible. It's all great.

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 46, which I'm fairly sure started at puberty but I never hit the NHS diagnosis threshold. I have more energy now than at any time before I was about 12. It's all relative I guess. All the peri symptoms friends are complaining of are things I experienced for over 3 decades, and was told were my fault/I was imagining.

I weigh less, exercise more, am happier, healthier and more optimistic. Life is good.

I’d ask for thyroid, full blood count, iron, B12 and vit D (I’m not a medical person just taken an interest)

I think it’s true that at our ages we think this is it. But I always wonder if I’d gone to the doc sooner would my condition be so severe.

Just in case you’re not on it; HRT really helped my sleep and mood. And aches! Gutted when I had to stop.

Don’t accept it; check it out.