My daughter is 2.5, Asian, and attends a private nursery. She’s been there for about a year and is in the preschool room.
A few weeks ago we were at a playground and a little girl (maybe about a year older) came over and asked if I was my daughter’s mum. She very confidently told me that my daughter goes to the same nursery as her and chatted away. She seemed sweet and my daughter liked her.
Today at nursery pick-up we saw the same girl again while both of us were getting our prams ready. I said hello to her and, while chatting away, she asked why my daughter’s eyes were 'squinty' (or something along those lines – it started with an S but I don't remember exact wording).
To be clear, I’m not particularly bothered by the comment about eye shape itself. Small children notice physical differences and say things directly, and I think that’s fairly normal.
What made me pause was what happened next. I just smiled, her mum seemed little embarrassed and said "Children say things like that". I was fine with this as children do say things like that. The girl then came back over and pulled the sides of her eyes with her fingers (the typical “slanting eyes” gesture). Her mum looked a bit embarrassed and put her in the pram and they left. I just smiled and said goodbye and didn’t make anything of it at the time.
I don’t think the child had any malicious intent – she’s very young after all. But the gesture itself did make me uncomfortable because it feels like the sort of thing children usually copy from somewhere rather than invent themselves or come up naturally.
My daughter is only 2.5 so I doubt she even registered it today, but they are in the same room at nursery and it made me wonder whether I should mention it to staff just so they can keep an eye on interactions, in case this kind of thing happens again.
I’m not looking to make a complaint or cause a big issue – just wondering if it’s something you’d casually flag to nursery or if I’m overthinking a one-off situation.
WWYD?
post amended a little bit by MNHQ for reasons of privacy