Would you mention this to nursery or am I overthinking it?

The problem is that the other child is just accurately and truthfully observing the people around her.

Your daughter does look different. It is noticeable to a child.

There is absolutely no way that there is any ill intent behind it.

What on earth would you "flag", OP?

Might be a good idea to get the staff to discuss it with all the kids. I.e. the fact that people come in all shapes and sizes. And also that there is nothing wrong with noticing this and finding it interesting.

Most importantly, I think you should talk to your own kid at some point and explain that she does look different to the vast majority of the population and people, especially other children, might be curious about that. Help her understand that it's ok to be different and it's ok to be curious too! And the fact that she happens to be outwardly different doesn't mean anything. She is the funny, clever, lovely person she is.

Her mum should have told her we don't comment on others person appearances! Everyone is unique and beautiful. She's dismissed a learning opportunity x

I would raise it with nursery just to flag it hapoened and to watch out for this little girls behaviour. It needs to be nipped in the bud if they see it happening and perhaps they can gently tell kids about how everyone is different.
The little girl obviously didnt know what she was doing, but if I saw my child doing that, i'd be having a very firm conversation with them.

I'd send an email or message in the parent app. Just so it doesn't get overlooked and you don't feel rushed or like you're being overheard.

Up to you if you name the child. I think writing something like "seemed a sweet child who didn't know how the gesture might be interpreted" but perhaps the nursery could read some stories celebrating various ethnicities or about things that are the same and different between the children, would be absolutely fine. I doubt it's the first time nursery have encountered similar.

I would mention this if I'd overheard the interaction. Not least because it's often helpful for children and parents to know how to talk about differences. DS's school have had some parent events on this topic that have been really helpful.

I would tell the teacher not as a complaint but maybe they can do a lesson where they talk about body differences and where people come from I know my kids nursery would absolutely do it for me .

I'd mention it. They can have a general session with the kids on how everyone looks different and also keep an eye on your daughter and this girl. I can't tell for sure what the nursery staff might think but I am grateful to everyone who makes life easier for kids with majority appearances.

I don't think you have to keep the girl's identity secret. You are obviously not accusing her of racism but I do think it would be good for the nursery staff to keep an eye on her and gently teach her to not imitate physical differences.

For now I'd just have a quick word at drop off/pick up and probably not mention which child. You can always escalate if it becomes a pattern.

This. I used to be the teacher in a School Nursery Class and I would want to know.

Definitely mention it then they can keep an eye for this child making that action again as she needs to be taught in an appropriate way that it’s not ok

I'd mention it. I told nursery when my own DS at that age said 'X can't do very many things because she is a girl' and they did more activities in the group about how girls and boys can do all the same stuff.

I think nursery would probably want to know op and then they can introduce learning about how everyone is different (in an age appropriate way).

Not if you frame it right. Start off by saying "I'm not making a complaint, but raising an issue." I agree (and you might suggest) that the nursery should be reading stories which explain diversity and inclusion, and telling the children (however young) that certain words and gestures/acts are not polite or acceptable. I'm very sure if they used the n-word to a black child, or called a brown child a P*ki, they would be shut down fast, this is no different.

I’d mention it, in a low key way.

My child’s best friend at nursery was Spanish. Some of the little ones made some comments along the lines of ‘speaking Spanish is stupid’. Just very silly, kid stuff. The nursery handled it really well with circle times around how lucky we are to have so many different cultures in the school, celebrating difference, etc. Informing them could help them to manage it this way.

I'd mention it. Mine goes to what is effectively the expat day care (not deliberately, but actually works for us because we're long term immigrants) so the staff regularly have conversations about people being different because the kids are from about 10 different countries and only share the nursery language. They seem to notice at about 3 that not everyone speaks the same language or has the same nationality and suddenly start asking all the parents bluntly where the babies are from and what language they speak at home.

I really can’t see a child of 2.5 either noticing another toddlers eyes or knowing that if they pull their own eyes it would mimic it. No way. The reason the mother was so embarrassed is because the child was repeating what they have heard at home, not necessarily from her but someone in the home.

I think you should mention it to the nursery.

I would mention it, so they're aware, but at that age it's simply observation and being interested.

Dd was born without a hand and children, even older would stick their arm back up their sleeve to be like her. It wasn't at that age being nasty, just seeing what it was like.

In a sillier example ds decided to wear his school sweatshirt backwards one Monday in year R. By Friday over half the class came out wearing it backwards... He wasn't particularly popular or a leader, but others saw it and imitated it.

I would mention it - from reading your OP it doesn't sound like you think she's got it from nursery staff, so I think a quick word with her key worker when you drop her off/pick her up would be ok. The little girl either got it from her parents or another child (who possibly also goes to the nursery) so they should keep an eye out especially as they get older.

Children absolutely do come up with this on their own. They are trying to relate to and mimic one another; they don’t have adult notions of why it may be inappropriate. My best friend as a child was Japanese and we would take turns pulling at our eyes to mimic each other’s when we were 4/5 years old. He would put his fingers at the top and bottom of his eyes to hold them as wide open as he could and say “big eyes! big eyes!” to me. 😂

I think it should be fine to mention it to nursery and given them an opportunity to help the kids learn more about diversity.

I say this as when I was at school, I know of at least one case where a girl got in trouble for a racist insult against a really mean teacher, but it had been the girl’s mum who had originally made the comment. So you never know, some of it could be coming from parents.

It's fine to mention it to them to just keep an eye on things. The child obviously didn't know what she was doing but might have picked up other words or behaviours that might be similar to this.

The nursery could introduce specific activities that celebrate diversity which would benefit all kids.

My daughter is 3 and attends a wonderful preschool. She has decided that a few of the boys aren’t her cup of tea. As it happens the two she dislikes the most are dark skinned, and announced once when coming out of the toilet after ballet “I don’t like brown boys”
I was absolutely mortified, and told the staff at the preschool about it straight away. They were wonderful and have been talking to all the children about diversity and keeping an eye on how they interact with each other. She’s still afraid of one of the kids but has not mentioned his appearance ever again.
It’s unlikely that she meant anything by it, but if you want to tell the nursery, you should, it can be mentioned casually :)

But you aren't overreacting or being too protective, discrimination like that would not be tolerated at a workplace or higher educational settings. At this age it's all about learning how to treat our peers and be respectful of other ethnicities and cultures. Id think the nursery would take it as an opportunity for a kind teachable moment for all children. Best of luck!